I need to talk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I need to talk
I'm stressed to the max with my summer classes, my heart is heavy about some things, my degenerative disc disease is getting worse, I have a backache/migraine from hell, and to be honest, I don't know whether to cry, sh*t, dance, or call the loony bin. I don't even know where to start. Seriously.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Dancing sounds like a good plan. I'm not trying to make light of your situation...but it does sound like you are in desperate need to take a break and do something for yourself. Maybe taking a break is not realistic for you with so much going on. So, what is? A long, hot bath? A phone call to a trusted friend?
Nothing wrong with crying either.
Remember - you and your peace of mind/sanity/health are worth more than anything. Listen to your body.
I'm here....and others are too....keep talking.
Nothing wrong with crying either.
Remember - you and your peace of mind/sanity/health are worth more than anything. Listen to your body.
I'm here....and others are too....keep talking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
me too.
My advice is to do whatever helps with the migraine. Those are miserable and I hope you can get some relief.
A close friend was killed at age 39 one week ago tonight. She is the mother to 2 little girls and a sweet husband. I have grieved all week, but tonight I am coming undone with her loss and it is bringing up all the other recent losses (my marriage, my intact family).
We can weep together. ((hugs))
My advice is to do whatever helps with the migraine. Those are miserable and I hope you can get some relief. A close friend was killed at age 39 one week ago tonight. She is the mother to 2 little girls and a sweet husband. I have grieved all week, but tonight I am coming undone with her loss and it is bringing up all the other recent losses (my marriage, my intact family).
We can weep together. ((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I agree! Time to put some things on the back burner and get some good perspective. I've been burning the candle myself at both ends and have had some real stress on the homefront big time the last three weeks.
I got to a similar breaking point.
I decided I had no choice, I had to escape for my health.
I shut off the computer, shut off the phone, put on some headphones with nothing but distant ocean surf sounds. I got in a lavender scented bath and spent an hour painting my toenails (haven't done that in a decade).
I came out reminded the world could handle some time without my constant involvement. I was relaxed, refreshed, renewed, and I could take my time getting back to business as usual.
Please look after you. We want you here with us healthy and sane.
Alice
I got to a similar breaking point.
I decided I had no choice, I had to escape for my health.
I shut off the computer, shut off the phone, put on some headphones with nothing but distant ocean surf sounds. I got in a lavender scented bath and spent an hour painting my toenails (haven't done that in a decade).
I came out reminded the world could handle some time without my constant involvement. I was relaxed, refreshed, renewed, and I could take my time getting back to business as usual.
Please look after you. We want you here with us healthy and sane.
Alice
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice 
I agree! Time to put some things on the back burner and get some good perspective. I've been burning the candle myself at both ends and have had some real stress on the homefront big time the last three weeks.
I got to a similar breaking point.
I decided I had no choice, I had to escape for my health.
I shut off the computer, shut off the phone, put on some headphones with nothing but distant ocean surf sounds. I got in a lavender scented bath and spent an hour painting my toenails (haven't done that in a decade).
I came out reminded the world could handle some time without my constant involvement. I was relaxed, refreshed, renewed, and I could take my time getting back to business as usual.
Please look after you. We want you here with us healthy and sane.
Alice
I got to a similar breaking point.
I decided I had no choice, I had to escape for my health.
I shut off the computer, shut off the phone, put on some headphones with nothing but distant ocean surf sounds. I got in a lavender scented bath and spent an hour painting my toenails (haven't done that in a decade).
I came out reminded the world could handle some time without my constant involvement. I was relaxed, refreshed, renewed, and I could take my time getting back to business as usual.
Please look after you. We want you here with us healthy and sane.
Alice
Taking care of ourselves is job #1.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Oh Von, I am so sorry you are in the doldrums, and so wish I could just pop around and give you a massage and hypnotherapy stress release session.
Unless "Dorothy" blows thru North Queensland over here in Aussie, it would be a looooooooong way for me to "pop.
