Get so fed up sometimes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Get so fed up sometimes
stbxah is such a passive aggressive person and there are days I wish I never had to deal with his garbage again. I had scheduled a short parent teacher conference for our younger son this a.m. I never schedule appts. right away in the a.m. because things are so hectic--but I scheduled it when I did because I would be dropping him off at preschool anyway and then could just go right to work.
Well, stbxah finally got an apartment. When I made the appt. he was not living anywhere so I always took the kids to school and preschool. This is the 2nd time he has taken them overnight.
I completely forgot about the appt. (because I was not dropping younger DS off this morning--he was) and does he call me when the appt. is about to begin or before to ask where I am? No, he waits until it is over and then calls me and the first words out of his mouth are "where were you?" in a very accusatory voice and starts to argue and then tell me he has the kids' dirty clothes can he stop by work to drop them off.
I told him if he could not talk to me in a civil voice the conversation would end and then he started his usual quacking so I hung up. Got to work and emailed him and told him in the future if I am not where I am supposed to be that it would be a good idea to call me BEFORE the appointment and if for some reason I was not able to make it he could put me on speaker phone.
Lesson learned-never make appts. in the a.m. anymore when stbxah is dropping kids off (because I know I will forget because I am so busy).
I have to be honest--I did totally space out the appt. because I was not dropping the kids off this morning. Also, this morning was the 2nd weekday morning in 9 months when I could get up and take my time getting ready for work-and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. But my guilt hammer is hitting me over the head saying idiot, idiot, idiot! I did call the preschool and apologize and ask them to call me if there were things discussed this morning that we have not talked about or to leave me a note if there were specific things they would like me to work on with younger DS.
But I still feel rattled--and I am not sure why.
Well, stbxah finally got an apartment. When I made the appt. he was not living anywhere so I always took the kids to school and preschool. This is the 2nd time he has taken them overnight.
I completely forgot about the appt. (because I was not dropping younger DS off this morning--he was) and does he call me when the appt. is about to begin or before to ask where I am? No, he waits until it is over and then calls me and the first words out of his mouth are "where were you?" in a very accusatory voice and starts to argue and then tell me he has the kids' dirty clothes can he stop by work to drop them off.
I told him if he could not talk to me in a civil voice the conversation would end and then he started his usual quacking so I hung up. Got to work and emailed him and told him in the future if I am not where I am supposed to be that it would be a good idea to call me BEFORE the appointment and if for some reason I was not able to make it he could put me on speaker phone.
Lesson learned-never make appts. in the a.m. anymore when stbxah is dropping kids off (because I know I will forget because I am so busy).
I have to be honest--I did totally space out the appt. because I was not dropping the kids off this morning. Also, this morning was the 2nd weekday morning in 9 months when I could get up and take my time getting ready for work-and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. But my guilt hammer is hitting me over the head saying idiot, idiot, idiot! I did call the preschool and apologize and ask them to call me if there were things discussed this morning that we have not talked about or to leave me a note if there were specific things they would like me to work on with younger DS.
But I still feel rattled--and I am not sure why.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: england
Posts: 162
So bloody what,dont let it get to you.
We all forget you know and he is gonna try everything in the book to make you seem like the bad one.
If he was that bothered why didnt he call you before?
You know why?
Because it suited him for you not to make it!
Youve got nothing to feel bad about. xx
We all forget you know and he is gonna try everything in the book to make you seem like the bad one.
If he was that bothered why didnt he call you before?
You know why?
Because it suited him for you not to make it!
Youve got nothing to feel bad about. xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Celticghirl-thank you-I needed that. I need to get back to therapy because sometimes, in the back of my mind, I must still think I must have done something wrong or this would not have rattled me so much. I know stbxah was quacking--but it got to me and it should not have.
Preschool called me and told me I did not miss a thing. They had already provided all the information in the paperwork they sent home with me. The meeting was more for if we had questions. Obviously stbxah knew that but called anyway to try to make me feel inadequate.
Preschool called me and told me I did not miss a thing. They had already provided all the information in the paperwork they sent home with me. The meeting was more for if we had questions. Obviously stbxah knew that but called anyway to try to make me feel inadequate.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
i gotta agree with celtic girl...so bloody what...
no big deal. no harm done. you're busy, you forgot one appointment. it's no big deal.
not sure i understand the need to drop off the dirty laundry at your work...what's that about? that's just weird, mev behavior imho.
naive
no big deal. no harm done. you're busy, you forgot one appointment. it's no big deal.
not sure i understand the need to drop off the dirty laundry at your work...what's that about? that's just weird, mev behavior imho.
naive
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Well whoopidy bloody do! Call out the National Guard and eat your heart out Bin Laden, you've been super-ceded as ENEMY no1.
This from a vicious, abusive and superlazy man, who wanted his kid's visitation on his terms so he wasn't put out at all, and then missed out visitation, many times altogether.
Is this not the same moron who was going for half YOUR superannuation, who didn't pay bills for months, and child support either?
HE is paying out on you for forgetting a non-vital meeting?
Celtic Girl is right on, he is delighted you weren't there as it gives him chance to rub in that you made a boo boo. You already know about making mistakes....because you married him.
And what is with the, 'HE has the kids and YOU get their dirty laundry"?
Can this man, or whatever he passes for, not handle a washing machine, water and soap powder, and if not, where does he get HIS laundry done?
