loveon2legs

Hi everyone!! 5 months for me tomorrow!! I'm so pleased with how my recovery is going... however.....my Husband continues to drink heavily sometimes once a week..sometimes everyday...tonight he came home drunk...he was late...planned a bbq..that didn't happen...I just looked at him and said how can you do this?? and I left the house...for a few hours,long enough to know he would be asleep....

I was straight up with him when I stopped drinking...I let him know what the boundaries were.... and he keeps stepping over them.....I'm at the end of my rope here....his drinking could affect my sobriety.....and I'm not willing to allow that to happen..... my sobriety means everything to me... Anybody been here...done that??

Thanks xo

Jenny1232

Well congratulations on your sobriety! I can't relate in the sense of leaving my boyfriend to protect my sobriety, but when I quit smoking pot and drinking, I eliminated toxic people from my life. That essentially meant, I left EVERYONE behind that I had grown up with. It's tough, but in the end, I'm very happy with my decision! I look at where I am.. and where they are.. and they're idol.

You are in the process of growth, and these people will only drag you down. Just my experience!

Keep it up and kudos to you!

Learn2Live

Yes. EVERY time I have relapsed it has been to "have fun" with a man. They were not my husband, they were potential husbands who did not know, did not understand, or did not care.how important my sobriety was. I think many of us have that problem aftrr we get sober. I am no longer with any of them but I am with a sober man.

stella27

You already realize, don't you, that you've got to keep on putting yourself and your recovery FIRST. Good for you.

smacked

If you don't mind me asking.. what are your boundaries and are you following through with them?

I could not be in a friendship, much less a marriage with an active addict. My sobriety is life or death, and I'll do anything to protect it.

loveon2legs

Thank you everyone for your support....xo Smacked, I have let him know I would like no alcohol in the house..no drinking and driving...and not to come home drunk...or I leave... period..which I did last night... I talked briefly with him this morning and I told him that his getting drunk effects my sobriety...and he looked at me and said.."I don't make you drink" I could have screamed!! he just doesn't seem to get it or doesn't care enough to get it.... I know that I care enough about me now...to honestly do something about it...like leave for good if necessary... ugggg I hate this!!!

Freedom1990

For my own sanity/safety/sobriety, I had to walk away from my EXAH.

My sobriety is first and foremost in my life, period.

No one is worth losing my hard-earned recovery over.

loveon2legs

Yes, it's my husbands choice to drink..and it's my choice not too...and my choice not to be involved in it... either he gets it or he doesn't....and I can't see me around long if things continue the way they are... time to start planning.....

ANEWAUGUST

Hi there....

I am sober, but, my husband does drink.

Early in my sobriety it drove me absolutely CRAZY!!!!!

AA has saved my soul and my sanity. I had so much work to do on myself at first including recognizing that I choose to stay with a spouse who drinks (not an alcoholic..still gets tipsy though).

The more I peel away the layers of my life and expose it to the sunlight, the more I am able to look at my spouse in another light. I chose to stop drinking, he did not. At some point I realized I had expectations about his behavior. I expected his behavior to change because my behavior had changed.

That became a resentment, that can lead me to drink again.

Al-Anon helped me to remember that I can't control, people, places or things. I also can't contol his drinking.

I am powerless of alcohol, his, mine, and anyones.

It has taken time to see that I can stay in this marriage and stay sober.

Taking5

FWIW ladies, this is not an exclusively female thing. I relapsed a few times in the company of a woman that wanted to drink. I don't do that anymore, on my first date with a woman I tell her all about me being in AA and if she wants to get hammered to do it without me. I probably missed out on a few dates doing this but I have been sober for almost 2 years now and I cannot allow anything to interfere with that.