Good days ahead of me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Good days ahead of me
I haven't been posting much lately. Been too busy working on myself. So I just wanted to share some and give you a bit of an update on what's going on in my life.
With each new step I'm taking I feel I'm getting closer to that peaceful place I was dreaming about for years. Life is making sense, I'm breathing and I'm wellcoming all my emotions, as each one of them, my pain included, is a blessing that is teaching me so much. I'm loving this new, finally relaxed me and my life. There is no fear in my life any more. I'm finally fine with a fact life is unpredictable, and there will be ups and downs, and I can even see the life's beauty comes from it. So right now it is good to be me.
AH is doing better. Doctors say his life is not in immediate danger any more and he's doing the best under the possible parametres and recovering well. He's going to stay in a hospital for a while longer. And I'm doing something I thought I'd never be able to do in such a circumstances. On Monday I'm going away for a week on holiday with my kids. I had this planned a while ago, and when AH was first admitted to hospital I though I'm going to give up on my holiday. But now I'm not. I'm acctually really looking forward to it and can't wait to go. I'm so proud I can do this. I think this was the biggest test for my letting go. And I'm passing it, and I'm doing it for all the right reasons. I know I can't do anything for AH but I can do this for my kids and me.
In all honesty I never thought I'd be here, it sounded impossible, but now I know so much better, and I'm so greateful for it.
I wish you all well in your recoveries
With each new step I'm taking I feel I'm getting closer to that peaceful place I was dreaming about for years. Life is making sense, I'm breathing and I'm wellcoming all my emotions, as each one of them, my pain included, is a blessing that is teaching me so much. I'm loving this new, finally relaxed me and my life. There is no fear in my life any more. I'm finally fine with a fact life is unpredictable, and there will be ups and downs, and I can even see the life's beauty comes from it. So right now it is good to be me.
AH is doing better. Doctors say his life is not in immediate danger any more and he's doing the best under the possible parametres and recovering well. He's going to stay in a hospital for a while longer. And I'm doing something I thought I'd never be able to do in such a circumstances. On Monday I'm going away for a week on holiday with my kids. I had this planned a while ago, and when AH was first admitted to hospital I though I'm going to give up on my holiday. But now I'm not. I'm acctually really looking forward to it and can't wait to go. I'm so proud I can do this. I think this was the biggest test for my letting go. And I'm passing it, and I'm doing it for all the right reasons. I know I can't do anything for AH but I can do this for my kids and me.
In all honesty I never thought I'd be here, it sounded impossible, but now I know so much better, and I'm so greateful for it.
I wish you all well in your recoveries
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Thank you all!!!
And off I go tomorrow morning.
I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am.
I'm a big girl now, I'm doing things for myself and I don't worry how the rest of the world is going to cope without me!
And off I go tomorrow morning.
I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am.
I'm a big girl now, I'm doing things for myself and I don't worry how the rest of the world is going to cope without me!
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: seeking sanity
Posts: 645
Thank you for that post sesh. I'm also working on me and hope to be where you are one day. I can see and feel that I am inching closer. Your post is what I needed to hear today. Any details on how you got from point A to point B would be appreciated.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Thanks!
I did have most amazing time. So now I'm back feeling very relaxed and strong.
I believe this vacation was the best thing I did for myself in years. Swimming, sunbathing and reading all day long every day. I feel reborn.
Also, AH is recovering well, but it is going to be a long process. I saw him yestarday, and he reminded me of a person he used to be, before the alcoholism got hold of his life. It's been 27 days since he had a drink, so I guess I should call him RAH, but anyways it is nice to see that lovely person he used to be is still there. Of course I don't know if that person is going to keep evolving and take charge to lead him to healthier, happier life, or what will become of him, but still it is nice to witness that possibility increasing each new day. I'm so glad for him, but in the same time I'm increasingly aware my own happiness, life and well being doesn't depend on it. The great sense of peace comes from this awarness.
So each new day I'm becoming more gratefull for my new outlook on life and the happiness it is bringing me.
I did have most amazing time. So now I'm back feeling very relaxed and strong.
I believe this vacation was the best thing I did for myself in years. Swimming, sunbathing and reading all day long every day. I feel reborn.
Also, AH is recovering well, but it is going to be a long process. I saw him yestarday, and he reminded me of a person he used to be, before the alcoholism got hold of his life. It's been 27 days since he had a drink, so I guess I should call him RAH, but anyways it is nice to see that lovely person he used to be is still there. Of course I don't know if that person is going to keep evolving and take charge to lead him to healthier, happier life, or what will become of him, but still it is nice to witness that possibility increasing each new day. I'm so glad for him, but in the same time I'm increasingly aware my own happiness, life and well being doesn't depend on it. The great sense of peace comes from this awarness.
So each new day I'm becoming more gratefull for my new outlook on life and the happiness it is bringing me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Hi RollTide, we were posting in the same time it seems. You can PM me if you like, and I'd be more than happy to share as much as I can.
There is a thread you might like to read, I think it shows how these great people here have helped me build a foundation for my recovery:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eling-low.html
I hope it helps
There is a thread you might like to read, I think it shows how these great people here have helped me build a foundation for my recovery:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eling-low.html
I hope it helps
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Originally Posted by sesh 
I believe this vacation was the best thing I did for myself in years. Swimming, sunbathing and reading all day long every day.
Jamaica : 2010 - all inclusive!
Oh.. glad to hear things are good!
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