Q about reactions to drinking
 

It's occurring to me lately that the way I react emotionally to my sister's drinking is seeping over to the way I react to others' drinking (who are not alcoholics).

Example--last night, my husband and I were celebrating his finish of grad school, so he had a couple beers. He and I aren't typically big drinkers to
begin with, but he wanted to cut loose and got silly / outgoing.

I found myself feeling anxiety ridden / emotional about the fact that he was drinking--and it was the same emotions that I feel about my sister.

I wonder if I've been so "trained" to react to my sister and her drinking that I'm starting to carry these reactions on to others.

I've also found myself feeling this way when I'm around friends who are drinking (even though I know intellectually that they are not alcoholics).

Any perspectives would be appreciated.

I call them "battle scars".

Yes. I prefer not to be around drinkers, even though I know most of them have no problem with alcohol. The whole thing makes me very uncomfortable.

Trying2Fly, you're coming to terms with your AS's disease and she's been going through some really rough times. Of course it's going to make you uncomfortable to watch someone else you love/know/respect drink to really cut loose, even though you know it's not the same.

I find I'm able to deal with outings with friends when there is a general sharing of a bottle of wine or 2 or 3 if we're a big group, etc. Some friends, who are not alcoholics, who occassionally go out with drinking an 'letting off steam' as the purpose of the evening. I've set the boundary for myself that I won't join their evenings out when cutting loose is the main focus of the outing. I don't enjoy it, so why go along.

Thanks everyone. I, myself, enjoy a glass of wine or going out to cut loose with friends once in awhile, but since I've started noticing this about myself, it just has made me start to wonder if the two are linked (pretty sure they are. AS has been through so much and I've been so hurt by it, that it's difficult). I think I have to work on detaching from what others choose to do in terms of drinking, too.

I have not had a visceral reaction to friends and family having a cocktail too many and appearing intoxicated, but when I see someone (particularly a man) drinking one drink after the other seamingly on a mission not to have a good time but to get completely wasted, I get a definite deep-in-the gut response. I have no choice but to take myself away from them.

Of course, it is coming now as no surprise that these particular men tend to follow me around whatever the event and at the least make a spectacle of themselves around me. I've got the a**bag magnetism, what can I say? They flock my way.

I understand entirely where you are coming from and I think serenity is going to come with time and new perspectives. It helped me to stay away from any alcohol-related situations (whatever the occasion) at first until I could separate in my psyche my XABF's use of alcohol and the occasional drink or two from others.

Best to you!

Alice

Haha Alice, how odd. You get the a**bags, I get the nutbars!