I have officially become...
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Jenny,
Time to stop the insanity, you are still trying to make excuses for his bad behavior. There is nothing to assume, there is no reason to waste any more of your brain power on this YoYo.
At best, he is a peeping tom, now, to my way of thinking...this is sick and perverted. They arrest people for doing it.
What are you accomplishing by obsessing over him? What are you accomplishing by checking up on him? What are you accomplishing by texting & calling him?
Choose A,B or C to determine the correct answer, you can only pick one, so choose wisely:
A: Nothing
B: Nothing
C: Nothing
Time to stop the insanity, you are still trying to make excuses for his bad behavior. There is nothing to assume, there is no reason to waste any more of your brain power on this YoYo.
At best, he is a peeping tom, now, to my way of thinking...this is sick and perverted. They arrest people for doing it.
What are you accomplishing by obsessing over him? What are you accomplishing by checking up on him? What are you accomplishing by texting & calling him?
Choose A,B or C to determine the correct answer, you can only pick one, so choose wisely:
A: Nothing
B: Nothing
C: Nothing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
LOL, you actually made me laugh Dollydo, because it is INSANITY!
In his defense (this is what I do) he wasn't peeping for pleasure.. he was merely spying because I had a male friend in my room, that he hates. I do not believe he actually did it, I think he's lying. I have three dogs who bark at EVERYTHING... so, I'm unsure about it. Either way, even to LIE about it, IS CREEPY!
Thank you.. obsession will subside!
On a odd note: as I know most people are christians here... my friends mother has done tarot card readings and the like, for over thirty years... and I'm going to do it after work! I'm not sure if I believe it in or what, but I thought it'd be exciting! Kind of like a, moving on with my life, and doing things I want to try out, without being judged type of thing! I'm excited!
In his defense (this is what I do) he wasn't peeping for pleasure.. he was merely spying because I had a male friend in my room, that he hates. I do not believe he actually did it, I think he's lying. I have three dogs who bark at EVERYTHING... so, I'm unsure about it. Either way, even to LIE about it, IS CREEPY!
Thank you.. obsession will subside!
On a odd note: as I know most people are christians here... my friends mother has done tarot card readings and the like, for over thirty years... and I'm going to do it after work! I'm not sure if I believe it in or what, but I thought it'd be exciting! Kind of like a, moving on with my life, and doing things I want to try out, without being judged type of thing! I'm excited!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hugs!
Go to the doc. Worrying is WORSE than knowing, and hopefully you are OK !
It SUCKS to realize so many lies and not only addicts lack impulse control. Not unlike an animal that needs something/reaches out to get it. A very basic, survival oriented behavior..
Lately I prefer to hang out with actual human beings.
It WILL get better, if you could go to a psychologist it would be great. It took me months to gather the strength but when I went I wish I had gone sooner and avoided so much senseless suffering.
People that are not worth a dime abound in this world
that is why us the COOL people should support each other 
Go to the doc. Worrying is WORSE than knowing, and hopefully you are OK !
It SUCKS to realize so many lies and not only addicts lack impulse control. Not unlike an animal that needs something/reaches out to get it. A very basic, survival oriented behavior..
Lately I prefer to hang out with actual human beings.
It WILL get better, if you could go to a psychologist it would be great. It took me months to gather the strength but when I went I wish I had gone sooner and avoided so much senseless suffering.
People that are not worth a dime abound in this world
that is why us the COOL people should support each other A Pirate looks at 40
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
Posts: 264
Originally Posted by Jenny1232 
my friends mother has done tarot card readings and the like, for over thirty years... and I'm going to do it after work!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Jenny I did the same when I was feeling really bad.
When mentioning X it was the DEATH card and the lady said I did great getting away from it and that it was not my plan to live in hell... and that God had protected me.
When mentioning X it was the DEATH card and the lady said I did great getting away from it and that it was not my plan to live in hell... and that God had protected me.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Well, in my former life I was Madam Dolly, I use to do numerolgy readings for my own amazement and amusement. Went to old folks homes and dazzled them with my great powers.
