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He's thinking he's Good bein 95% sober

Old 05-20-2010, 07:27 PM
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Question He's thinking he's Good bein 95% sober

I asked my abf how can he justify promises made to quit drinking, yet never quit? He informed me that he has cut way back, at least 95% of the time he doesn't drink. I told him how insane it is to think after 11 DUI's that 95 is good. It's not good for him or me. I wish he'd get the lesson he needs to abstain period. Am I over reacting? I know I can't change him, so honestly, all I can do is detach. I would like feedback, because he actually thinks I ought to believe that 5% of his life it is ok to be a drunken fool. Maybe for him it is.
:rotfxko
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Old 05-20-2010, 07:53 PM
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Start hitting him in the head with a hammer and ask him if he wants you to cut back or stop. I might be kidding.
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Old 05-20-2010, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Serenebynow View Post
I asked my abf how can he justify promises made to quit drinking, yet never quit? He informed me that he has cut way back, at least 95% of the time he doesn't drink. I told him how insane it is to think after 11 DUI's that 95 is good. It's not good for him or me. I wish he'd get the lesson he needs to abstain period. Am I over reacting? I know I can't change him, so honestly, all I can do is detach. I would like feedback, because he actually thinks I ought to believe that 5% of his life it is ok to be a drunken fool. Maybe for him it is.
:rotfxko
It is okay for him to be a drunken fool. The percentages are up to him. 5-95% of the time if he wishes. It is his life.

He has made his choice. He is not going to quit.

Why are you still sitting in the front row of this drunken drama?
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Old 05-20-2010, 08:14 PM
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I guess the maths says, that if he has cut down drinking to "only" 5% of the time now, he should be able to cut that out to zero very soon.

Assuming he is awake 18 hours a day, it means he is not drinking for 17 hours 6 minutes a day, unless he is also adding his sleep time as part of his non-drinking time, which would mean a non-drinking time of 22 hours 48 minutes.

He only needs to not drink for period of 1 hour 12 mins (24 hr period) or 54 minutes, to be stone cold sober the whole day.

Frankly, I have never known anyone who drank til they became a drunken fool, and only being a drunken fool for at most 1 hour 12 minutes.......the ones I have known drank til they became drunken fools, and stayed that way for more like 15 hours a day.

I think I would be detaching from him ASAP Serene, because he is obviously in some different land to where you live, and you do not want to go there.

God bless
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Old 05-20-2010, 08:58 PM
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He seems to be trying to justify his drinking and to get you to be okay with that justification. Sounds like you're not okay with it. Take care of you.
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Old 05-21-2010, 03:29 AM
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My ex could get totally bombed in 1 hr & 12 min...he was an "A".

I've never met an "A" that told the truth about how much they were drinking, it was always more than they admitted to. I'd triple his %, probably closer to the truth!

In any case, it really doesn't make any difference, he's not quitting.

Take care of you!

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Old 05-21-2010, 03:39 AM
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95 percent my dupa.. 11 Dui's omg.. Didnt he go to jail for that?
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Old 05-21-2010, 04:33 AM
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Thanks

Yes, his thinking is stinking. He only did 72 days at camp snoopy. He had spaced them and committed them in several different states, over a time period when the states weren't computer linked. He mostly had to go to drunk driving school, and well it hasn't cured him.

The reason I shared is because sometimes I get caught in his insane way of thinking and I doubt my own truth.

I appreciate the feedback.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

I can change. I need to get on with my life, which will be will be without his drama.
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:21 AM
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hi serene-

alcholics can not control their drinking. he is still in denial and thinks he can.

in AA, if he said the same thing to those gathered there, in my meeting at least, they would encourage him to go and try to control his drinking and that he would be welcomed back if he discovered he couldn't.

no one there would waste time trying to explain "controlled drinking" to him because really, most people only learn from their own experiences.

he's not quitting. that's really all you need to know. in all liklihood, it will creep back up from 5% to 20% to all out binge quite quickly. plus, he could be lying about it too.

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Old 05-21-2010, 08:29 AM
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I didn't get into trouble every time I drank either but, everytime I got into trouble I'd been drinking.

duh

After 11 DUI's he's not still driving is he??



We alcoholics are such lousy liars
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:44 AM
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I was shocked to read the 11 DUI's. Then I thought, "how can this person think he does not have a drinking problem, it defies belief." However, then I think about how my Ex A lost her House, life savings, parents, friends, family, me.......and yet still thinks that nothing is wrong.
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