A thought on Father's Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 103
A thought on Father's Day
As I try to extricate myself from yet another dysfunctional relationship with the man in my life, I can't help think about my father.
Or should I say how my father and my mother were never around to help me, to guide me or even to be present to show they care.
I think this could be a reason why I seek out and stay in bad relationships.
I never had someone tell me when I was young to expect the best from life, to expect others to treat your body, your mind and your heart with dignity and respect.
When I think of my daughter and how would I respond if she came to me with a troubles that mirrored my own, I would tell her that she deserved better. There is no way that I would wish this life on her or on anyone else.
I wonder how different my life would have been if I had parents who made me believe in myself. Would I then have made the same choices? Who knows???
But, today, right here in this forum, I am getting the support and caring that I really needed so many years ago....
Better late than never!
Or should I say how my father and my mother were never around to help me, to guide me or even to be present to show they care.
I think this could be a reason why I seek out and stay in bad relationships.
I never had someone tell me when I was young to expect the best from life, to expect others to treat your body, your mind and your heart with dignity and respect.
When I think of my daughter and how would I respond if she came to me with a troubles that mirrored my own, I would tell her that she deserved better. There is no way that I would wish this life on her or on anyone else.
I wonder how different my life would have been if I had parents who made me believe in myself. Would I then have made the same choices? Who knows???
But, today, right here in this forum, I am getting the support and caring that I really needed so many years ago....
Better late than never!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 103
Oh Anvilhead!
For the past several weeks as I struggled with the demise of my relationship with my XABF, I stumbled upon SR and began reading late one night.
Several members, including yourself, were key to helping me see things more clearly, giving me strength to make changes and the courage to post my thoughts on-line for the very first time.
I am grateful.
Several members, including yourself, were key to helping me see things more clearly, giving me strength to make changes and the courage to post my thoughts on-line for the very first time.
I am grateful.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by groybin 
As I try to extricate myself from yet another dysfunctional relationship with the man in my life, I can't help think about my father.
Or should I say how my father and my mother were never around to help me, to guide me or even to be present to show they care.
I think this could be a reason why I seek out and stay in bad relationships.
I never had someone tell me when I was young to expect the best from life, to expect others to treat your body, your mind and your heart with dignity and respect.
When I think of my daughter and how would I respond if she came to me with a troubles that mirrored my own, I would tell her that she deserved better. There is no way that I would wish this life on her or on anyone else.
Or should I say how my father and my mother were never around to help me, to guide me or even to be present to show they care.
I think this could be a reason why I seek out and stay in bad relationships.
I never had someone tell me when I was young to expect the best from life, to expect others to treat your body, your mind and your heart with dignity and respect.
When I think of my daughter and how would I respond if she came to me with a troubles that mirrored my own, I would tell her that she deserved better. There is no way that I would wish this life on her or on anyone else.
I am the child of a single mom - dad left her when she was pregnant, he didn't want me in his life.
My mother was the daughter of an alcoholic father. She knows the pain that caused. When I called her to fill her in on my breakup, and now XABF's drinking contributed to my unhappiness and the demise of our relationship, she basically said things like, "How terrible."
Not once did she, nor has she ever, said something to me like, "You deserve better than this."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 103
Gingercharlie..
your mom and my mom sounds a lot alike... my mom's response to crisis in my life is to blame me somehow for it. I was sexually abused as a child by my grandfather and my parents allowed it to happen by ignoring it, despite the bruises and constant infections.
Even as an adult now, she refuses to take any responsibility or show remorse.
your mom and my mom sounds a lot alike... my mom's response to crisis in my life is to blame me somehow for it. I was sexually abused as a child by my grandfather and my parents allowed it to happen by ignoring it, despite the bruises and constant infections.
Even as an adult now, she refuses to take any responsibility or show remorse.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
