How does one work on depression, grief, and restlessness?

Old 06-15-2010, 01:47 PM
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How does one work on depression, grief, and restlessness?

I need specific things I can do for these things. I really need to work on them to get through the day. I'm finding it hard to function. i see a counselor tomorrow, so I'm going to bring these things up to her as well. Anything that helped for you all? I'm trying to stay strong for my kids and to make good decisions, but I'm having trouble even coping through the day. I find myself very depressed and hopeless. I want to work through this, as I hate all of these feelings. I'm grieving my life and how it once was and all the things that have happened. I'm dealing with seperation, my kids and their stress, work, financial crisis and so on. I'm working through the steps but need some practical things I can do now. I'm starting to have trouble sleeping too, which I never have had, so that is making it worse too. Thanks.
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Old 06-15-2010, 02:11 PM
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I set small goals for myself, things like getting the dishes done that day, or doing a load of laundry.

Exercise does help, even if it's just a walk around the block.

Get outside every day in the fresh air for a bit. I take frequent breaks from school work to let the dogs out, and I just sit on the back step and watch them.

Do little things to pamper yourself. When the weather's colder, I like to take bubble baths and I light a couple of candles to set on the tub.

I get my nails done professionally every two weeks. I keep my hair up with frequent trims, and I get it colored about every 6-8 weeks (this is all at the same salon). Tomorrow is my 'me' day for a trim, and nails. It costs me a whomping $10 for the trim, and $15 for the nails.

I like to go to our local park and feed the geese and ducks at the pond.

I called my sponsor this morning and talked to him. I find I do much better when I stay in touch regularly (he's a driver for Metro Xpress so he's out on the road for two weeks at a time).

I hope these help a little bit! :ghug3
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Old 06-15-2010, 02:17 PM
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Babysteps. I try to get one thing done every day. That's it. Just one. even if it's a really small thing - like taking out the trash or loading the dishwasher or grocery shopping.

And I don't berate myself for feeling down. I allow myself to feel depressed and sad and I treat myself with the gentleness and kindness I would treat another human being with, if I knew they were suffering.

I tell myself this too will pass. And I believe it.

I focus on the present. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. And if I start worrying about things I cannot control I stop and PURPOSEFULLY change my thinking to something I can control.

I also use a sleep aid - like ambien - when necessary. a goodnights sleep is very important to my sanity and ability to cope.
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Old 06-15-2010, 02:30 PM
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I agree with Freedom and Kitty, these are all things that helped me get through my days when I had bad depression. Please also make sure you are eating healthy foods. If you are unable to eat, please drink Ensure or something similar so that you are getting at least minimal nutrition. Exercise and getting exposure to the sun is very important. If you cannot walk around the block, walk to the end of the street and back. Having someone to talk to (not just type on a keyboard to converse on the internet) also helps. Believe it or not, the simple act of talking helps you to breathe more, which helps your body naturally regulate stress. Listen to music you know the words to and SING OUT LOUD. This will naturally get you breathing deeper and lift your spirits. Pet an animal like a dog or cat. If I think of anything else, I'll post again :O)
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Old 06-15-2010, 02:35 PM
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Eating healthy and exercising really help me. I dropped 14 pounds in 3 weeks when we first split. Couldn't eat. Yogurt helped me to keep something in my stomach and not get sick.

Honestly, I was too depressed to do much cardio work, but I found that walking in the neighborhood and getting fresh air helped quite a bit. Yoga was also a godsend. It streches you, you move at your own pace and the breathing really works to relax you.

Right now I would suggest a routine and just do the routine as scheduled. Going through the motions at least keeps you moving and on a schedule.

I isolated too much and I would recommend not doing that.
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Old 06-15-2010, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted by MissFixit View Post
Eating healthy and exercising really help me. I dropped 14 pounds in 3 weeks when we first split. Couldn't eat. Yogurt helped me to keep something in my stomach and not get sick.
Thanks, Miss. I've been experiencing the same thing, but hadn't thought of yogurt to help... Went right to my favorite comfort food - (homemade white or sourdough) bread, not especially helpful in the health side other than the arm and frustration work-out.

Anvil (as always) has a good point about owning all of our emotions.

There are days I have to allow myself time to just feel: OK, the next 15 minutes I can bawl my eyes out, but then I'm going to go do a load of laundry. Maybe later the same day another 5-10-15-30 minutes....

Getting outside definitely helps me. There are days I have to literally force myself to leave my room, but once I'm outside, I'm able to breathe.
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Old 06-15-2010, 04:04 PM
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Well to be honest, I clean. Why? I have no clue, however, when under extreme stress, I have the cleanest house in the neighborhood.

My friend, she cleans her toilet, she says as she flushes, it gets rid of all her "sh*t", don't know, seems to work for her!

Lots of great ideas B/4 me.

Be patient, this too will pass.

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Old 06-15-2010, 04:28 PM
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Hey Praise,

I know where you are at. It's like a mountain standing in front of me and my feet are asleep. I just got a new consulting gig and I could barely hold my concentration at the site. I love kids and they usually snap me out of anything, but not so today.

I am off to do the laundry and flush the toilet.

Big Hugs to you.
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