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Wow,are you serious? Thats actually the last thing I said to AH before he drove away a few minutes ago. SInce my last pot mid June, AH has picked back up the drinking full speed. Right now he is out looking for cocaine- and has no $. The thing that has been different this time, is he wants us to "pray together" each morning, he writes letters to God. He reminds me that God is with him even when he drinks. Sounds good except that as the day goes on-- well nothing changes. I am at a point that I am about to throw in the towel with al-anon (nothing personal against al-anon), I just have not felt any difference in myself- maybe its just me. I certainly sisnt like how I have handledmyself with him tonight either- I not only engagd him while he is drunk- I went OFF on him, told him I would kick him out blah blah blah. I was so angry I almost hit him. I am just tired of the lies and BS. Not sure where I'll go from here...:wild |
Let me guess. You are religious. He thinks by "praying together" he is giving you what you want. My H was very good at talking the talk. He said everything I wanted to hear. He just never DID what I wanted him to do. It bought him time. Lots of time. Decades of MY life spent waiting for him to get it. How much of your life have you spent believing his charade? How much more are you willing to spend? L |
I agree with LTD. Your AH is manipulative. This is a previous post you made that also describes your AH is willing to do anything to manipulate you into believing he is trying to be a better partner. Also one year ago:
Originally Posted by ellima01
(Post 2254906)
AH left on mother's day for the "farm retreat" as in my last post- I told him I wanted a divorce- he agreed, 2 weekslater on memorial day he begged his way back and of course I caved. He admitted to me that during his last rehab in FL he met a woman, and that after I told him I wanted a divorce he had been with her- the retreat was a lie- everything was a lie. I was devastated- crying just a basket case. He said he would do anything to make it right- and of course I caved again- lets give it ONE more one more chance. He did everything right- planning a wedding vow renewal to start over- meanwhile the crackwho**e he had been with began stalking us. We changed phone #'s 3 times, she came to the house and he went (without any coaxing from me) to the police and got a warrent for her arrest. I thought, OK- he is doing the right things- This last Fri nite I worked 7p-7a- he txt me all night - love you, miss you , cant wait to renew our vows and begin a new life- I show up Sat morn and the crackw**re car is in my driveway and they are together in my basement her laying in his lap- my son asleep upstairs. He was so drunk he thought I had left wrk early. So I beat the crap out of the chick and made them leave. I am so humiliated at my stupidity and I am so DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I am worried about him being able to get visitation w our daughter and worried he will take our 1/2 our house- even tho the only reason we have this house is that I sold a house I owned previous to our marriage to put down on it. You guys all told me and I chose not to hear. But It is over now. He has take 3000$ from our savings in the last 31/2 wks so now I have to take out a loan to pay my attny. Its worth it tho. His parents are supportive of me - relieved I am finally doing what needed to be done long ago- still hurts- he was telling me he loves me while this wh**re is in my house. I will never trust again.
Originally Posted by ellima01
(Post 2256891)
AH's dad went with me- it was really hard- they had me go get a DVO- which I did, He said AH could have visitaion but only supervised- which made me feel better. Also said the house and contents will be mine (house will be consiedered premarital property). There have been tears today- I just feel sad. I know I am doing the right thing- but it is so hard. I feel so alone- Attorney said it may take a long time to get this divorce over with because we are not completely sure where AH is- He may be staying with the prostitute he had in my house- who knows. I just can't help but be sad - for me, for my daughter who never asked for a drunk for a dad. not to mention an idiot for a mom.- And in some sick way, I miss him. |
Hi, I agree with the others. How many years have you been hurt by his behavior? How many more years are you willing to be hurt? I think you might find strength in getting real honest with yourself about why you are with him and why you haven't left. Whatever you are clinging to isn't much I can tell that from your posts. There are a lot of possibilities in the world if you will give it a chance. |
I agree with Pelican. This has been going on too long. He has done some horrendous things and yet you keep taking him back. What does he have to do for you to finally put an end to this? |
Wow, all I can say is get out while you still can. This one is plain as day to read. Defintely worth the price of an attorney! |
how are YOU today ellima? |
Time to say what you mean and mean what you say. Where do you go from here?To me, out the door sounds like a good idea. |
Let some other poor woman deal with his problems! That's how I'm starting to feel about mine. |
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