My heart just stopped beating...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
My heart just stopped beating...
I can't breathe.. I was reviewing all of my prior posts and my phone went off...
Text message from: ****
It was a picture. He's such a friggin idiot.
Not too long ago, he's making out with ****, telling me how much he hates me....
Now, he sent me a beautiful picture of us saying, "Of course I loved you Jenny. You know I did. It's just done now and I never wanted all this hurt. I wish you the best".
I can hardly breath...
I'm not responding. I'm not responding. I'm not responding.
Text message from: ****
It was a picture. He's such a friggin idiot.
Not too long ago, he's making out with ****, telling me how much he hates me....
Now, he sent me a beautiful picture of us saying, "Of course I loved you Jenny. You know I did. It's just done now and I never wanted all this hurt. I wish you the best".
I can hardly breath...
I'm not responding. I'm not responding. I'm not responding.
Last edited by greeteachday; 06-23-2010 at 08:03 PM. Reason: offensive and insulting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
DELETE.
and quit dramatizing!!! your heart IS beating, you ARE breathing....you just got an annoying spam message from some weirdo.
talk to your service provider about blocking his number entirely. tell them you've been getting harrassing phone calls.
it's just a stupid phone Jenny........
and quit dramatizing!!! your heart IS beating, you ARE breathing....you just got an annoying spam message from some weirdo.
talk to your service provider about blocking his number entirely. tell them you've been getting harrassing phone calls.
it's just a stupid phone Jenny........
Alright, well anxiety got the best of me. It was HARD to breath, okay.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I'm not responding. I'm not responding. I'm not responding.
Responding to that psychopath could be construed as meaning you are crazier than him.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by wanting
It's hard for me to continue reading when I see homophobic slurs. I'm actually surprised at what words get censored here and what words don't.
Wanting,
I too am very turned off by the homophobic slurs. I kind of stopped reading right there.
Thank you for pointing this out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Originally Posted by wanting
It's hard for me to continue reading when I see homophobic slurs. I'm actually surprised at what words get censored here and what words don't.
A Pirate looks at 40
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
Posts: 264
Originally Posted by Jenny1232
I can't breathe.. I was reviewing all of my prior posts and my phone went off...
Text message from: ****
It was a picture. He's such a friggin idiot.
Not too long ago, he's making out with ****, telling me how much he hates me....
Now, he sent me a beautiful picture of us saying, "Of course I loved you Jenny. You know I did. It's just done now and I never wanted all this hurt. I wish you the best".
I can hardly breath...
I'm not responding. I'm not responding. I'm not responding.
Text message from: ****
It was a picture. He's such a friggin idiot.
Not too long ago, he's making out with ****, telling me how much he hates me....
Now, he sent me a beautiful picture of us saying, "Of course I loved you Jenny. You know I did. It's just done now and I never wanted all this hurt. I wish you the best".
I can hardly breath...
I'm not responding. I'm not responding. I'm not responding.
Ding bat go get some frozan Yoga and buy you some new shoes! LOL
Last edited by greeteachday; 06-23-2010 at 08:14 PM. Reason: quotes offensive langauge
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Fag is English, as in British, for cigarette. It is not a bad word at all in the UK. It is unreasonable to expect the software to censor this word, IMHO.
How do you think the OP should have posted it? As it was received or should she self-censor it and if so how?
Not trying to start anything here, just genuinely interested.
How do you think the OP should have posted it? As it was received or should she self-censor it and if so how?
Not trying to start anything here, just genuinely interested.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 534
It looks to me from the OP that she changed her X's name in her phone to read "****." That, and she keeps referring to this "***" that her X made out with. I'm not hoping to shun the OP, and I hope she doesn't take it that way. The language just offends me, and I made a decision long ago to speak up when I see homophobia or racism. The words are akin to the "N" word, maybe not with such a long history of oppression, but still akin. We also have plenty of homosexual users here who may be triggered by those terms.