Something I love, and do so miss here in this unit....is NO bath, so no relaxing soak.
To begin with, do you have any lavender oil? If so, gently rub at the temples for a while and then on forhead above bridge of your nose. I do this sitting in my recliner, and as the headache or stress goes, I sink comfortably into my seat, often dozing off to sleep.
I hesitate to ask when, if ever you can get away from the humdrum of study, work and running after your furry ones, just to refil your energy and peace levels. If you can, even for a few hours....please do so, concentrate on you and let the world worry whether it turns or not while you relax.
Keep on here as no doubt you will have oodles of ideas from the gang.
God bless my dear
Unless "Dorothy" blows thru North Queensland over here in Aussie, it would be a looooooooong way for me to "pop.
Something I love, and do so miss here in this unit....is NO bath, so no relaxing soak.
To begin with, do you have any lavender oil? If so, gently rub at the temples for a while and then on forhead above bridge of your nose. I do this sitting in my recliner, and as the headache or stress goes, I sink comfortably into my seat, often dozing off to sleep.
I hesitate to ask when, if ever you can get away from the humdrum of study, work and running after your furry ones, just to refil your energy and peace levels. If you can, even for a few hours....please do so, concentrate on you and let the world worry whether it turns or not while you relax.
Keep on here as no doubt you will have oodles of ideas from the gang.
God bless my dear
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Aww Freedom... Hope you're feeling better soon... ((hugs))
I thought this might help a bit...
WE LOVE YOU!
I thought this might help a bit...
Reach for Your Star...
Do not take anything as being forever,
because forever is only as long as today.
Know that the people who are the richest
are not those who have the most,
but those who need the least.
That we are at our strongest when life
is at its worst,
and at our weakest when life no longer
offers a challenge.
That it is wiser not to expect, but to hope,
for in expecting you ask for disappointment,
whereas in hoping you invite surprise.
That unhappiness doesn't come from
not having something you want,
but from the lack of something inside
that you need.
That there are things to hold and things
to let go,
and letting go doesn't mean you lose,
but that you acquire that which
has been waiting around the corner.
Most of all...
remember to use your dreams as a
way of knowing yourself better,
and as an inspiration to reach for your star.
- Nancye Sims
Do not take anything as being forever,
because forever is only as long as today.
Know that the people who are the richest
are not those who have the most,
but those who need the least.
That we are at our strongest when life
is at its worst,
and at our weakest when life no longer
offers a challenge.
That it is wiser not to expect, but to hope,
for in expecting you ask for disappointment,
whereas in hoping you invite surprise.
That unhappiness doesn't come from
not having something you want,
but from the lack of something inside
that you need.
That there are things to hold and things
to let go,
and letting go doesn't mean you lose,
but that you acquire that which
has been waiting around the corner.
Most of all...
remember to use your dreams as a
way of knowing yourself better,
and as an inspiration to reach for your star.
- Nancye Sims
WE LOVE YOU!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Stella, I'm so sorry for your loss!
The school books are put away for the night. As for the hot soak, I've still got my central air running because it's 85 degrees out!
I'll be gone for several hours tomorrow, early Father's Day celebration. We're eating steak and going to see the new Karate Kid movie.
Unfortunately Amber stepped over one of my boundaries Wednesday at my house and I slapped her hand, figuratively speaking.
So she hasn't spoken to me since Wednesday when she stormed out of the house. She and her ABF will be there tomorrow too.
I'm really going to try hard and enjoy it.
It just hurts when she quits talking to me. Ugh.
The school books are put away for the night. As for the hot soak, I've still got my central air running because it's 85 degrees out!
I'll be gone for several hours tomorrow, early Father's Day celebration. We're eating steak and going to see the new Karate Kid movie.
Unfortunately Amber stepped over one of my boundaries Wednesday at my house and I slapped her hand, figuratively speaking.
So she hasn't spoken to me since Wednesday when she stormed out of the house. She and her ABF will be there tomorrow too.
