What Does it Mean When Your HP is Silent?
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What Does it Mean When Your HP is Silent?
First of all, let me just say that although I am a spiritual person, I am not a religious one. I don't subscribe to the belief that there is just one way of understanding the divine.
I am going thru a really rough time right now. I have talked and talked and talked to God - begged, pleaded, ranted, whispered, cried, yelled. I get nothing in return. Quoting Beattie, "This child in us believes we are unlovable and will never find the comfort we are seeking....we may come to believe that people will never be there for us....even God seems to have gone away."
Someone in a different thread said that maybe God already answered my question and I didn't hear Him/Her, or that I am asking the wrong question. I just don't know. I need something solid - a burning bush, I guess. I realize that evidence of His/Her concern for regular folks will never be as concrete as that, but I just don't see or sense anything.
I'm fading fast in my belief that things will ever be OK. That I will be anywhere near normal. That anyone even cares about me enough to notice if got better anyway. I need a sign - something - anything.
I am going thru a really rough time right now. I have talked and talked and talked to God - begged, pleaded, ranted, whispered, cried, yelled. I get nothing in return. Quoting Beattie, "This child in us believes we are unlovable and will never find the comfort we are seeking....we may come to believe that people will never be there for us....even God seems to have gone away."
Someone in a different thread said that maybe God already answered my question and I didn't hear Him/Her, or that I am asking the wrong question. I just don't know. I need something solid - a burning bush, I guess. I realize that evidence of His/Her concern for regular folks will never be as concrete as that, but I just don't see or sense anything.
I'm fading fast in my belief that things will ever be OK. That I will be anywhere near normal. That anyone even cares about me enough to notice if got better anyway. I need a sign - something - anything.
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Lots of people I know (including myself) thinks that their higher power speaks to them thru others. Read some posts, go to a meeting, call an alanon friend...I bet you hear something . Also, when I was on the floor begging for my higher power to take my pain, it didn't happen instantly. A few days later I started finding alot more comfort and peace. No burning bush but...
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My grandmother once told me that being quiet inside and out is the only way to truly hear silence.
Like you, I did all I could to get my higher power to hear me in the throws of dealing with my XABF.
When I remembered what I had been told is about the time I stopped doing all the talking out loud and in my head and really just listened.
The answers do come in different ways for different people. You can't know how that will be for you so you just have stay in your faith and let it come.
I've read here soething that also stuck....The sooner you 'let go and let God' the sooner He will.
Hang in
Alice
Like you, I did all I could to get my higher power to hear me in the throws of dealing with my XABF.
When I remembered what I had been told is about the time I stopped doing all the talking out loud and in my head and really just listened.
The answers do come in different ways for different people. You can't know how that will be for you so you just have stay in your faith and let it come.
I've read here soething that also stuck....The sooner you 'let go and let God' the sooner He will.
Hang in
Alice
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God will answer prayers in 3 ways.
Yes
No
Wait
His timing is not our timing. When we think He is silent, He is listening, He hears us cry out to Him. The answer WE seek isn't always the answer He will give us. Because God says 'no' now, doesn't mean that he won't restore what you desire. All it means is that maybe, this isn't what He has planned for you. His best is always better than any 'best' we can imagine for ourselves!
Yes
No
Wait
His timing is not our timing. When we think He is silent, He is listening, He hears us cry out to Him. The answer WE seek isn't always the answer He will give us. Because God says 'no' now, doesn't mean that he won't restore what you desire. All it means is that maybe, this isn't what He has planned for you. His best is always better than any 'best' we can imagine for ourselves!
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
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What signs are you looking for? IMO many people I have known with the types of problems we on SR have, think that God is there to grant wishes. Are you looking for someone to magically change in answer to your prayers? Do you expect God to do for you without consideration for what You could do for God? Establishing a relationship with your HP may involve more than praying for what you want. Why do you want to see a burning bush? That would be weird 
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Rick Burnett:
So there are actions we must take with our faith. Are there steps besides prayer that we must take?
Dr. Robert A. Schuller:
I like to quote St. Augustine who said: "Pray like it all depends on God and work like it all depends on you." So, we can’t sit there and pray and pray and pray, and say God, why don’t you help me?