The oldtimers here will remember her, as yearly, she would read other members numbers. It was done for fun. However, truth be known, she was more right than wrong.
***************
Here you go again, making excuses for his behavior. Peeping, spying, whatever, it is wrong.
No one really knows another person, I don't care if you spend 24/7 with them. Stop analyzing his behavior, concentrate on yours, if you don't you will never get anywhere.
Enjoy your reading,
The oldtimers here will remember her, as yearly, she would read other members numbers. It was done for fun. However, truth be known, she was more right than wrong.
***************
Here you go again, making excuses for his behavior. Peeping, spying, whatever, it is wrong.
No one really knows another person, I don't care if you spend 24/7 with them. Stop analyzing his behavior, concentrate on yours, if you don't you will never get anywhere.
Enjoy your reading,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
I saw a friend the other day I hadn't seen in a while. She is literally obsessed with her ex....who she still has communication with as she won't allow herself to cut it off. He controls everything, her feelings her emotions, her life. Though she says he doesn't, it is so painfully clear.
She is absolutely beautiful. But she is in such a dark place. Her ex is an actor in L.A. ...and an actor in LIFE. Everyone thinks he's so sweet and caring, and he treats her like crap.
He is seeing a new girl, but still keeps her on the side. She has found out so many lies. He gave her an std, ...and she is STILL there talking to him.
She did nothing but talk trash about this other girl and all the people he hangs out with and even people she hangs out with in L.A. She stalks his page even though she's not on his friends list (a friend let's her use his passcode)...but yet, she calls his new gf crazy b/c she says she stalks her....... Ummmm, hello pot calling kettle??
It took everything I had to not shake her and tell her to WAKE THE F*** UP! But I didn't, I listened, I gave honest opinions, but the bottom line is that it is all in her control. When someone just bashes people in their life it does nothing but show how miserable they are. She bashes him, but still won't separate herself from him.
And looking at this for an entire day...I was so GRATEFUL to be in the emotional place I am. I am listening to her being stuck in a miserable life that she is CHOOSING. And the great thing about coming here all of the time and learning what I have learned about people is that, though I wish she would reach a place of peace, that I cannot save her. I cannot convince her.
But I can be so happy that I am NOT her.
You are in this place Jenny. And you have a choice. Keep searching for the answers you already know, and stay in the place of pain for years to come. Or cut it off, let go, and live in a place of peace for years to come. That's nothing new that anyone hasn't already said to you....but sometimes it just needs to be said over and over.
You said you found strength in a post I wrote about blocking your ex. Mine is still blocked...... Is yours? I can't say that I don't have short moments of wanting to unblock... but I think it out. I remember the lies, I remember the pain, I remember he was just not a good person to me at all.
Before you go searching the web, think it out Jenny.
She is absolutely beautiful. But she is in such a dark place. Her ex is an actor in L.A. ...and an actor in LIFE. Everyone thinks he's so sweet and caring, and he treats her like crap.
He is seeing a new girl, but still keeps her on the side. She has found out so many lies. He gave her an std, ...and she is STILL there talking to him.
She did nothing but talk trash about this other girl and all the people he hangs out with and even people she hangs out with in L.A. She stalks his page even though she's not on his friends list (a friend let's her use his passcode)...but yet, she calls his new gf crazy b/c she says she stalks her....... Ummmm, hello pot calling kettle??
It took everything I had to not shake her and tell her to WAKE THE F*** UP! But I didn't, I listened, I gave honest opinions, but the bottom line is that it is all in her control. When someone just bashes people in their life it does nothing but show how miserable they are. She bashes him, but still won't separate herself from him.
And looking at this for an entire day...I was so GRATEFUL to be in the emotional place I am. I am listening to her being stuck in a miserable life that she is CHOOSING. And the great thing about coming here all of the time and learning what I have learned about people is that, though I wish she would reach a place of peace, that I cannot save her. I cannot convince her.
But I can be so happy that I am NOT her.
You are in this place Jenny. And you have a choice. Keep searching for the answers you already know, and stay in the place of pain for years to come. Or cut it off, let go, and live in a place of peace for years to come. That's nothing new that anyone hasn't already said to you....but sometimes it just needs to be said over and over.
