Techie1701

AH has been drinking every evening for the last while (maybe a week). He is drinking so that he will get sick of it and not do it again. I have been hearing something like this from him since 1992.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

He is not abusive, he's a nice guy. I am not yet ready to do anything about this. I am not even steamed, just not keeping him company, IYKWIM.

MissFixit

sounds like an excuse not to do the real work

Taking5

I have actually done this, drink several days in a row in order to get a 5-alarm hangover and be so sick I'll decide to stop drinking. This is stupid and very dangerous. If he is doing what I did he may pass up sickness and just die.

Tell him to try AA. It's free and it's everywhere.

Trying2Fly

My AS went through this phase in the progression of her disease. It did not work and she still drinks. I think it's a common tactic, the feeling that they can somehow "will" it out of their system (makes no more sense than me trying to "will" my body to stop having asthma, which is my disease).

It's sad, but it is what they will do.

Ceres

From an A - That's crazy!

All it's going to do is increase his physical dependency on it (mental too). So sorry you have to put up with that! :-(

Jadmack25

He's been doing this since 1992, for 8 years and it hasn't worked yet? Not that it ever was going to succeed, but hey...compared to some ideas I have heard, it almost seems logical.

Time to either look at something else, or admit he has no desire to quit at all.

You seem to be able to cope with this, and not keep him company or enable him.

God bless

Kmber2010

He will stop when he truly sick of drinking. He is using another excuse alcoholics give when they aren't ready to stop and admit they are alcoholic and seek help.

I am a recovering alcoholic and until he stops and gets into recovery.....be prepared to hear any and everything.

You are strong person for standing by him almost 20 years of drinking. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Know that you can't fix him and eventually most alcoholics face some nasty medical issues caused by drinking.

All the best!

Jazzman

That's his addiction talking, plain and simple.

flutter

Drinking more only resulted in me drinking more.. almost til my death. Sorry you have to witness the craziness..

smacked

Really.. he's been doing this for 18 years?? Sounds like you're ok with it so good luck with that. Alcoholism is deadly and progressive..a lot of alcoholics drink to death.

Techie1701

Thank you for all the replies.

To clarify, it hasn't been constant for 18 years, but it comes and goes, most recently for about two weeks. We have three small children, he drinks after they have gone to bed, and is able to get up and look after them during the day. Things aren't bad (though they aren't good either). He is not (as far as I can see) suffering any ill health from the drinking. I am aware that the qualifying word with all of this is 'yet'.

As to why I won't do anything yet? Because ignoring it and hoping it isn't as bad as I think is easier. I am a champion avoider, I know I always feel better when I face things and deal with them, but I find it almost impossible to do that. I am depressed (though it seems to be under control at the moment). It's easy to keep on doing the same things, rather than face the unknown. For now anyway.

I read some of the stories here, and he's not like that at all, he's not a bad person. I just have no respect for him any more...

Pelican

And you believe this is a healthy relationship example for three small children?

Techie1701

Can I ask as well, I get the impression that he expects that if he stops drinking that everything will be fine. I can't switch on and off like that, is this normal? Am I being a bitch for not wanting too have sex with him and be happily married?

smacked

Huh? You don't respect him, don't want to have sex with him.. and you're happily married?

I agree with Pelican, is this a healthy example for your children (who by the way have no choice but to learn from you two..)

Taking5

Techie,

If you are really thinking he's not that bad, please read this thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-bad-fast.html

smacked

So, I read your posts from back in 2007, same story different year..but, is he still drinking WHILE he cares for the children? I hope that has at least stopped

Jazzman

I would say it's normal because I was the same way and I felt the same way you do now. I was not happily married and I couldn't pretend I was. This week it's not so bad it's a show stopper, but the next week might be.... Lived like that for about two years then I was done.

ElegantlyWasted

The sad and darkly funny aspect of this is the fact that active addicts are capable of delusional thinking along these lines. I know that during my unsuccessful attempts to dryout, I would convince myself that I could drink in a normal manner. The buzz felt fresh and exciting again untill it didn't. Repeat previous sentence four or five times until I really got it. Groundhog Day is a masterpiece of a movie.