When I changed H's name in my phone, I changed it to "Manipulation" because I wanted to remind myself that if I answered the phone, I would likely be manipulated. For a while, I changed it to "More Pain" because that's what I'd get when I answered the phone. I understand the anger at the X. Some people change the name to "A$$hole" or something equivalent. "Fag" has nothing to do with anything that he dishes out. And about the "d**e" thing - does it really matter what this person's sexual preference is? Again, I understand the anger. I called the the OW lots of things, like "homewrecker" and some other names along those lines.
Offensive words aside, let's talk about the anger behind the words. Why do you use these words to describe your X and this OW? Are you using anger and hate to avoid dealing with the fact that you're really really hurt and devastated? Are you positioning yourself in a superior position to these people to avoid dealing with the fact that you feel like you aren't good enough? What is going on here?
When I changed H's name in my phone, I changed it to "Manipulation" because I wanted to remind myself that if I answered the phone, I would likely be manipulated. For a while, I changed it to "More Pain" because that's what I'd get when I answered the phone. I understand the anger at the X. Some people change the name to "A$$hole" or something equivalent. "Fag" has nothing to do with anything that he dishes out. And about the "d**e" thing - does it really matter what this person's sexual preference is? Again, I understand the anger. I called the the OW lots of things, like "homewrecker" and some other names along those lines.
Offensive words aside, let's talk about the anger behind the words. Why do you use these words to describe your X and this OW? Are you using anger and hate to avoid dealing with the fact that you're really really hurt and devastated? Are you positioning yourself in a superior position to these people to avoid dealing with the fact that you feel like you aren't good enough? What is going on here?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 125
Hi Jenny!
To my dismay, I found out that I can block phone numbers, but not text messages from my cell!
So, you just have to be strong when you get messages from this guy. (Or change your number.)
Here's a nice routine you can follow:
1) Check for your pulse.
2) Take a deep breath just to make sure.
3) Say, "What a freak."
4) Change his name to "Silly Text Of The Day:"
5) Chant, "I will not respond, I will not respond, I will not respond".
After doing this three times to five times, then replace #5 with:
5) Chant, "I will not respond, I will not...oh please, I'm not going to respond to that freak."
Before you know it, you'll be able to just skip down to the revised #5.
What are some other funny names you gave rename him? (I think mean names are too angry and take these guys so seriously. I mean, yes, the pain we experience is serious, but adding humor helps me a lot.)
I gave my Xabf a funny ringer. It sounds kind of like the Twilight Zone music. He's since called me once and when I heard it, I started laughing. It just tickled me that he thought he had something serious to say to me (as if I should take him seriously after he's used me, chastised me, soiled my bathroom floor in a drunken stupor, etc), and his ringer was some weird computer noises that sounded like he Mars calling.
The maniac. I think I'll change his name from his initials to something that will crack me up.
Ding-a Ling
Bing-Bong
Bada-Bing
Encyclopedia Brown
Twilight Zone Calling
Freak-a-Zoid
Lobster from Long John Silver's...
(My ex used to work as a waiter in only fine dining establishments. So, when my devilishly sarcastic office hubby asked me if my X was at home putting on his lobster uniform to stand outside of Long John Silver's, I refused to laugh although it was pretty darn funny. Now, I can laugh. Before, I was too sensitive to his being a waiter at the "finer" restaurants and was protective of his being ridiculed by friends because he chose to be a waiter with 2 Master's Degrees, rather than being able to just laugh at a funny jab.)
Now, that I've made myself laugh, I'm going to bed.
Good night, everyone!
R.
To my dismay, I found out that I can block phone numbers, but not text messages from my cell!
So, you just have to be strong when you get messages from this guy. (Or change your number.)
Here's a nice routine you can follow:
1) Check for your pulse.
2) Take a deep breath just to make sure.
3) Say, "What a freak."
