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Exhausted from hurting for loved ones...

Old 06-28-2010, 10:25 PM
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Exhausted from hurting for loved ones...

Both my children and two stepsons have addiction problems. 4 out of 8 or our children. Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong. I did everything I could to raise my kids right. Never drank, smoked, or did drugs. Took them to church. Loved them probably too much. I just can't accept that there is nothing I can do to get through to them. My daughter has three precious children who are spending most of their time with us. She's been on drugs half her life. Not sure if it's drugs now or depression. My son went to rehab and has been off meth for years, but is an alcoholic. Why can't I have a normal life with normal healthy functioning adult children?? I'm just so drained!
My daughter's gas is about to be cut off. I've been supporting her for too long. Don't know what to do anymore. Do I pay her bill, or let it get turned off and let her suffer the consequences?
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:41 AM
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[QUOTE=dancingran;2638831
My daughter's gas is about to be cut off. I've been supporting her for too long. Don't know what to do anymore. Do I pay her bill, or let it get turned off and let her suffer the consequences?
:[/QUOTE]

Welcome dear dancingram.you are now among people that know your pain and exhaustion.

About addiction:

1. you did not cause it.
2. you cannot control it.
3. you cannot cure it.

About the quote above - I learned here and at the rehabs my husband went to that the addict will not get better if they suffer no consequences. No addict wakes up one fine morning and says to him/herself " I think I want to stop drinking." They first have to feel there is a problem .

It is the same as with you and most of us here - we start feeling/seeing there is a problem and then we start to change our behaviour.

Please keep on coming back. The people here have been a huge help to me !!!

Hugs
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:38 AM
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Welcome to the Sober Recovery family!

You will finds lots of support and information here.
I recommend reading around in the permanent posts (stickies) at the top of this forum. Some of our stories are there, and lots of wisdom too.

I think you know what you need to do concerning your daughter's gas bill.

Play the tape forward and face the fear of what happens after her gas bill gets turned off. She will be inconvenienced, but it is not the end of the world. She may get mad at you, but you are not to blame. Her actions or inactions (paying bills) is why she will have her gas shut off.

Make yourself at home here by reading as posting as much as needed.
You are not alone.
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Old 06-29-2010, 06:34 AM
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Originally Posted by dancingran View Post
Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong.
I think I read this here somewhere -- sometimes you do everything you can and still have a bad outcome.
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