12stepnchick

I'm sorry I havent been by much lately, I've stopped to read but with so much going on at work, etc, haven't felt like I had anything valuable to share.
Work is slowly falling apart and I wonder if I will be able to stay at the job I've held and taken pride in the past 13 yrs. There are some mgmt changes occuring etc, and though I love the job I do I find myself unable to function in the unhappiness around me daily (co workers crying, mgmt bullying and manipulating, never ending rumors etc) It has affected my abilility to function there happily and I want to be happy in my work.
I've been dating a new guy.......a little over 2 mths now and he APPEARS to be everything I could want and more. Don't get me wrong he is still a guy-lol (just kidding gentleman) but he trys and we communicate well together. It feels for both of us that we've known one another soooo much longer that we find ourselves having to constantly remind ourselves that it has ONLY been two months-we are taking it slow and enjoying the ride so to speak, but he works away half the week so that is one thing we are dealing with.
My 13 yr old son has been testing the waters and I've had some disipline issues with what used to be a perfectly normal kid-lol........He still is, just growing up I suppose and leaving me behind.
This week it seemed as though everyone was distancing from me, little to no communication with the bf, problems with my son and him growing up and leaving me behind, etc etc.
So about mid week-I called off work-too a personal day Thursday and was scheduled off Friday that was sweet. Thursday I had a fibro flair and could not get up out of bed to even try to get there. So as I lay in bed for hours....I processed........and as I processed I realized......I've lost my focus once again.....I'm trying to hold everyone close and CONTROL everything and the only thing I can really control is me.....my choices and my actions! So I regrouped........got out my literature, read up on some of the areas I was struggling with and got my head out of my butt. I my baby (my lab) out to evenings for several miles walks-this helps with the fibro and my attititude...took a bubble bath (to heck with the water bill-lol) and did one thing a day on my to do list (turns out I CAN hang a plant hanger up and it NOT fall down-fingers crossed-lol) I gave everyone I cared about some space and felt much better about me in the long run.
It really does work if ya work it-my biggest struggle is keeping the focus on me and LIVING IN THE NOW.......

ReadyToHelp

Great job, 12Step, keep up the good work. I feel that I am the only person I can really count on. If every other friend is busy with her own life, and I have an issue that needs resolution NOW - then, well, there's just ME to turn to. Then, why not be the ONE person upon whom I can rely no matter what!?

Isn't it wonderful to realize that you can rely on yourself, and so you do the things that make you feel whole again, and you find the thoughts that make you realize you can handle the situation you're in or calm the feelings you're feeling?

It's so liberating!!

You know your biggest struggle, so that's half the battle! (I smell LEVERAGE!) The faster you can identify when you're not living in the now, the faster you can snap back to living in the now.



Ready!

DesertEyes

Awesome, 12stepnchick. That's wonderful recovery you're sharing there. It really helps to hear from folks who are working this thing in all of their life, and that it works in spite of all the usual "stuff" that life throws at you.

Thanx for sharing

Mike