Feeling robbed of a life.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Feeling robbed of a life.
Had an experience today that reminded me of how I felt "robbed" in life.
Someone I know is dying, has been hanging on to parent a 12 year old who lost his mother at 2. This person today admitted that he lost the love of his life, 10 years after the fact he still mourns. He is raising her child in her honor. I admire what he is doing.
I knew his wife and assisted her when she was pregnant to have this child to undo her regrets of the past in giving up another child at an early age. She died when he was two. I assisted her through her in/out of her addiction. She was good through the pregnancy.
That was 10 years ago. Now her husband is struggling to stay alive for this child in her honor. I realized today, how angry I was when she died. She died while clean and sober and I realized I felt she was robbed. Today I realized her son and her husband were robbed of a live with her b/c of the D/A.
I feel for her husband but more for the son who will grow up without his parents. I also grew up without my parents. I have never been so aware of how this illness hurts the ones we love.
My husband has no idea or can't deal with how many people he has hurt and robbed, nor how much he has allowed this illness to rob him of a life. It has been a tough one today.
Someone I know is dying, has been hanging on to parent a 12 year old who lost his mother at 2. This person today admitted that he lost the love of his life, 10 years after the fact he still mourns. He is raising her child in her honor. I admire what he is doing.
I knew his wife and assisted her when she was pregnant to have this child to undo her regrets of the past in giving up another child at an early age. She died when he was two. I assisted her through her in/out of her addiction. She was good through the pregnancy.
That was 10 years ago. Now her husband is struggling to stay alive for this child in her honor. I realized today, how angry I was when she died. She died while clean and sober and I realized I felt she was robbed. Today I realized her son and her husband were robbed of a live with her b/c of the D/A.
I feel for her husband but more for the son who will grow up without his parents. I also grew up without my parents. I have never been so aware of how this illness hurts the ones we love.
My husband has no idea or can't deal with how many people he has hurt and robbed, nor how much he has allowed this illness to rob him of a life. It has been a tough one today.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Kassie, thank you for posting this. Alcoholism is such a horrible, hurtful illness. I'm sorry that you're all going through it. Wishing you all strength and comfort while dealing with this painful time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
I wanted to share an early experience in alanon. A woman who seemed to be a many of the meetings I attended spoke often but strong. One night she broke down, she recalled the many generations of destruction from this illness. She expressed her anger at the illness that night and it hit me hard. I thought I understood what she was saying.
I have thought about that night many times. It reminds me to focus on the problem and not the person. It is a struggle. My A is treating me with a lot of anger in the past two weeks. Luckily we don't live together so I get a break. But there are times when I consider all the lives that have been affected by his drinking, and I am another casualty. I am not alone.
I have thought about that night many times. It reminds me to focus on the problem and not the person. It is a struggle. My A is treating me with a lot of anger in the past two weeks. Luckily we don't live together so I get a break. But there are times when I consider all the lives that have been affected by his drinking, and I am another casualty. I am not alone.
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