The blame, the same fights..just leave.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 174
The blame, the same fights..just leave.
It's always ME, Apparently when we met and he was in treatment for alcohol and I was in for another reason, eating disorder (young and dumb only 19) and well it is my fault that I "MADE" him leave his treatment and that is why he is an alcoholic. I was the one that caused him issues and the money problems is what has lead him to drinking. Okay..thinking to myself, well why in the world do you have 4 DUI's in less than 10 years..and you think you deserve your license back because you paid the assessor money to re do your assessment and you lied about your sobriety and found coworkers to help you lie. He is basically a dry drunk.
He wonders why I am so cold to him? Yeah, 6 months is great for not drinking but really 5 years of this crap and he thinks everything should be good and I need to just move on adn forget the past. This may be a codie thought but how in the world does he expect this trust to come and whatever his definition of normal is but he wants to be "normal" as a family, when he is doing this on his own, no professionals doing everything his way. I give him credit though for helping around the house and for loosing weight and getting into shape. But really, does he still need to treat our little ones like they are a burden and it is the hugest chore to play with them.
We had a huge fight tonight and he says he is moving out in a month or so(he has threatened to kick the kids and I out many times but he finally gave up and said he will go but never has fallen through), he says he needs to wait until he saves enought money i guess. He also said I will have a limited amount to spend and that I can't go to my cousins wedding unless I ask my parents for money. WTH?! I am just praying God can put everything in place and he can leave and I can finally feel....free. I just don't see this getting any better and I don't know if I can ever truely love a person who hurt me this bad.
He wonders why I am so cold to him? Yeah, 6 months is great for not drinking but really 5 years of this crap and he thinks everything should be good and I need to just move on adn forget the past. This may be a codie thought but how in the world does he expect this trust to come and whatever his definition of normal is but he wants to be "normal" as a family, when he is doing this on his own, no professionals doing everything his way. I give him credit though for helping around the house and for loosing weight and getting into shape. But really, does he still need to treat our little ones like they are a burden and it is the hugest chore to play with them.
We had a huge fight tonight and he says he is moving out in a month or so(he has threatened to kick the kids and I out many times but he finally gave up and said he will go but never has fallen through), he says he needs to wait until he saves enought money i guess. He also said I will have a limited amount to spend and that I can't go to my cousins wedding unless I ask my parents for money. WTH?! I am just praying God can put everything in place and he can leave and I can finally feel....free. I just don't see this getting any better and I don't know if I can ever truely love a person who hurt me this bad.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Lindsey, are you working a program? Learning ways of coping with this situation? Learning the tools 12-step programs teach us to deal with alcoholism in our families? I strongly suggest Al-Anon. Hoping that HE follow thru on action that needs to be taken for your OWN peace and serenity will get you no where. Nothing changes if nothing changes. It begins with YOU. Own your side of the street.
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