4) Change his name to "Silly Text Of The Day:"
5) Chant, "I will not respond, I will not respond, I will not respond".
After doing this three times to five times, then replace #5 with:
5) Chant, "I will not respond, I will not...oh please, I'm not going to respond to that freak."
Before you know it, you'll be able to just skip down to the revised #5.
What are some other funny names you gave rename him? (I think mean names are too angry and take these guys so seriously. I mean, yes, the pain we experience is serious, but adding humor helps me a lot.)
I gave my Xabf a funny ringer. It sounds kind of like the Twilight Zone music. He's since called me once and when I heard it, I started laughing. It just tickled me that he thought he had something serious to say to me (as if I should take him seriously after he's used me, chastised me, soiled my bathroom floor in a drunken stupor, etc), and his ringer was some weird computer noises that sounded like he Mars calling.
The maniac. I think I'll change his name from his initials to something that will crack me up.
Ding-a Ling
Bing-Bong
Bada-Bing
Encyclopedia Brown
Twilight Zone Calling
Freak-a-Zoid
Lobster from Long John Silver's...
(My ex used to work as a waiter in only fine dining establishments. So, when my devilishly sarcastic office hubby asked me if my X was at home putting on his lobster uniform to stand outside of Long John Silver's, I refused to laugh although it was pretty darn funny. Now, I can laugh. Before, I was too sensitive to his being a waiter at the "finer" restaurants and was protective of his being ridiculed by friends because he chose to be a waiter with 2 Master's Degrees, rather than being able to just laugh at a funny jab.)
Now, that I've made myself laugh, I'm going to bed.
Good night, everyone!
R.
A Pirate looks at 40
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
Posts: 264
Last edited by Dee74; 06-23-2010 at 08:30 PM. Reason: sticking with the theme
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I have edited the offensive language so no need for more discussion there. If there is no more to discuss regarding the post, less the offensive language, we can close the thread.
Please try to consider language used in an open forum. What may be said in anger against one individual can be hurtful to many others. We work hard as volunteers to keep SR safe and comfortable for everyone. Please help us by thinking before hitting submit.
GreetEachDay
Administrator
Please try to consider language used in an open forum. What may be said in anger against one individual can be hurtful to many others. We work hard as volunteers to keep SR safe and comfortable for everyone. Please help us by thinking before hitting submit.
GreetEachDay
Administrator
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
***I meant to take out the work ****. I'm bisexual myself, so it has nothing to do with that. The only reason I referred to her as that, is because when his sister was ranting on (and I was listening) she kept calling her a ****... so **** is what stuck with me. I have absolutely NO problems with others sexuality. I was trying to go back and change it, but had to leave work, and didn't get the chance.
Last edited by Ann; 06-24-2010 at 06:07 AM. Reason: Offensive language...again...after a warning/request
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
I'm very sorry for offending others. I just finished reading everything. I was in a hurry when I wrote this thread, and I honestly meant to go back and change it. I call everyone a "F-G" but, I don't mean it in a homosexual way.. I guess my definition of that is more like, "idiot" as it has noting to do with sexual preference when I say it in that regard. I myself don't like the word, when used to describe a "gay man".
Again, I'm sorry for upsetting others. When I got the message I had a couple of minutes left at work, and my heart was pounding, my thoughts were skewed, I couldn't think straight... so I just typed here really quick to keep away from my phone. He was looking for a reaction - but he never got it. I never responded, which is probably in part to holding myself accountable here.
"Offensive words aside, let's talk about the anger behind the words. Why do you use these words to describe your X and this OW? Are you using anger and hate to avoid dealing with the fact that you're really really hurt and devastated? Are you positioning yourself in a superior position to these people to avoid dealing with the fact that you feel like you aren't good enough? What is going on here?"