AH for him is for Absolutely Hopeless.
Don't you feel like dancing around your house with joy, knowing that soon he will be your EX, not constantly in your hair, up your nose, on your back and driving you nuts with his quacking?
God bless
This from a vicious, abusive and superlazy man, who wanted his kid's visitation on his terms so he wasn't put out at all, and then missed out visitation, many times altogether.
Is this not the same moron who was going for half YOUR superannuation, who didn't pay bills for months, and child support either?
HE is paying out on you for forgetting a non-vital meeting?
Celtic Girl is right on, he is delighted you weren't there as it gives him chance to rub in that you made a boo boo. You already know about making mistakes....because you married him.
And what is with the, 'HE has the kids and YOU get their dirty laundry"?
Can this man, or whatever he passes for, not handle a washing machine, water and soap powder, and if not, where does he get HIS laundry done?
AH for him is for Absolutely Hopeless.
Don't you feel like dancing around your house with joy, knowing that soon he will be your EX, not constantly in your hair, up your nose, on your back and driving you nuts with his quacking?
God bless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
My attitude changed drastically yesterday once I picked up the kids.
Jadmach-AH Absolutely Hopelss is right!
The laundry thing is just another passive aggressive act of his. Of course he does his own laundry. He just does not want to have to do anyone else's laundry because they are not important enough and well--he wants his codie back. Wrongo Reindeer! I told him to keep the clothes, wash them and then go out and buy them some other clothes because I was not packing for the kids every week anymore. Also, both kids take medication and he was refusing to keep it at his apartment--why-because he would have to pay attention and give it to them. Older DS knows about his meds and I can always call and remind him (because the adult in his life will not rememeber). But again-he is the supposed adult and a 9 year old should not have to know when to take his medication.
Had a conversation with older DS yesterday and found out mevstbxah is now calling older DS a sh** if older DS does not do what he wants and has started pinching him again. AND--the moron asked me to switch weekends with him in a couple weeks so he could take the kids to a water park because the synod (yep, he works for a church) wants him to be part of their convention. I said yes, as long as he had the kids with him when he was working or hired a babysitter. Guess who the babysitter was going to be? Our 9 year old son! He was going to drop him and his 5 year old brother at the game room. This is a huge convention center that has a huge water park and indoor amusement park. He is leaving a 9 year old in charge of a 5 year old-by themselves. Both kids have emotional stuff that arises under normal circumstances (they were both adopted when they were about 1 year old and had been severely neglected the 1st year of their lives). So let's put a 9 year old in charge (who will be playing some game and pay no attention to where his 5 year old brother is. . .or will try to get his 5 year old brother to do something. . .and he won't and starts to rage. . . which makes the 9 year old who is still healing from PTSD start to rage. . .). What an idiot.
But he is such a good dad because he is taking them to a water park.
It is no wonder I am broke all the time because every time he pulls this crap I have to call my attorney because of course if I tell him he cannot do that then he will scream bloody murder.
I am going out this afternoon to get older DS a Firefly. I cannot keep mev from seeing the kids because he has not actually harmed them enough yet--is that ridiculous or what? Now if I go ahead and let him drop the kids off unsupervised in an area crowded with complete strangers-then something could be done. Am I going to do that-NO! Sometimes the system does not work right at all.
Jadmach-AH Absolutely Hopelss is right!
The laundry thing is just another passive aggressive act of his. Of course he does his own laundry. He just does not want to have to do anyone else's laundry because they are not important enough and well--he wants his codie back. Wrongo Reindeer! I told him to keep the clothes, wash them and then go out and buy them some other clothes because I was not packing for the kids every week anymore. Also, both kids take medication and he was refusing to keep it at his apartment--why-because he would have to pay attention and give it to them. Older DS knows about his meds and I can always call and remind him (because the adult in his life will not rememeber). But again-he is the supposed adult and a 9 year old should not have to know when to take his medication.
Had a conversation with older DS yesterday and found out mevstbxah is now calling older DS a sh** if older DS does not do what he wants and has started pinching him again. AND--the moron asked me to switch weekends with him in a couple weeks so he could take the kids to a water park because the synod (yep, he works for a church) wants him to be part of their convention. I said yes, as long as he had the kids with him when he was working or hired a babysitter. Guess who the babysitter was going to be? Our 9 year old son! He was going to drop him and his 5 year old brother at the game room. This is a huge convention center that has a huge water park and indoor amusement park. He is leaving a 9 year old in charge of a 5 year old-by themselves. Both kids have emotional stuff that arises under normal circumstances (they were both adopted when they were about 1 year old and had been severely neglected the 1st year of their lives). So let's put a 9 year old in charge (who will be playing some game and pay no attention to where his 5 year old brother is. . .or will try to get his 5 year old brother to do something. . .and he won't and starts to rage. . . which makes the 9 year old who is still healing from PTSD start to rage. . .). What an idiot.
But he is such a good dad because he is taking them to a water park.
It is no wonder I am broke all the time because every time he pulls this crap I have to call my attorney because of course if I tell him he cannot do that then he will scream bloody murder.
I am going out this afternoon to get older DS a Firefly. I cannot keep mev from seeing the kids because he has not actually harmed them enough yet--is that ridiculous or what? Now if I go ahead and let him drop the kids off unsupervised in an area crowded with complete strangers-then something could be done. Am I going to do that-NO! Sometimes the system does not work right at all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
