Prayer and Patience
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Prayer and Patience
Well, 8 weeks and going strong on the NC. I feel proud of that and am amazed that I have fought off the temptation every time. Had an urge to call XAGF mother yesterday to apologize for that last time she called me 4 weeks ago. Thinking more she did care and felt bad. Knew if I called it was a back door motive though. It passed.
In the last 4 weeks I've gone through three of them without online checking. One of those weeks I checked alot during the week. Looking back, nothing has changed with her. She's focused on the new person and appears very wanting, definetely. I'm not mad at her anymore, feel bad that she is trapped. Thus, I've prayed for her alot and with belief that HP is now in her life being I'm out.
During my therapy I gave her a grade "B" up from a "C" since she had not called/texted me. I am not ready, or am not done rebuilding and focusing myself on me yet. I'm on the path to it, just afraid at times and sit down waiting for a car to come by and give me a ride instead of walking. It takes alot of effort - this path. I've been emotionally exhausted at times this week. My prayer life is really strong and I'm in the Word.
I would of never guessed this Spring I'd be where I'm at. I would not change it though as I've become stronger with HP this past 6 weeks. It would be easy to find another W to rid me of being lonely; it would be easy to call her; it would be easy to find something to fill my hole. However, the hole I have now is slowly being filled with HP's grace and love. That's where I'm at, thank you for reading.
In the last 4 weeks I've gone through three of them without online checking. One of those weeks I checked alot during the week. Looking back, nothing has changed with her. She's focused on the new person and appears very wanting, definetely. I'm not mad at her anymore, feel bad that she is trapped. Thus, I've prayed for her alot and with belief that HP is now in her life being I'm out.
During my therapy I gave her a grade "B" up from a "C" since she had not called/texted me. I am not ready, or am not done rebuilding and focusing myself on me yet. I'm on the path to it, just afraid at times and sit down waiting for a car to come by and give me a ride instead of walking. It takes alot of effort - this path. I've been emotionally exhausted at times this week. My prayer life is really strong and I'm in the Word.
I would of never guessed this Spring I'd be where I'm at. I would not change it though as I've become stronger with HP this past 6 weeks. It would be easy to find another W to rid me of being lonely; it would be easy to call her; it would be easy to find something to fill my hole. However, the hole I have now is slowly being filled with HP's grace and love. That's where I'm at, thank you for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Hi tpen,
I think it is great that you have been able to resist both contact and snooping. That is huge. Letting go.
I also think it is a huge step for your spiritual growth and learning that will be there for you through the rest of your life.
Everyone's moving forward looks different. I can appreciate your ability to take it slow - IMO only - it is a good step.
I think it is great that you have been able to resist both contact and snooping. That is huge. Letting go.
I also think it is a huge step for your spiritual growth and learning that will be there for you through the rest of your life.
Everyone's moving forward looks different. I can appreciate your ability to take it slow - IMO only - it is a good step.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