Yes, I am using anger to cover up my pain. I never really thought about putting myself in a "superior" position, but now that you mention it - it's probably what I'm doing. I could always change his name back to, 'Ted Bundy' as it once was. Is that too offensive? Now I feel really bad... I'm sorry
Again, I'm sorry for upsetting others. When I got the message I had a couple of minutes left at work, and my heart was pounding, my thoughts were skewed, I couldn't think straight... so I just typed here really quick to keep away from my phone. He was looking for a reaction - but he never got it. I never responded, which is probably in part to holding myself accountable here.
"Offensive words aside, let's talk about the anger behind the words. Why do you use these words to describe your X and this OW? Are you using anger and hate to avoid dealing with the fact that you're really really hurt and devastated? Are you positioning yourself in a superior position to these people to avoid dealing with the fact that you feel like you aren't good enough? What is going on here?"
Yes, I am using anger to cover up my pain. I never really thought about putting myself in a "superior" position, but now that you mention it - it's probably what I'm doing. I could always change his name back to, 'Ted Bundy' as it once was. Is that too offensive? Now I feel really bad... I'm sorry
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Good morning Jenny,
Here's the really great news: you didn't react to him! Congratulations, you are well on your way to embracing your life in a whole new way. Wow. Give yourself a pat on the back for that!
Regarding the terminology issue, as you might know I recently "came out" on this board after hiding that aspect of myself for fear of rejection/lack of support. It's a terrible place, to live in fear. For a long time I believed that I couldn't risk anyone here judging me because I needed the support and a part of me couldn't imagine that I could be who I am, and still have the support. I was wrong.
Overall I'm stronger in who I am now, and as is sometimes the case in life, support comes most from those you didn't expect it from, and sometimes not at all from those you thought would be there. But none of that has anything to do with me, personally.
What came up for me with your post is that, if I had read it in my more "fragile" state (before coming out on this forum) it may well have stopped me from making that choice to come out on here right now. However, on the "up" side, the responses to your post to advocate acceptance and awareness of the language we choose to use, and your subsequent responses this morning, would have paved the way with even more determination for me to come out.
So, see? It's all good. We all learn from each other. I really enjoyed Ready's post about ring tones/names that were funny and upbeat. I find that when I consider all of my options for a situation, laughter (and gratitude) are the very best antidotes for absolutely everything.
Breathe, and thanks for your post. Remember, learning is a good thing, and we can all learn from this dialogue. And you are making a new life for yourself by defining your world away from your ex!
And thank you to everyone for the thoughtful responses of advocacy and support.
Appreciatively,
posie
Here's the really great news: you didn't react to him! Congratulations, you are well on your way to embracing your life in a whole new way. Wow. Give yourself a pat on the back for that!
Regarding the terminology issue, as you might know I recently "came out" on this board after hiding that aspect of myself for fear of rejection/lack of support. It's a terrible place, to live in fear. For a long time I believed that I couldn't risk anyone here judging me because I needed the support and a part of me couldn't imagine that I could be who I am, and still have the support. I was wrong.
Overall I'm stronger in who I am now, and as is sometimes the case in life, support comes most from those you didn't expect it from, and sometimes not at all from those you thought would be there. But none of that has anything to do with me, personally.
What came up for me with your post is that, if I had read it in my more "fragile" state (before coming out on this forum) it may well have stopped me from making that choice to come out on here right now. However, on the "up" side, the responses to your post to advocate acceptance and awareness of the language we choose to use, and your subsequent responses this morning, would have paved the way with even more determination for me to come out.
So, see? It's all good. We all learn from each other. I really enjoyed Ready's post about ring tones/names that were funny and upbeat. I find that when I consider all of my options for a situation, laughter (and gratitude) are the very best antidotes for absolutely everything.
Breathe, and thanks for your post. Remember, learning is a good thing, and we can all learn from this dialogue. And you are making a new life for yourself by defining your world away from your ex!
And thank you to everyone for the thoughtful responses of advocacy and support.
Appreciatively,
posie
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