It’s like the joke about the man who has been notified that his house is going to be flooded and he needs to get out of the house. He says no I don’t have to, God is going to take care of me. Then the flood starts to rise and a sheriff comes along and tells him to get out. The man says no, God is going to save me. So, the floods continue to rise, and he climbs on top of the house. A boat comes along and he’s told to climb into the boat. He says, no, no , God is going to save me. Finally, a helicopter comes along and they lower the net to rescue him. The man says, no, no, God is going to save me! Well, the man drowns and goes to heaven. When he gets to heaven he says to God, "why didn’t you save me?" God says, "I sent the sheriff, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter, what more did you want me to do?"
There is a point at which we have to take responsibility for our faith. When God sends a helicopter, you have to climb in. So, action is a part of faith and prayer as well.
So there are actions we must take with our faith. Are there steps besides prayer that we must take?
Dr. Robert A. Schuller:
I like to quote St. Augustine who said: "Pray like it all depends on God and work like it all depends on you." So, we can’t sit there and pray and pray and pray, and say God, why don’t you help me?
It’s like the joke about the man who has been notified that his house is going to be flooded and he needs to get out of the house. He says no I don’t have to, God is going to take care of me. Then the flood starts to rise and a sheriff comes along and tells him to get out. The man says no, God is going to save me. So, the floods continue to rise, and he climbs on top of the house. A boat comes along and he’s told to climb into the boat. He says, no, no , God is going to save me. Finally, a helicopter comes along and they lower the net to rescue him. The man says, no, no, God is going to save me! Well, the man drowns and goes to heaven. When he gets to heaven he says to God, "why didn’t you save me?" God says, "I sent the sheriff, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter, what more did you want me to do?"
There is a point at which we have to take responsibility for our faith. When God sends a helicopter, you have to climb in. So, action is a part of faith and prayer as well.
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I think that it extremely difficult to discern the small voice of God. Even when we think we are, we don't always hear it just right.
I sometimes tell myself "hindsight will reveal what I cannot see just now". That helps a little. Also, looking back on the path I have walked, and seeing that things - even the horrible things - have contributed to some good in my life, helps enormously. Believing that one, is all about faith.
Perhaps you don't have much of a track record yet for good things coming your way. That is going to change. Perhaps you have had the good come, but it's just hard for you to see it for that.
I like Hammer's illustration and advice.
Wish you well (and when you changin your name?)
I sometimes tell myself "hindsight will reveal what I cannot see just now". That helps a little. Also, looking back on the path I have walked, and seeing that things - even the horrible things - have contributed to some good in my life, helps enormously. Believing that one, is all about faith.
Perhaps you don't have much of a track record yet for good things coming your way. That is going to change. Perhaps you have had the good come, but it's just hard for you to see it for that.
I like Hammer's illustration and advice.
Wish you well (and when you changin your name?)
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
For me, it always means I should be more patient. More faithful. Keep working, keep believing I am being taken care of. Keep praying.
Because I've had prayers answered years, decades later. At least the miraculous healing kinds of answered prayers.
The Spirit world operates on it's own time. May's full moon, I realized I suddenly felt more patient with my kids. That I am able to see them better. Help them more selflessly. It brought me to tears and when I started saying "thank you" the answer came so clearly.
Well, you've been praying for this.
And I have. For years.
What do your prayers look like? My Elders tell me our thoughts and words are beings. We send them out to do our work. From your post, and going only on what you wrote, it appears your prayers are desperate, and those have their place, but when I pray "Thank you for showing me where you want me to live with the kids," instead of praying, "what the hell?! Why do I have to move again? I suck, this is NEVER going to change," amazing things happen.
Also, I would recemmend doing two things:
Do waht you think is best and most honorable in the moment, doing the best you can to assure it's not fear motivated and then
Release attachment to outcome.
These two things opened me up to an abundance from the Cosmos.
Sending you hugs.
Because I've had prayers answered years, decades later. At least the miraculous healing kinds of answered prayers.
The Spirit world operates on it's own time. May's full moon, I realized I suddenly felt more patient with my kids. That I am able to see them better. Help them more selflessly. It brought me to tears and when I started saying "thank you" the answer came so clearly.
Well, you've been praying for this.
And I have. For years.
What do your prayers look like? My Elders tell me our thoughts and words are beings. We send them out to do our work. From your post, and going only on what you wrote, it appears your prayers are desperate, and those have their place, but when I pray "Thank you for showing me where you want me to live with the kids," instead of praying, "what the hell?! Why do I have to move again? I suck, this is NEVER going to change," amazing things happen.
Also, I would recemmend doing two things:
Do waht you think is best and most honorable in the moment, doing the best you can to assure it's not fear motivated and then
Release attachment to outcome.
