Starlynn

I guess I see your point and maybe it's true. But when he emailed me we emailed over a period of 3 months and only a few sporadic emails. And when we finally did get together I had called him and we just talked and had dinner. I didn't find it odd that he found me online or that he "searched" for me because we have sort of kept in touch over the years sending each other postcards, etc. So I didn't find it strange to hear from him. He has always been on my mind as well. When we were together before we had talked about getting married but I was only 21, graduating from college and wasn't ready. He has always said he had a hard time getting over me. I don't really know what to think anymore.

Hammerhead

Precisely. That's almost verbatim what happened to me. You don't find it strange... I didn't find it strange either! Yep... he had been on my mind too... and it made me easy bait for him and he KNEW it.

I'm not saying this IS what is happening to you... just know that it could be. Honestly... if he's that IN to you... then why is he destroying what he "really" wants? Food for thought.

I'm not looking to add to your confusion... but there is a reason why there is a problem... sometimes we just don't want to see it.

Take care.

btw... you are not alone.

((hugs))

coffeedrinker

Star,

I am fearful for you. I fear that you are on the roller coaster of hope, and despair. You spent the evening with this man, whom admittedly has a drinking problem, yet because he spent the evening/night with you and did not drink, you are becoming hopeful.

Oh, you didn't say you were, but I know how those wheels turn, and what thoughts come as a result. You feel perhaps that this is the beginning of the end of the drinking days. That something - maybe the threat of losing you, the realization that the drinking problem's not going away - lit up that light bulb over his head and he's going to get closer and closer to that road to recovery starting now.

It's awful, like a slow and painful death, to live like that.

I know I could be way wrong, I mean, I know I'm not a mind-reader. And alcoholics DO get sober sometimes. But....the odds are not in your favor on this at this time.

I guess I just wanted you to know that I completely understand this trip. And that it's most likely a train wreck waiting to happen. And also, warn you to keep your head on straight and your eyes wide open.

RollTide

Coffeedrinker said it well. The odds are not in your favor. You'll know what you need to do for you. Keep reading here and you'll be armed with enough information to help you through it.

Hammerhead

Collective experience and knowledge is a wonderful thing!

Thanks SR!

dreamstones

coffeedrinker,
You nailed it right on the head, the roller coaster analogy is so appropriate.

Until the alcoholic stays sober with no "brief" falls off the wagon, for if they do, even one drink, it just grows from there. I've seen AS stay sober for a few days, usually when she was in hospital, but as soon as out and feeling better, the binging usually seemed to escalate from there and get worse.

There is no middle ground for an alcoholic, either they DO drink and continue the downward spiral, or they DON'T drink, period, and begin to live a sober life.

spinwc

Mine told me that instead of going cold turkey with the booze (he drinks the hard stuff-vodka and crowne) he was going to switch to beer, then reduce that. I, hoping for a miracle, believed him.

Well, the beer gave him heartburn (whatever) and he actually told me that the reason he got the flu was because he quit drinking vodka and OJ (just for a week) and he wasnt getting his "vitamin C"...again whatever. His latest-at least the week we ended it, was to take milk thistle and that "it cleans out your liver". I told him that it removes toxins and sludge from the liver-not disease from drinking and you are still drinking so if he does help, you are ruining it anyway! Dumba**!

My point is there was always the intention to quit.....but more intentions to start back up again.

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst!

Jadmack25

Living with the dread of relapse, if an A does choose recovery, and afraid of the sound of breaking eggshells....never again for me, thank you.

Spent last 18 or more years doing that with RABF, and it darn near killed me.
You have a lifetime ahead of you, don't spend it playing second fiddle to the bottle.

God bless