Frightened lonely alcoholic alone in recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: TX
Posts: 7
Frightened lonely alcoholic alone in recovery
I am a sober alcoholic in recovery fro 6 years, my daughter has been sober for almost 3. My husband and son still struggle. I have a solution they do not want. I feel like I am outside looking in at recovery. I want to do the right thing but it is hopelessly full of pain and fear. I am so tired of living with anger resentment and chaos
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Welcome, glad to meet you!
All I have to offer is that my mother is an alcoholic, has been one for over 60 years.
I too, wish that she would recover, but, it doesn't seem to be in the cards.
I have to accept her path in life. My bounderies are firmly in place, if she crosses them. I am out of the picture. I cannot change her, I cannot cure her, all I can do is protect myself and have a level of acceptance that she will die an alcoholic.
I continue to work on me and accept what I cannot change.
Anger is like acid, it will eat you from the inside out, don't do this to yourself, you are only hurting you.
Are you going to meetings? It may help.
All I have to offer is that my mother is an alcoholic, has been one for over 60 years.
I too, wish that she would recover, but, it doesn't seem to be in the cards.
I have to accept her path in life. My bounderies are firmly in place, if she crosses them. I am out of the picture. I cannot change her, I cannot cure her, all I can do is protect myself and have a level of acceptance that she will die an alcoholic.
I continue to work on me and accept what I cannot change.
Anger is like acid, it will eat you from the inside out, don't do this to yourself, you are only hurting you.
Are you going to meetings? It may help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: TX
Posts: 7
no solution
I feel as if they don't want to accept AA as a solution. I have done 4th steps and talked to my sponser. I have only been to one Al Anon meeting a few months back. I suppose the commitment is mine to make not thiers. Still hurts though
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
Congratulations on your sobriety!
You have found a wonderful resource of information and support. There are several double winners here on this forum (members that have kicked addiction and have taken steps to recover from relationships with addicts)
You are not alone.
I am sorry that you are still living in chaos and suffering with anger and resentments.
Alanon may be helpful to you in learning to detach with love from their behaviors.
In my life, I had to forgive myself for the choices I made, including staying too long.
I also had to forgive my Alcoholic for not being the person I wanted him to be.
It helped me to take my focus off the Alcoholic and keep my focus on my own recovery.
How can we help you in your recovery?
Congratulations on your sobriety!
You have found a wonderful resource of information and support. There are several double winners here on this forum (members that have kicked addiction and have taken steps to recover from relationships with addicts)
You are not alone.
I am sorry that you are still living in chaos and suffering with anger and resentments.
Alanon may be helpful to you in learning to detach with love from their behaviors.
In my life, I had to forgive myself for the choices I made, including staying too long.
I also had to forgive my Alcoholic for not being the person I wanted him to be.
It helped me to take my focus off the Alcoholic and keep my focus on my own recovery.
How can we help you in your recovery?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 545
Have you done an Al-anon Step 4 Or even another AA Step 4. Cos that's all about anger and resentment, I believe.
12 step programs are not the meetings. They are an adjunct. The steps are the programs. I am not a big old big book (or the al-anon equivalent) basher. I just think that the time that is spent fretting over an alcoholic could be spent doing something productive. And one teeny lesson learnt in a meeting or with a sponsor is more than you'll get spending an evening with a drunk, imho.
12 step programs are not the meetings. They are an adjunct. The steps are the programs. I am not a big old big book (or the al-anon equivalent) basher. I just think that the time that is spent fretting over an alcoholic could be spent doing something productive. And one teeny lesson learnt in a meeting or with a sponsor is more than you'll get spending an evening with a drunk, imho.
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