These two things opened me up to an abundance from the Cosmos.
Sending you hugs.
Climbing hills, flying down...
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
DM,
I so relate to you; I have struggled with the concept of a HP for some time. I am not religious in the traditional Western sense of the word, and I don't believe in the God that I was introduced to in my youth. I do find some comfort in the teachings of Buddhism, and I am somewhat spiritual, but I still haven't found "my HP".
What I do find comforting are the things I learn through the words of others, specifically on this forum. I remember a couple months back I was at a very low point in dealing with my alcoholic sister, and I felt desperate, sad, and alone. I posted something to that effect, and within an hour, I had many, many insightful responses from people on here who really showed that they cared about how I was feeling and what I was going through; I had a "you're NOT alone" moment right then. So in that sense, learning through others and being open to learning from others' experiences has helped me tremendously.
Sending you hugs...hang in there sweetie.
I so relate to you; I have struggled with the concept of a HP for some time. I am not religious in the traditional Western sense of the word, and I don't believe in the God that I was introduced to in my youth. I do find some comfort in the teachings of Buddhism, and I am somewhat spiritual, but I still haven't found "my HP".
What I do find comforting are the things I learn through the words of others, specifically on this forum. I remember a couple months back I was at a very low point in dealing with my alcoholic sister, and I felt desperate, sad, and alone. I posted something to that effect, and within an hour, I had many, many insightful responses from people on here who really showed that they cared about how I was feeling and what I was going through; I had a "you're NOT alone" moment right then. So in that sense, learning through others and being open to learning from others' experiences has helped me tremendously.
Sending you hugs...hang in there sweetie.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by loveon2legs 
Hammer LOVE that story!!!! isn't that the way!!!
a quick search brought me to this link... I focused in on the conversation about prayer and thought it appropriate.... perhaps it was divine intervention
Possibility Living
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
I struggled with a HP for quite some time, mostly bacause I guess I believed if I embrace and trust the HP than I had to let go of me, my beliefs, being in charge, my protection sheild and most of what I wanted. So it was a great fear of unknown. Like if I'm not trying to control the events than anything can happen, but I thought anything bad can happen, it never occured to me something good can happen too. Only when it got so bad for me that I realized it is as bad as it gets I allowed the possibility if I let go maybe things can start changing for a better. So for me it came from a utter desperation, and I just let go. I thought whatever happens it's better from where I am. I stopped looking for answers, and once I did they started appearing in front of me. And I realized they were there all the time, it was me refusing to see them.
And I aslo found out I have signs from my HP all the time. It's not burning bushes, it's someting even better, it's that voice, that feeling inside of me that knows it all. The one that I was trying to silence for years, as I was stuck in my desires of what things should be like, my paradigms on life, in what's "normal", right, good,... I realized the key to it all is inside of me, my HP put it in there, but it was up to me to find it under the piles of fears, illusions and the rest of things that were distancing me from my core being, and unlock that door.
So, IMO my HP speaks though my gut feeling, or survival instict if you like it better, and adds even more help showing the examples of happy life all around me, the sun that shines in the moring, the smile on my kids faces, the beautiful support of my SR and real life friends. The thing is all of it was here, around me for ever, I just had to make a choice and start seeing it. Once I did, my whole life changed. It was like awakening.
And I aslo found out I have signs from my HP all the time. It's not burning bushes, it's someting even better, it's that voice, that feeling inside of me that knows it all. The one that I was trying to silence for years, as I was stuck in my desires of what things should be like, my paradigms on life, in what's "normal", right, good,... I realized the key to it all is inside of me, my HP put it in there, but it was up to me to find it under the piles of fears, illusions and the rest of things that were distancing me from my core being, and unlock that door.
So, IMO my HP speaks though my gut feeling, or survival instict if you like it better, and adds even more help showing the examples of happy life all around me, the sun that shines in the moring, the smile on my kids faces, the beautiful support of my SR and real life friends. The thing is all of it was here, around me for ever, I just had to make a choice and start seeing it. Once I did, my whole life changed. It was like awakening.
