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I just don't get it

Old 06-29-2010, 02:22 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I have also cried more in the last three months than I ever have in my entire life.
I SO know what you mean here.
I am glad you are moving forward with your life :O)
Do your best to maintain no contact.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:40 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Hello...I'm new here.
I have a long story...I'll spare you that for now....I started dating a man who I knew drank too much and had a pretty bad history.....So, I decided it would be ok to see him if he wasn't drinking while we're together. I have my own history, but have made it a point to NEVER date an active addict/alcoholic...So this came totally out of left field for me.
So for the first couple months this worked out ok, we had a lot of fun and got along pretty well....LOTS OF LAUGHTER! ....Here we are three months later and since he lives about 45 mins from me, I used to go there when I had my two days off and spend it with him....Of course this didn't last because he is now (in my sick mind) purposely drinking the day right before I'm supposed to go down there.

It's obvious that my self worth cannot be too great to get involved with him in the first place....But now I'm a mess. All I can think is, why doesn't he just say he doesn't want to see me instead of going to meetings all week and doing the right thing and then purposely drinking because he knows I won't go there if he is. I would NEVER go anywhere uninvited, so of course he is the one asking me to come down to see him and then it's like a punch in the gut when he gets smashed right before I'm supposed to see him. It's really hurtful...I cannot believe I let myself get here.
Is this his way of just saying I don't want to see you even though I ask you to come here????????
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:53 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Is this his way of just saying I don't want to see you even though I ask you to come here????????
Manipulation Control
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:10 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mrphillipctrs1 View Post
Manipulation Control
Hahahaa.....Short and to the point and probably couldn't have been said better.

Unreal....I am an adult child, I've had my own issues with addiction and here's the capper....I work in a treatment center and have been working in the field for over 15 years....Have been in a few dysfunctional relationships and after the last one....I decided I was just taking time off (and by time, I mean l haven't had a relationship in five years) in that time I have worked on myself, learned to meditate, read and listened to more Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson than you could imagine....So after five long years...THIS IS WHAT I GO AND DO!!! I am baffled. To think I was doing soooo well and then BAM! Crazy curve ball comes at me and here I am.....Seeing that I chose a similar type of relationship (emotionally unavailable) AND raging alcoholic. I will say this for myself....I got out of it a lot sooner than my previous debacles.....Although, we all know it won't be long before I hear from him again.
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:47 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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My XAGF ran off with the nurse who looked after her at the detox place she went to prior to rehab, and then privately at his house (yea right). She told me of a visit he made down there and told me how sickly he looked. Maybe she was forshadowing her attempt to beat him into the ground as well.

After she relapsed at her rehab, he met her outside the gate? C'mon, what the hell was he thinking, he is in the business?

It is like watching a train wreck, trully.

I have only two words now...oh my.
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:58 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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oops...double post
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:59 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mrphillipctrs1 View Post
My XAGF ran off with the nurse who looked after her at the detox place she went to prior to rehab, and then privately at his house (yea right). She told me of a visit he made down there and told me how sickly he looked. Maybe she was forshadowing her attempt to beat him into the ground as well.

After she relapsed at her rehab, he met her outside the gate? C'mon, what the hell was he thinking, he is in the business?

It is like watching a train wreck, trully.

I have only two words now...oh my.
So sorry to hear that....That had to be so hard for you...Thinking she was going to get help and then end up in the hands of a predator.
OMG! There are sooo many sick people in the business. One of my biggest biggest problems with people is poor boundaries....You can imagine what I've seen in all the years working in psych and substance abuse....

Then there are wonderful people and I work with some incredibly gifted counselors. I'd say maybe 85% of us are in recovery and I've been at this job for five years and it's all the same staff...That says a lot.
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Old 06-30-2010, 05:09 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Hello, Mataleao, and welcome to Sober Recovery. I think, with your knowledge of addiction and recovery, you will agree that this is a pretty terrific site for help and support.

Wanna start a new thread so your "introduction" gets noticed? It feels like to me this one with Hurtingbad's situation has run its course.
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