I'm really going to try hard and enjoy it.
It just hurts when she quits talking to me. Ugh.
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
I'm stressed to the max with my summer classes, my heart is heavy about some things, my degenerative disc disease is getting worse, I have a backache/migraine from hell, and to be honest, I don't know whether to cry, sh*t, dance, or call the loony bin. I don't even know where to start. Seriously.
When you'd shared a while back about your summer class load, I remember thinking, WTF, is she CRAZY? Apparently so. J/K! Can you drop a class or two, what's your hurry?
If you dropped a class, you could spend that time at the gym. I have three herniated disks in my lower back. There's this lower back extension machine at most places, it only focuses on the lower back. Been doing it for almost two years now, and the now-strong muscles have kind of isolated/supported the discs and 80% of my pain is GONE.
I highly recommend progressive resistance exercises.
Also, this:
Enjoying a Snail's Pace
Doing Things Slowly
Life can often feel like it’s zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal.
Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the “fast forward” stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive.
Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be.
I have this gem saved on my desk top, I refer back to almost daily. I have to make a conscious effort to S-L-O-W D-O-W-N. It's made a tremendous difference in my quality of life.
When our time becomes short and we're reflecting back over our lives, I can almost guarantee no one will be saying, "Damn it, wish I'd taken more summer classes." Come on Devon!
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Freedom,
I hope you will just feel free to blab on and on here, if that strikes you as something to do. I know it's therapuetic for me, just to feel that others are listening, and that they care.
I don't have any advice! But I wanted you to know I hear you.
(And my daughter SCREAMED at me on the phone this morning which is really out of character - it scares the poop outta me cuz it makes me feel like things may be escalating with her)
I hope you will just feel free to blab on and on here, if that strikes you as something to do. I know it's therapuetic for me, just to feel that others are listening, and that they care.
I don't have any advice! But I wanted you to know I hear you.
(And my daughter SCREAMED at me on the phone this morning which is really out of character - it scares the poop outta me cuz it makes me feel like things may be escalating with her)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by coyote21
When you'd shared a while back about your summer class load, I remember thinking, WTF, is she CRAZY? Apparently so. J/K! Can you drop a class or two, what's your hurry?
I'll be done with college in December. I think I have 4 classes this fall, plus my clinicals (90 hours total on site).
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
DeVon,
What are you doing to keep yourself aware on a daily basis of what YOU need for your peace and your serenity? I have this problem too, where I forget to take time out for me each day and it builds up over time to the point where it is all too much. Can you plan into your day something like maybe five minutes quiet time at the end of the day with earplugs in your ears, the A/C blasting, and a magazine to read or book to take your mind off things?
I don't know where your degenerative discs are located but mine are in my neck. One thing I learned after 15 years of going to college was that the way you hold your book aggravates the spinal disease in the neck and gives you that severe pain and headache. So, if the disease is in your neck, don't hold your head down to read. Bring the book up so that your neck is not bent. (Think about a jeweler who always has his head bent over to examine jewels. You don't want to do that. In fact, herniated discs in the neck are referred to as "jewelers' disease" for this very reason). You can get a book stand or prop up the book on a pillow to bring it closer to eye level. Also, if you smoke, STOP. Smoking makes degenerative spinal disease MUCH WORSE.
Also, regarding migraine, my old roomie was a physician and he taught me this trick: As soon as you get one, take two aspirin and quickly drink one caffeinated coke. Stay in the dark.
Hope you are feeling better today.
What are you doing to keep yourself aware on a daily basis of what YOU need for your peace and your serenity? I have this problem too, where I forget to take time out for me each day and it builds up over time to the point where it is all too much. Can you plan into your day something like maybe five minutes quiet time at the end of the day with earplugs in your ears, the A/C blasting, and a magazine to read or book to take your mind off things?
