Repeat Performance...I pray not

Old 06-11-2010, 11:19 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Repeat Performance...I pray not

Hi all,

Well, AS received her 6 month coin a few weeks back. We've been talking a few times a week and are slowly rebuilding our relationship. We even had an extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) shower/suprise party last weekend at a local restaurant/bar and she handled everything well. I did have two beers and at first felt weird drinking in front of her, but she and I talked about it and she said she had the problem, not me, and that she was fine.

I think she is doing well, taking it a day at a time, I pray that she stays the course and realizes there is a life without alcohol and she has a disease. I know she is still working through other issues that probably were part of her demons (she did rant the other night about one schmuck uncle every time we snuck outside for a smoke, she sometimes just doesn't know how to let sh*t go)

My trust level with her is much better, but there is always that bit of self doubt in the back of my head, knowing she has stayed sober for a while, then fell off the wagon, but this is the longest she has gone. Another factor, our Mom, who she still lives with, is heading on vacation next week for 8 days. It was a year ago that I went through hell with sis when Mom went to England for a month and I had to watch her almost kill herself again (see past posts on that hell, which we've all been through). I guess there is a part of me saying she can handle this, she is better equiped (active AA, a sponser, etc.). I also told her I'm there for her next week, that we can get together and do stuff. Then there is that part of me where she will feel alone, vulernable, and figure why not, why not a little drink, I can handle just one.

I'm not driving myself crazy about this, just having a few thoughts about it and if something did happen, which I pray won't, it's out of my control.

Thanks everyone for your past support and I hope that I can be there for all of you as well.

Peace to all.
dreamstones is offline  
Old 06-11-2010, 11:44 AM
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Recovering Nicely
 
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I'm glad you realize her recovery is her recovery. Sounds like she's working it pretty well, which is positive. I know what you mean about the trust level. My RAH is sober 7 mos. now, which is the longest he's gone also. I went away for a long weekend about a month ago, just around his 6 mo. mark, and I was kinda nervous leaving him alone ... figuring just like you did, "well, one little drink won't hurt", "nobody will know", etc. But I knew I couldn't "babysit" him, went away and had a great time. And he was fine.

She's very lucky to have a sister like you to be there for her, in case she gets lonely or bored. Have a great time at dinner ... Hugs.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:33 PM
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Thanks Q, I appreicate the support and kind words. You're right, we can't babysit, that is what we learn in Al-Anon, this board, readings, etc. It's when we recognize the disease and how it impacts ALL of us in different ways that we begin to learn how to react.

Peace
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Old 06-11-2010, 07:53 PM
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Thanks for your post, dream...it gives me hope that my AS will one day find recovery, and also makes me see that it's out of my control if she doesn't.
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Old 06-14-2010, 10:00 AM
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FarawayFromCars,

We are all here for the same reason, someone we love is an alcoholic. I will pray for your sister and you. Just focus on what you can control, that is you.
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