You said you found strength in a post I wrote about blocking your ex. Mine is still blocked...... Is yours? I can't say that I don't have short moments of wanting to unblock... but I think it out. I remember the lies, I remember the pain, I remember he was just not a good person to me at all.
Before you go searching the web, think it out Jenny.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
Originally Posted by Kittyboo
I saw a friend the other day I hadn't seen in a while. She is literally obsessed with her ex....who she still has communication with as she won't allow herself to cut it off. He controls everything, her feelings her emotions, her life. Though she says he doesn't, it is so painfully clear.
She is absolutely beautiful. But she is in such a dark place. Her ex is an actor in L.A. ...and an actor in LIFE. Everyone thinks he's so sweet and caring, and he treats her like crap.
He is seeing a new girl, but still keeps her on the side. She has found out so many lies. He gave her an std, ...and she is STILL there talking to him.
She did nothing but talk trash about this other girl and all the people he hangs out with and even people she hangs out with in L.A. She stalks his page even though she's not on his friends list (a friend let's her use his passcode)...but yet, she calls his new gf crazy b/c she says she stalks her....... Ummmm, hello pot calling kettle??
It took everything I had to not shake her and tell her to WAKE THE F*** UP! But I didn't, I listened, I gave honest opinions, but the bottom line is that it is all in her control. When someone just bashes people in their life it does nothing but show how miserable they are. She bashes him, but still won't separate herself from him.
And looking at this for an entire day...I was so GRATEFUL to be in the emotional place I am. I am listening to her being stuck in a miserable life that she is CHOOSING. And the great thing about coming here all of the time and learning what I have learned about people is that, though I wish she would reach a place of peace, that I cannot save her. I cannot convince her.
But I can be so happy that I am NOT her.
You are in this place Jenny. And you have a choice. Keep searching for the answers you already know, and stay in the place of pain for years to come. Or cut it off, let go, and live in a place of peace for years to come. That's nothing new that anyone hasn't already said to you....but sometimes it just needs to be said over and over.
You said you found strength in a post I wrote about blocking your ex. Mine is still blocked...... Is yours? I can't say that I don't have short moments of wanting to unblock... but I think it out. I remember the lies, I remember the pain, I remember he was just not a good person to me at all.
Before you go searching the web, think it out Jenny.
She is absolutely beautiful. But she is in such a dark place. Her ex is an actor in L.A. ...and an actor in LIFE. Everyone thinks he's so sweet and caring, and he treats her like crap.
He is seeing a new girl, but still keeps her on the side. She has found out so many lies. He gave her an std, ...and she is STILL there talking to him.
She did nothing but talk trash about this other girl and all the people he hangs out with and even people she hangs out with in L.A. She stalks his page even though she's not on his friends list (a friend let's her use his passcode)...but yet, she calls his new gf crazy b/c she says she stalks her....... Ummmm, hello pot calling kettle??
It took everything I had to not shake her and tell her to WAKE THE F*** UP! But I didn't, I listened, I gave honest opinions, but the bottom line is that it is all in her control. When someone just bashes people in their life it does nothing but show how miserable they are. She bashes him, but still won't separate herself from him.
And looking at this for an entire day...I was so GRATEFUL to be in the emotional place I am. I am listening to her being stuck in a miserable life that she is CHOOSING. And the great thing about coming here all of the time and learning what I have learned about people is that, though I wish she would reach a place of peace, that I cannot save her. I cannot convince her.
But I can be so happy that I am NOT her.
You are in this place Jenny. And you have a choice. Keep searching for the answers you already know, and stay in the place of pain for years to come. Or cut it off, let go, and live in a place of peace for years to come. That's nothing new that anyone hasn't already said to you....but sometimes it just needs to be said over and over.
You said you found strength in a post I wrote about blocking your ex. Mine is still blocked...... Is yours? I can't say that I don't have short moments of wanting to unblock... but I think it out. I remember the lies, I remember the pain, I remember he was just not a good person to me at all.