I don't know where your degenerative discs are located but mine are in my neck. One thing I learned after 15 years of going to college was that the way you hold your book aggravates the spinal disease in the neck and gives you that severe pain and headache. So, if the disease is in your neck, don't hold your head down to read. Bring the book up so that your neck is not bent. (Think about a jeweler who always has his head bent over to examine jewels. You don't want to do that. In fact, herniated discs in the neck are referred to as "jewelers' disease" for this very reason). You can get a book stand or prop up the book on a pillow to bring it closer to eye level. Also, if you smoke, STOP. Smoking makes degenerative spinal disease MUCH WORSE.
Also, regarding migraine, my old roomie was a physician and he taught me this trick: As soon as you get one, take two aspirin and quickly drink one caffeinated coke. Stay in the dark.
Hope you are feeling better today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Hey L2L, I really do make it a point to get my cup of coffee in the mornings, sit, relax, do my morning readings, and meditate a bit. I'm also making it a point to just sit outside in a chair with the dogs and take in the fresh air several times a day instead of rushing them through potty break and right back inside.
My disc disease is in the lumbar area, and I have pillows, plus an orthopedic cushion (it's pretty well shot after 5 years) I sit on. My monitor is up on books to bring it to my eye level (I'm 6' tall), and when I read, I lean my chair back, and hold my book up on my knees so I'm not looking down like if the book was on my desk.
The hardest part is taking notes, but I concentrate on keeping my back straight and bending at the waist so I'm not bending my neck down so much while I'm writing.
I battle with cigarettes every day, but I have Nicorette gum and am going to give that a try. My sponsor actually quit smoking a couple of years ago due to health issues after lung surgery, so he will be a good source of support for me in that area.
My disc disease is in the lumbar area, and I have pillows, plus an orthopedic cushion (it's pretty well shot after 5 years) I sit on. My monitor is up on books to bring it to my eye level (I'm 6' tall), and when I read, I lean my chair back, and hold my book up on my knees so I'm not looking down like if the book was on my desk.
The hardest part is taking notes, but I concentrate on keeping my back straight and bending at the waist so I'm not bending my neck down so much while I'm writing.
I battle with cigarettes every day, but I have Nicorette gum and am going to give that a try. My sponsor actually quit smoking a couple of years ago due to health issues after lung surgery, so he will be a good source of support for me in that area.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
Dear Freedom, Good for you for going after what you want in your life!
Sometimes when I am overwhelmed, I light a candle and pray - especially when it is emotional stress from a fight or something like that. By "sending blessings" to me, the other person and the situation, it allows me to let go and let God a little bit more in something that is so personal and important to me.
Sending blessings your way!
On a more concrete note - yoga? a dvd or a class?
Sometimes when I am overwhelmed, I light a candle and pray - especially when it is emotional stress from a fight or something like that. By "sending blessings" to me, the other person and the situation, it allows me to let go and let God a little bit more in something that is so personal and important to me.
Sending blessings your way!
On a more concrete note - yoga? a dvd or a class?
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
an orthopedic cushion (it's pretty well shot after 5 years)
It does sound like you are taking time out for you on a regular basis so, how about this:
my heart is heavy about some things
Regarding the spinal disease, it seems like so many people have these problems!! In fact, I believe that it contributes to drug abuse and addiction because I have seen and heard of so many people who start taking narcotic prescriptions for these spinal pains and get hooked. I do know that disc disease is congenital but that there are many things we do that aggravate it so I am glad you have the pillows. I know when you have a buddy to quit smoking with it is supposed to help. I am struggling with my own cigarette relapse right now so I feel ya'. I am so sorry you are having this pain. There have been a lot of posts lately about yoga; have you ever tried it? I wish I lived where you live, I would come over and teach you some few basic poses to help you strengthen your back muscles. Of course, if you practice yoga in your home, get ready for a lot of licked faces while you are close to the floor!!!LOL
I should apologize because it just dawned on me your post said "I need to talk" but did not ask for any help to figure anything out and I just started offering all this advice. I hope you aren't offended or that I didn't overstep my bounds.
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