To be a good mom:
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 530
To be a good mom:
To be a good mom:
-I need to not accept his bad behavior in my life or around my daughter.
-I need to not allow the rollercoaster of emotions that constantly sweep me in my life anymore.
-I will not accept the lies, secrets, cheating, defensiveness, anger, threats, or anything else.
-I will not feel scared at the thought of exah not being around anymore.
-Will not buy into 'because I was drinking' as an excuse for his lack of boundaries.
My child deserves a mother that is 100% here for her. Not consumed by what exah is doing at any given moment. Like Step 1 says: I am powerless over what he does. I can only control what I want.
**I just caught exah in more lies about inappropriate friendships that he seems to reach out to when drinking. Of course he denied, got angry with me, and told me not to call him until I am not doubting him.
I have spent the morning (not to mention the better part of the last month) so consumed by checking up on exah, doubting him, and always finding things that confirm that he is just a lying, cheating snake. I have spent the morning crying for yet again and not being the happy mother my daughter deserves.
-I need to not accept his bad behavior in my life or around my daughter.
-I need to not allow the rollercoaster of emotions that constantly sweep me in my life anymore.
-I will not accept the lies, secrets, cheating, defensiveness, anger, threats, or anything else.
-I will not feel scared at the thought of exah not being around anymore.
-Will not buy into 'because I was drinking' as an excuse for his lack of boundaries.
My child deserves a mother that is 100% here for her. Not consumed by what exah is doing at any given moment. Like Step 1 says: I am powerless over what he does. I can only control what I want.
**I just caught exah in more lies about inappropriate friendships that he seems to reach out to when drinking. Of course he denied, got angry with me, and told me not to call him until I am not doubting him.
I have spent the morning (not to mention the better part of the last month) so consumed by checking up on exah, doubting him, and always finding things that confirm that he is just a lying, cheating snake. I have spent the morning crying for yet again and not being the happy mother my daughter deserves.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 530
There is nothing to leave...we live apart. He came to me a few months back and said he was changed, he grew up, went into IC counseling, was stopping the drinking, giving up old habits and wanted his family back.
Slowly but surely none of it has changed.
Slowly but surely none of it has changed.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Ah i see...so it's about getting your heart to let him go.
Perhaps you can also see this as an opportunity show your daughter what a healthy relationship is and *isn't* by walking away from this toxicity.
Perhaps you can also see this as an opportunity show your daughter what a healthy relationship is and *isn't* by walking away from this toxicity.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
To me, it appears that you are now thinking with your head, not your heart. This is good.
Don't deny your daughter the happiness she so deserves because you are hurt and mad.
What are you accomplishing by checking on him and finding him in lies...you already knew that, no reason to beat a dead horse.
Let go, live, make each day a special day for you and your daughter!
Don't deny your daughter the happiness she so deserves because you are hurt and mad.
What are you accomplishing by checking on him and finding him in lies...you already knew that, no reason to beat a dead horse.
Let go, live, make each day a special day for you and your daughter!
aboutdone
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Very good post. I have 4 children, and at times in the insanity of it all, wasn't really there as I was more focused on what the heck he was doing, as opposed to what they were doing.
You are exactly right. Our children are innocent and want our unconditional love. They absolutely thrive with our attention. Why waste it on something so negative, when you have a beautiful young lady, who appreciates, loves, and adores you.
You are exactly right. Our children are innocent and want our unconditional love. They absolutely thrive with our attention. Why waste it on something so negative, when you have a beautiful young lady, who appreciates, loves, and adores you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