Before you go searching the web, think it out Jenny.
I see my friends fight - in kind of simliar situation.. and I too, feel greatful I am out of it. I may not be entirely out of it, but for the most part I am. Throughout all this, I do not want him back. That wasn't really my objective. As LTD said, maybe I needed to see it. Maybe it was making it easier to stop feeling sorry for him.. and to move on. That's the thing; I felt so sorry for him.
I hope your friend too, comes out of the other side.. the happy side!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
I had NO idea he was at my window. That's the SCARY part to me. I'm considering a restraining order, but it seems silly, far-fetched, useles.. and maybe he won't do it again.
I'm going to shower of the shame, pick up the pieces, and move forward.
I was just shocked, and losing my mind.
"I can see clearly now, THE RAIN IS GONE"
Now I'm singing! "I can see all the obstacles in my way"
"gone are the dark clouds that had me blind"
It's gonna be a bright bright, bright
Sun Shiny day"
Okay.. thanks..
I'm going to shower of the shame, pick up the pieces, and move forward.
I was just shocked, and losing my mind.
"I can see clearly now, THE RAIN IS GONE"
Now I'm singing! "I can see all the obstacles in my way"
"gone are the dark clouds that had me blind"
It's gonna be a bright bright, bright
Sun Shiny day"
Okay.. thanks..
A Pirate looks at 40
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
Posts: 264
Originally Posted by anvilhead
I felt so sorry for him.
why? is he locked up in some Turkish prison?
why? is he locked up in some Turkish prison?
anvil have you seen a movie called "midnight express"? LOL
anyway back on topic, yeah listen to anvil! LOL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I spent 13 long miserable years after I got into recovery for my alcoholism/addictions, putting myself into a position to be hurt over and over because I refused to address my codependency.
I am grateful beyond words that my EXAH was violent and psychotic, because I was too scared to go back home to him after I got out of rehab.
Had I done that, I would have contracted AIDS from him.
He's deceased now, complications due to AIDS. He was 47 when he died.
I'm damned lucky I didn't contract anything from the guys I continued to seek out after rehab.
I hope it doesn't take you 13 long years and even more pain, Jenny.
As LTD said, the ball is in your court now.
I am grateful beyond words that my EXAH was violent and psychotic, because I was too scared to go back home to him after I got out of rehab.
Had I done that, I would have contracted AIDS from him.
He's deceased now, complications due to AIDS. He was 47 when he died.
I'm damned lucky I didn't contract anything from the guys I continued to seek out after rehab.
I hope it doesn't take you 13 long years and even more pain, Jenny.
As LTD said, the ball is in your court now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
Oh my gosh Freedom.. did he know he had it? Or did he find out a long time after? That's really scary. I live close to DC.. and I heard 1 in 20 have aids here.. that's unreasonably high to me.. and with the way everyone has sex with everyone (majority speaking) it's just scary. I myself have had limited partners - but the partners I've been with.. have been known to sleep around, a lot.
anvilhead... I feel sorry for him, because I know a LOT of crazy stuff he's dealing with right now, involving his family. Well, it's been on-going.. and it's beyond his control, and I'll admit, I really feel for him. He's really got no one.. he's got one drunk friend, and that's about it. I find it easy to pity others, but you're right too - I think it makes me feel superior, without even realizing. Way to put things into perspective.
anvilhead... I feel sorry for him, because I know a LOT of crazy stuff he's dealing with right now, involving his family. Well, it's been on-going.. and it's beyond his control, and I'll admit, I really feel for him. He's really got no one.. he's got one drunk friend, and that's about it. I find it easy to pity others, but you're right too - I think it makes me feel superior, without even realizing. Way to put things into perspective.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
Std's are prevalent in area's of low income, and where education is lacking. That's just a fact. DC does have one of the highest rates of HIV in the U.S., but the majority of DC is not made up of the perfectly cut grasses of The White House. The majortity of the DC population is extremely poor.... and they generally don't show that and many people aren't aware of that. DC is not Beverly Hills 90210.
I live not too far from DC as well, and was born in Northern Va.
