Jenny1232

I don't know much about laws.. so I don't know what to do...

He said.. "don't worry, I'll make sure I make good use of your dirty pictures *****, you F'ing C&nt"

I BELIEVE THIS.. I AM PETRIFIED...

What can I do.

While we were together.. I did send him some pretty dirty pictures.. I'm really scared.

What kind of laws protect against this? Or charges?

Oh my gosh.. This guy SCARES me..

If one day.. I stop coming here.. it means, he's killed me. I'm really fearful now. He's capable of so much... I'm really, really, scared now. He's going to ruin my life with these pictures...

**Just last winter, after his ex broke up with him.. he threatend to kill his family, then self.. and ended up in the mental ward.

PieRat

Keep records of all his text and stuff (do not contact him back!!!), but if he is sending you threatning stuff, or leaving voice messages. Take it to the police, at least get a restraining order.

gerryP

I agree with Pie, Jenny. Keep everything he sends you and go to the police. Don't sit on it, inform the police before any of this gets worse. And PLEASE...don't... contact..... him from this minute forward. That's what he wants you to do. He's clearly off his rocker. Let the police take it from here. Try not to be frightened.

Starburst

I am praying for you Jenny, i am so sorry that he is doing this to you. I remember watching Dr Phil on tv and one of his programmes, he said all these people who put pictures on FB, could get them into trouble as once they are in cyberspace, there is no knowing who gets them. I pray that, he will not do that to you.

PieRat

Exactly as gerry says. He is wanting you to contact him, he is threatning, and "posturing" for effect. So hopefully his threats are idle, but do not take that chance!!! I do not want to hear about you in the nightly news...get my drift?

tjp613

Jenny - In addition I would like to ask you to PLEASE call your local domestic abuse hotline (or the national one) and speak to a counselor. They will stay on the phone with you as long as you need and you can get information about local resources and laws.

The number for the national hotline is: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Please call today.

PieRat

Listen to this Jenny!

Jenny1232

Thank you guys.. thank you. I've saved the messages. He then said.. he would never do anything with the pictures, because he doesn't want anyone to see me.

I do not believe him. I wish I could crush his phone and remove them. I am sickened that he even has these photos of me, as I never know when, and where they will turn up. Yet, another great lesson learned on my end.

I definitely want to call the abuse hotline number when I am able to, perhaps tonight. I know they have a group at the women's shelter on tuesday nights, so I think I want to go check that out.

I'm really starting to see this guy is much, much more psycho than I ever saw. It's absolutely scary. I don't want him to hurt me. He's going to destroy my life guys.. I'm in fear.

He knows where I live. He could get drunk/insane one night and try and come kill me or my family. Maybe not.. He could come vandalize my car. I'm kind of scared to make any moves.. or set him off.

I believe he hates me now too.. which may be a good thing? Maybe.. he just will drop off the face of the earth - or never try and contact me again. I wish he'd get out of my town!

gerryP

Jenny......

I think you should call the Police and bring them into the mix today. He has already threatened you and he has you terrified for your own safety as well as your family's.

Don't contact him. Call the Police, or better yet, walk into a station and ask to speak to an Officer and explain all of this. They will be on alert and will keep watch on you. Apply for a restraining order please. In doing nothing, you are protecting him.

Jenny1232

Okay.. okay, thank you. I will do that.

It may be silly - but, better safe than sorry.

I think he hates me now.. so I'm not sure he wants anything to do with me..

but, this man snaps on a whim.. so.. it may not be the end. I will do just that.. thank you

PieRat

Of course he wants a lot to do with you, that is part of all his threats to you. It is to keep you under his control, and his manipulation. It needs to stop.

You thought he hated his ex as well, but you now know he has been in contact with her as well. He is losing control, and he does not like it.

It might all be a bluff, Jenny, but can you take that chance? I do not think so.

Jadmack25

You have had very wise advice, follow it for your and your family's sake.
Of course you don't want to speak to strangers, even cops, about the photos, but unless the cop is wearing a diaper, I think they will have come face to face with some weird stuff.