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
Hi DM, i posted a thread in Spirituality forum, you can read on ''the Silence of GOD'' - for me, it was hard! I have always believed and never felt i couldnt hear HP, until 3 years ago, when i found my H had started drinking again after 8 years, i was devastated, my whole world crashed, and i couldnt feel or hear HP, I was so, so lost!So for these last 3 years as im unemployed, I spend hours of a day reading my spiritual books, bible and trying to find the answers and how to get HP back again, its been a long hard road, only now am i starting to feel a glimpse again, after I have to surrender my AH to HIM this is so hard. It seems it is a day by day process. We have to let go, and let GOD! unconditional trust in HP. Once u let go, HP will be able to fill you with HIS light and love, the answers are there, we just have to be able to see things the way HP does!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 218
Hi Dirtmagnet,
I so hear where you're coming from - I have been feeling the same way in the last few weeks. Last night I literally went to sleep asking HP to throw me a bone. Nothing giant, just a small bone, anything at all. I finally lost it this afternoon (it's been bubbling up) and called a friend in the program. She was amazing. We hit our home group tonight and I told a member after the meeting that I had asked for my bone (we had just had a good laugh about my pity festival - today it rally has been a pity festival) and she said "maybe this is your bone."
Maybe it is. Maybe having people to call, or to share a laugh with - or even just to pick up the phone and listen patiently - is the bone. Everyone's bones come in different shapes and sizes - today I had people to reach out to who weren't in my life nine months ago - that feels like HP at work. I read your post and I relate - maybe that's HP at work, too.
Hugs,
SL
I so hear where you're coming from - I have been feeling the same way in the last few weeks. Last night I literally went to sleep asking HP to throw me a bone. Nothing giant, just a small bone, anything at all. I finally lost it this afternoon (it's been bubbling up) and called a friend in the program. She was amazing. We hit our home group tonight and I told a member after the meeting that I had asked for my bone (we had just had a good laugh about my pity festival - today it rally has been a pity festival) and she said "maybe this is your bone."
Maybe it is. Maybe having people to call, or to share a laugh with - or even just to pick up the phone and listen patiently - is the bone. Everyone's bones come in different shapes and sizes - today I had people to reach out to who weren't in my life nine months ago - that feels like HP at work. I read your post and I relate - maybe that's HP at work, too.
Hugs,
SL
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
Originally Posted by DirtMagnet
First of all, let me just say that although I am a spiritual person, I am not a religious one. I don't subscribe to the belief that there is just one way of understanding the divine.
I am going thru a really rough time right now. I have talked and talked and talked to God - begged, pleaded, ranted, whispered, cried, yelled. I get nothing in return. Quoting Beattie, "This child in us believes we are unlovable and will never find the comfort we are seeking....we may come to believe that people will never be there for us....even God seems to have gone away."
Someone in a different thread said that maybe God already answered my question and I didn't hear Him/Her, or that I am asking the wrong question. I just don't know. I need something solid - a burning bush, I guess. I realize that evidence of His/Her concern for regular folks will never be as concrete as that, but I just don't see or sense anything.
I'm fading fast in my belief that things will ever be OK. That I will be anywhere near normal. That anyone even cares about me enough to notice if got better anyway. I need a sign - something - anything.
I am going thru a really rough time right now. I have talked and talked and talked to God - begged, pleaded, ranted, whispered, cried, yelled. I get nothing in return. Quoting Beattie, "This child in us believes we are unlovable and will never find the comfort we are seeking....we may come to believe that people will never be there for us....even God seems to have gone away."
Someone in a different thread said that maybe God already answered my question and I didn't hear Him/Her, or that I am asking the wrong question. I just don't know. I need something solid - a burning bush, I guess. I realize that evidence of His/Her concern for regular folks will never be as concrete as that, but I just don't see or sense anything.
I'm fading fast in my belief that things will ever be OK. That I will be anywhere near normal. That anyone even cares about me enough to notice if got better anyway. I need a sign - something - anything.
- That I'm out of balance in the talking/listening axis (prayer/meditation in step 11 if you are a 12 stepper) - meaning that I'm doing more talking and not enough listening for my HP
- That my HP is stretching me, or causing me to exercise my faith, by being quiet so I will stop and spin down and take a look at things
- That I'm holding on to something that I need to let go of, such that my HP is doing 2) above - could be a resentment, an expectation, an outcome, a paradigm or model of how I think something should be, but isn't.
- That my focus in in the wrong place - I'm fixated on something that is not central, distracted by this, and not paying attention to a more central issue (Oftentimes this translates into that I'm fixated on a solution that I want, that is not reality based, and not willing to give it up for other possibilities)
On the bolded text in the quote: it may be helpful to take a look at how you are defining these things to yourself. If you are stuck in the wrong paradigm, or a paradigm that doesn't work, you will stay stuck until you shift paradigms. How do you define what "OK" will be for you? What do you want, for "normal?" Perhaps you are stuck because of your concepts of these, and they need to be examined.