Freedom, i'm grateful that you did not contract anything from him! Blessings.
I live not too far from DC as well, and was born in Northern Va.
Freedom, i'm grateful that you did not contract anything from him! Blessings.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
You need comfort from yourself. Please stop calling yourself an idiot, stupid, insecure, nosey, paranoid, and whatever other demeaning names you call yourself.
I used to beat myself up daily, and over the years it slowly eroded my self esteem. I began to believe that I didn't deserve a happy life, a healthy relationship, a good job, a comfortable home, a close-knit circle of supportive friends. I began believing that I deserved second best, and it showed in my choice of men and all other aspects of my life.
Kindness begins at home. You are a good person worthy of love and respect from others and yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you believe you've made a poor choice, there's no need to beat yourself up. Chalk it up as a learning experience and try a new path and see where it leads you.
I think you're doing just fine.
I used to beat myself up daily, and over the years it slowly eroded my self esteem. I began to believe that I didn't deserve a happy life, a healthy relationship, a good job, a comfortable home, a close-knit circle of supportive friends. I began believing that I deserved second best, and it showed in my choice of men and all other aspects of my life.
Kindness begins at home. You are a good person worthy of love and respect from others and yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you believe you've made a poor choice, there's no need to beat yourself up. Chalk it up as a learning experience and try a new path and see where it leads you.
I think you're doing just fine.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
You are NOT an idiot and I, for one, am glad you dug and went further.
You would have crucified yourself thinking you were the only insane one.
This anger is brilliant. This anger will sustain in your healing. Oh how I recall this anger.
Without going into too many details, my ex from years ago was as insane as yours. I would find full blown proof of his insanity and he would deny then cry and tell me how much he loves me
This is not some ordinary liar, this is a sociopath. These people are very dangerous.
Wear your hurt like a badge of honor now and be SOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful the universe is giving you this gift of disclosure.
I'm not a Christian nor am I religious, I am very spiritual and believe in my God, but had you asked me years ago if Tarots were worthy, I would have said no, then someone did my cards and this person didn't know me from Adam and I can tell you, it was 90% accurate. Hey, if I can believe in some force called God or HP, then why are tarots so far fetched
Let us know how it turns out
You would have crucified yourself thinking you were the only insane one.
This anger is brilliant. This anger will sustain in your healing. Oh how I recall this anger.
Without going into too many details, my ex from years ago was as insane as yours. I would find full blown proof of his insanity and he would deny then cry and tell me how much he loves me
This is not some ordinary liar, this is a sociopath. These people are very dangerous.
Wear your hurt like a badge of honor now and be SOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful the universe is giving you this gift of disclosure.
I'm not a Christian nor am I religious, I am very spiritual and believe in my God, but had you asked me years ago if Tarots were worthy, I would have said no, then someone did my cards and this person didn't know me from Adam and I can tell you, it was 90% accurate. Hey, if I can believe in some force called God or HP, then why are tarots so far fetched
Let us know how it turns out
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Anywhere but here...
Posts: 227
Originally Posted by Jenny1232
I know I shouldn't have looked.
I just know how badly it pains me to think he's been lying and doing this to me the entire time. I'm scared to even get tested. Oh my if I have aids. Oh my I'd kill myself. He's DIRTY. WHO MEETS WOMEN ON FRIEND FINDER . COM?
I just know how badly it pains me to think he's been lying and doing this to me the entire time. I'm scared to even get tested. Oh my if I have aids. Oh my I'd kill myself. He's DIRTY. WHO MEETS WOMEN ON FRIEND FINDER . COM?
Deep breath, in and out. This is NOT your fault. He is an adult, and he chooses to fill his life up with emptiness, booze, casual sex and disgusting websites. You do not have to be a party to his sickness. He is on his own.
NO CONTACT from this day forward. Delete his log ons, passwords, emails. Block him from your phone and your life. If he ever shows up at your house again, 9-1-1. Period.
Do not waste one more precious moment of your life on this manipulative liar. Life is short but sweet, and he doesn't deserve one more thought. Move on and up my dear!
:ghug3
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