Originally Posted by MaryGoRound
.... What happens when two codependent people date?.....
Depends on whether they are in recovery or not. It's like two alcoholics dating. If they're drinking.... somebody is going to get hurt. If they're solid in recovery, then they have a good chance.
My personal experience as an alanoid is that I dated two wonderful young ladies I met thru alanon. They are both 100% card-carrying codies, and both of them work a very solid program. As a long term relationship it didn't work out, but they are still very special friends. We have a _healthy_ friendship now which is the result of working our programs.
I am now dating another alanoid, who is also a member of ACoA, ISA, AA and OA. She works her program like a Marine charging up a hill. She's one of the healthiest, sanest people I know. So far we're doing great. Not perfect, but it's a very normal, healthy relationship.
I don't think that where we come from is an issue in our relationship. It's where we are heading that matters. As long as we both stay on the sane side of recovery we'll be fine. But if either one of us "relapses" as an alanoid, or any other of our "conditions", then it'll be a mess.