Sending hugs and encouragement - these types of things are difficult to go through, and feel very lonely and desolate in the moment. Sometimes I think my HP lets me agonize in periods of desolation so that later I can really understand gratitude, that there is a Larger Plan, and I am indeed part of it, and needed and valued. That it isn't all about me, that I'm just a part of the Plan. But that I have intrinsic, and infinite value, because I do have a part in the Plan.
That's been my experience.
CLMI
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
What wise words, here. Today I am so completely grateful to my HP for the gift of all of you!
DM, I don't know how I would have managed without the kind folks here. But I didn't have to, because in just the perfect space and time they were here, all of them, when I needed them most. That's a miracle!
What a gift that you have a place to post your feelings and concerns. Your HP is taking really, really good care of you. And in the midst of taking care of you, all of us get to share of ourselves, be helped by what we read, and help the others who are reading this thread. Another miracle!
And all of us come from different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different kinds of family configurations, different political parties, different religious/spiritual systems. And we still support and understand each other, sending compassion and empathy and support through these little wires and wireless connections to reach out and create a community. If THAT isn't a miracle, I don't know what is! This kind of community-building is, to me, the emulation of the teachings of every wise prophet humans have ever known.
My mantra most days is, "Gratitude is the antidote to fear." When I get restless I go deeper when I'm able, and see that it's because I'm afraid that it will always feel/stay so painful. I've always been wrong, because my HP is taking care of me and ALL of us, and everything unfolds so perfectly that I can't help but live with the wonder of it all. I'm not saying it's always easy, or that I don't have difficult moments, but I don't stay in those feelings for long periods of time. I've taken to getting up in the morning and the first words to cross my lips are, "I wonder what amazing things will happen today...??!!"
I'm really glad you're here with us. Keep posting!
Hugs,
posie
DM, I don't know how I would have managed without the kind folks here. But I didn't have to, because in just the perfect space and time they were here, all of them, when I needed them most. That's a miracle!
What a gift that you have a place to post your feelings and concerns. Your HP is taking really, really good care of you. And in the midst of taking care of you, all of us get to share of ourselves, be helped by what we read, and help the others who are reading this thread. Another miracle!
And all of us come from different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different kinds of family configurations, different political parties, different religious/spiritual systems. And we still support and understand each other, sending compassion and empathy and support through these little wires and wireless connections to reach out and create a community. If THAT isn't a miracle, I don't know what is! This kind of community-building is, to me, the emulation of the teachings of every wise prophet humans have ever known.
My mantra most days is, "Gratitude is the antidote to fear." When I get restless I go deeper when I'm able, and see that it's because I'm afraid that it will always feel/stay so painful. I've always been wrong, because my HP is taking care of me and ALL of us, and everything unfolds so perfectly that I can't help but live with the wonder of it all. I'm not saying it's always easy, or that I don't have difficult moments, but I don't stay in those feelings for long periods of time. I've taken to getting up in the morning and the first words to cross my lips are, "I wonder what amazing things will happen today...??!!"
I'm really glad you're here with us. Keep posting!
Hugs,
posie
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Somedays I just refuse to give into the thoughts in my head that the God of my understanding isn't hearing/listening/answering me . . .
I won't allow those voices in "Ritaville" talk to me that way any longer . . . I continue to tell myself that the God of my understanding LOVES me unconditionally and wants HIS best for me - even if I can't see it, feel it or touch it.
Someday I will come thru the storm, drought, or battle and either way together MY God and I will be OK - even better than OK!!!
I continually remind myself this - In Fact typing this was a good reminder to ME today as I face today's challenges ~
That's how I face what seems to be the quiet times in my walk -
I fake it til I make it - I act as if - I claim something that my head knows but my gut really doesn't feel yet.
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity) to you,
Rita
I won't allow those voices in "Ritaville" talk to me that way any longer . . . I continue to tell myself that the God of my understanding LOVES me unconditionally and wants HIS best for me - even if I can't see it, feel it or touch it.
Someday I will come thru the storm, drought, or battle and either way together MY God and I will be OK - even better than OK!!!
I continually remind myself this - In Fact typing this was a good reminder to ME today as I face today's challenges ~
That's how I face what seems to be the quiet times in my walk -
I fake it til I make it - I act as if - I claim something that my head knows but my gut really doesn't feel yet.
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity) to you,
Rita
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