grateful
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
grateful
I have to be grateful and proud though. He doesnt live here anymore. I dont have to see him destroy himself. I can have peace if I allow myself and surrender him to HP. Now if I can just get the letting go part thru to my head...
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
To me, letting go entirely was the hardest part of the entire process.
I was not sure if I wanted him to fail or be successful, and, I HAD to know...Jeez what a waste of my time and effort....I could have spent that time on me.
Finally, I woke up, and stopped the craziness, I didn't give a patootie...Yes, I was finally free!
How did his life turn out? I really don't know, and, could care less!
Yes, I climbed that mountain, and, I am finally free of him.
Your next, ready to climb and go over that peak?
I was not sure if I wanted him to fail or be successful, and, I HAD to know...Jeez what a waste of my time and effort....I could have spent that time on me.
Finally, I woke up, and stopped the craziness, I didn't give a patootie...Yes, I was finally free!
How did his life turn out? I really don't know, and, could care less!
Yes, I climbed that mountain, and, I am finally free of him.
Your next, ready to climb and go over that peak?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by dollydo 
To me, letting go entirely was the hardest part of the entire process.
I was not sure if I wanted him to fail or be successful, and, I HAD to know...Jeez what a waste of my time and effort....I could have spent that time on me.
Finally, I woke up, and stopped the craziness, I didn't give a patootie...Yes, I was finally free!
How did his life turn out? I really don't know, and, could care less!
Yes, I climbed that mountain, and, I am finally free of him.
Your next, ready to climb and go over that peak?
I was not sure if I wanted him to fail or be successful, and, I HAD to know...Jeez what a waste of my time and effort....I could have spent that time on me.
Finally, I woke up, and stopped the craziness, I didn't give a patootie...Yes, I was finally free!
How did his life turn out? I really don't know, and, could care less!
Yes, I climbed that mountain, and, I am finally free of him.
Your next, ready to climb and go over that peak?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by lulu1974
I am trying but I am the type that goes back and forth..
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
Good news! You have the power to change that! You are the only one in charge of what 'type' you want to be.
L
L
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Are you attending Alanon, or seeking any counseling?
For me, trying to treat my codependency by myself was like trying to get sober by myself, which never worked.
I had to have a support system and a way to start changing my thinking.
For me, trying to treat my codependency by myself was like trying to get sober by myself, which never worked.
I had to have a support system and a way to start changing my thinking.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Lulu,
You are in transition, back and forth you go. Eventually, you will have enough, believe me, it will happen. When it does happen you will move forward and not look back.
This is all new to you, as it was to me, it just takes time and patience.
Keep posting,
You are in transition, back and forth you go. Eventually, you will have enough, believe me, it will happen. When it does happen you will move forward and not look back.
This is all new to you, as it was to me, it just takes time and patience.
Keep posting,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Hi Lulu,
I certainly seems that you are back and forth about things which means you are not decided yet about the marriage. Going NC and keeping it that way for a set period of time will allow you to get on with other parts of your life that were kept hidden while taking care of him.
I would suggest that you look at the hard part of letting go for now as something you take one day at a time. It is ok to have whatever feelings, just restrain yourself from taking any action until you have had 24 hours to think about it.
In the mean time, do get on with the parts of your life that work. I think that you do understand what it is to love someone and make a committment. The hard part is learning when to let go - I decided the day he left for good - is the time to let go.
Keep in mind that letting go doesn't mean that things can't change - it just means to stay away for now, and get on with your own life. There is a point to this time in your life and his. Let him figure his part out and you can do the same.
Keep posting.
I certainly seems that you are back and forth about things which means you are not decided yet about the marriage. Going NC and keeping it that way for a set period of time will allow you to get on with other parts of your life that were kept hidden while taking care of him.
I would suggest that you look at the hard part of letting go for now as something you take one day at a time. It is ok to have whatever feelings, just restrain yourself from taking any action until you have had 24 hours to think about it.
In the mean time, do get on with the parts of your life that work. I think that you do understand what it is to love someone and make a committment. The hard part is learning when to let go - I decided the day he left for good - is the time to let go.
Keep in mind that letting go doesn't mean that things can't change - it just means to stay away for now, and get on with your own life. There is a point to this time in your life and his. Let him figure his part out and you can do the same.
Keep posting.
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