The fact that, unknown to you, this wacko says he came on to your property, and peered at you thru your bedroom window......shows that his mind is bitter and twisted. Whether he did this or not, isn't the point really...the point is that he told you he had done this to SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOU, TO TERRIFY YOU, TO MAKE YOU AFRAID.

Well, he sure did that to me, and you didn't sound too strong in your opening post, so he succeeded in that aim. He probably expects you to be so upset and ashamed for the snaps to be seen that you will just sit quietly and obey orders.
As Gomer Pyle used to say, "surprise, surprise."

Seeing the police, and I refer to senior police here, and giving them ALL the information about what has happened, why it has and what threats have been made, is the first move.....like ASAP urgent.

Getting support from DV people, and following their experienced advice is step 2.

Maybe having a friend or 2 (a platoon) to stay with you for a short while, would help you feel safer and not so alone.....someone with a black belt would be perfect.

And then, my dear child, a bit of work on you, and look at why you put yourself into hot water in the first place. The best way of coping with wackos and dinky winks like this ex of yours, is simply to educate yourself to recognise them from a distance and get out of their way. Seeing the whites (or reds maybe) of their eyes is too darn close.

You seem to leap out of one frying pan into the hot water, and this needs to stop.

Enough for lesson one,. Go see police and DV folks. Check locks on doors and windows, put alarms on them, and carry a personal alarm on you.

Take care and learn to pray.

God bless

nodaybut2day

Jenny, please update us as soon as you a) talk to the police and b) talk to the DV shelter.

The calls will cost you nothing but at least you'll have gotten the ball rolling on getting this wacko out of your life for good.

Chino

If your family doesn't already know about this, they NEED to know. They have the right to protect themselves too and please don't take that away from them.

PieRat

That is so true. Thanks for bringing that up.

Jenny1232

See, the thing is.. My parents know he came to my window. It doesn't really faze them... I've told them things, and they just say, "stay away from him". They know a lot about his violence towards me.. and they don't seem to concerned even.

I come from an 'uneducated' family, who we could call, "hicks" or "rednecks" or simply, old fashioned. They're, like myself, rather oblivious to a lot of this. I know they care about me, but they don't know how to express it.

----
So, what do I do? Do I just go to the police station, and file a complaint? I'll admit; I'm really shy, and I'm embarrassed, and I'm really scared to even go. It's awkward and uncomfortable. I'd really just like to watch it all fade away on it's own...

You're advice is very much appreciated. I feel cared for, where it's actually being expressed, and it's sweet. I feel like I could be blowing things out of proportion.

I really am taking care of me. I just keep taking a few steps forward, one step back. I'm a slow learner, because I'm oblivious and naive. I am getting there.. I really am.

nodaybut2day

Yes. Call your local police station and ask to speak to a constable about harassment and threats. Make sure to tell them it's a non-emergency situation. Explain yourself clearly and see what they advise.

Then call the DV shelter and ask to speak to a counsellor about a former boyfriend who is threatening. They will listen to you and give you advice. For free. It's that simple.

I did both these things while at the office because I felt unsafe at home with XAH. I found an empty office, locked the door and made the calls. If anyone asked me why I wasn't at my desk, I'd plainly tell them that I was dealing with harassment from my ex and that I was consulting the police.

dollydo

I'd rather be embarassed than take the risk of having the cr*p beat out of me.

I'd go to the sheriff and explain the situation, at least they will be aware of what might happen.

I would get a copy of the complaint.

Most of these guys are spineless bullys, but, it's better to be safe than sorry.

FarawayFromCars

Jenny,

He sounds controlling ("I'll never do anything with the pictures because I don't want anyone to see you"), threatening (the original threat), and unstable. Please keep yourself SAFE and keep a record of everything. Contact your local domestic abuse hotline or the police to report this; take it seriously.
We are all thinking of you. Sending you hugs.

praiseHim

Agree with everyone else and what about a Personal Protection Order as well?