celticghirl

Right this is kinda off topic but not.

I am really struggling at the moment in terms of getting a job due to a criminal record that i got whilst with my exabf.

Idiot me took the blame for the damage he caused in a hotel we stayed one night,don't ask me why i done it i was just very stupid and loyal to him at that time.

I have just recieved an interview for a job at a hospital and would love to go for it but due to my criminal record i am embarrased and scared.It isnt just my criminal record,i have no passport because he ripped it up and burnt it so i have no form of identification to prove who i am and he also has my birth certificate which is not possible to get back off him.

With everything that has happened i am even too scared to go for a job that doesnt require a criminal record check because of how low and insecure i feel.

I am fed up and i just want to move on with my life but really don't know how to.

He has basically taken away my identity,along with my confidence and it is depressing the life out of me.

Did anybody that has left their a's who were not working feel scared to go out there in the big bad world and get thier lifes back on track? And if you eventually did how did you do it? Also anyone got a criminal record and has had to declare it for certain jobs and how did you go about this?

Sorry if it sounds cheeky to ask that but i just need some advice from someone who has been there and i guess just a little bit of motivation.

suki44883

Not sure how things work in your country, but here in the States, it's a simple matter to get a certified copy of your birth certificate. Regarding the passport, I've never had one, but I would think there are ways to get a duplicate. I'm sure people sometimes lose their passports so there must be a way in place to get another. So far as the criminal record, you're going to have to just suck it up and deal with it if it comes up. You cannot change the past, but you can make sure nothing like that ever happens again. If you are honest about the circumstances, that should go a long way in an interview. Hang in there, get your important papers replaced and move ahead with your life. You can do it!

Jadmack25

May I suggest you seek help from a social worker, and get advice from a legal source. I am sure that your abf has committed a federal offense in
(a)stealing your passport to start with,
(b) tearing it up and burning it.
(c) with holding your birth certificate.

Perhaps you can tell this and explain your circumstances to these people, who I am sure hear similar stories every day.

This useless and offensive bully needs a big and very nasty scare from those with the authority to make his life the hell he has made yours.
No doubt when faced with real men, he will become the miserable and gutless bully he really is.

Go for help now, so you can begin your new life as soon as possible.

God bless

Bolina

You can get a copy of your birth certificate here Registration Services - Certificate Ordering Service


You can get another passport here Replace a lost, stolen or damaged passport : Directgov - Travel and transport

As for the CRB stuff, I don't believe that it is a pass/fail test. It is more that the information is given by the police on receipt of the form and the potential employers make a decision based on the information. Of course, in this job climate, it probably won't up your chances. But there are still lots of jobs that don't require a CRB check. Was it a caution or did you go to Court?

And yes, I have (and still frequently do) feel the same as you about being scared of the world out there. For me, it's a matter of baby steps and facing little fears bit by bit. I wasn't even with my ex for that long in the scheme of things, but the experience completely screwed with my world view. It sucks.

coffeedrinker

we are very aware that the addict needs to feel the consequences of his/her actions, in order to get through that and put their lives back on track.

maybe you having a record is similar?

not that i think you "deserve" it - but, this IS a part of the life that you lived, and helped to construct, by being so intertwined with him.

i hope that doesn't sound callous. but if you can embrace this crummy deal that is now following you around, one day be grateful for all the lessons you have learned, i think you will prevail. you have a long life ahead of you. this record will fade in importance in time.

i would say to just put it out there, explain in any job interview with dignity and remorse (since in a hospital job they would do a check) then someone will hire you and be pleased with the person they got, who just made a judgement error. as soon as you cross that hurdle it will start to become part of your past, not your present.

celticghirl

Thanks for all your replies, Coffee drnker i totally agree i don't really blame him for i all as i played a part in it also,if i had of been well enough i would have dropped him at the first hurdle,something i am still working on with myself.

Jadmack; he done that that my identification last year so i don't think i would be able to get him done for it now,and personaly anything that would involve bringing the whole sorry mess up would'nt be good for me at the moment.

Bolina thankyou for the links they are a great help.

bookwyrm

Celticghirl, I replied to your duplicate post!