He sent me a letter; said his therapist wants to talk to me
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I am glad it worked out that way for you KP. I'll admit, I was a little nervous for you but we always make the right decisions for ourselves in the end, don't we? :O)
As for this:
That's not true; there is no should or shouldn't KP. You are HUMAN just like all the rest of us and all of us need to feel validated. I am so relieved that is what you got from your encounter with the therapist, and that you did not get what i was afraid you would get.
YAY!!! HAPPY!!! Thanks for the update.
As for this:
I know I shouldn't need any other validation other than my own judgement, but it feels good just the same.
YAY!!! HAPPY!!! Thanks for the update.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Ahhh I am glad it turned out well.
I also felt great when someone I hold in high regard told me it was a brave thing not many people do, to leave a toxic situation. IT was like THANKS FOR CALLING IT TOXIC AND NOT FOR ME! sometimes we believe it is all about us
sesh, I hear you. After all SR is about listening to ourselves, I recall a child's story about a small (female) pony trying to cross a river. The squirrel said it was deadly, the cow said it was easy, after all she tried and with some difficulty she was able to cross it herself! it was not that easy, but it was not deadly either..
I also felt great when someone I hold in high regard told me it was a brave thing not many people do, to leave a toxic situation. IT was like THANKS FOR CALLING IT TOXIC AND NOT FOR ME! sometimes we believe it is all about us
sesh, I hear you. After all SR is about listening to ourselves, I recall a child's story about a small (female) pony trying to cross a river. The squirrel said it was deadly, the cow said it was easy, after all she tried and with some difficulty she was able to cross it herself! it was not that easy, but it was not deadly either..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 218
Ah, KP I am so glad that it went well. I think it's pretty telling that his own therapist needed clarification, from you, about whether you're in a relationship still, even after you've gone NC. A big part of the pain of this disease is what happens behind closed doors with the A - stuff that nobody else sees. To have someone solid and neutral see it for what it is and validate your decisions must feel soooooo good.
Hugs,
SL.
Hugs,
SL.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 594
Originally Posted by stilllearning 
Ah, KP I am so glad that it went well. I think it's pretty telling that his own therapist needed clarification, from you, about whether you're in a relationship still, even after you've gone NC. A big part of the pain of this disease is what happens behind closed doors with the A - stuff that nobody else sees. To have someone solid and neutral see it for what it is and validate your decisions must feel soooooo good.
Hugs,
SL.
Hugs,
SL.
Thanks for helping me through this. It feels like the last of the ripples in the water (visualizing myself jumping ship, swimming to shore, and turning to watch the water).
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