sandrawg

Hi, I'm not new here, but it's been a while since I've posted.

A friend of mine's alcoholic bf was all fired up to get into treatment the other day, but the treatment center could not accept him until Tuesday. He started going to meetings yesterday. Well, my friend told me today that now he's trying to claim his AA sponsor is talking him out of formal treatment.

People, this guy is SO bad-you should see how much he drinks every day. I suspect he CANNOT stop drinking w/out a medical detox, and I also cannot imagine an AA sponsor doling out what essentially amounts to medical advice like this.

I have a lot of experience w/AA, and knowing how dishonest and manipulative alcoholics can be, I'm thinking, her bf is scared and lying about this.

My friend left a message w/her bf's sponsor to check up on this story. In the meantime, I wasn't sure what to tell her to do.

Knowing that she can only control her own behavior, I said, what i would do is, tell him "ok, that's fine that you don't want to go to treatment, but if you don't, you can no longer live here."

I'm not sure what else she can do? Anybody have any advice??

Learn2Live

Hi Sandrawg, good to hear from you again
Your friend could go to Al-Anon, work on getting some emotional distance from him.

sandrawg

Yes, she is definitely planning on doing that, but she was worried the sponsor and her bf would "gang up on her" to get her to accept him not going to treatment.

I just can't imagine an AA sponsor giving what amounts to medical advice like this.

suki44883

It's really not her decision whether or not he goes to treatment. It's his decision. Whether or not it's a lie is irrelevant. If he doesn't want to go, that is his decision to make. The only person in this situation she has control over is herself. The best thing she can do for herself is get to an alanon meeting and decide what she wants in her life.