Emeraldstorm

Well I haven't been on the fourms in a while...my thoughts are now foggy and I can't think straight..I think it has to do with the feeling of failure..

I left my boyfriend again for the millionth time, but this time latest a lot longer then the previous times. I truly believed he would stop drinking...but I made the mistake....I thought I was smarter than this...

Right now I feel blank...trapped...alone...afraid...depressed...

We are planning to move with my friend Catie out of state...hopefully that can change things for the better...we wont be around his dad or his little brothers and sisters and then we will both be less stressed out.....worried about them eating...taking showers...going to school....we are only in our 20's I haven't even gotten a chance to live my life yet...

I just feel like a failure...i thought I was so strong...and I'm not...my mind is leaving me and I want control over it more than ANYTHING in the world, but it is so hard for me when I'm here and living with him...

absent-minded...gone...

Pelican

This is your one precious life. You have the power to choose how you will live it and with whom you will share it.

It sounds like you have reached your emotional bottom with Cory. Instead of filling you with joy and peace you are filled with depression, lack of control, feelings of being trapped, and fear.

You can change your mind about having Cory in your life.
You can start taking control of your life again. Today.

I hope you find your way to a life filled with serenity.

kittykitty

Running away with him is not going to magically solve your problems. Addiction has a nasty habit of following you around.

Only you can decide the kind of life you want to live, and what it takes to live it. Sending prayers and hugs to you.

Spiritual Seeker

Sounds like it could very well be time to leave him for the last time.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Do something besides misery and habit. Do not be afraid to dream big

Reboot

Jadmack25

Unfortunately, from experience I learned that alcoholic baggage is NEVER lost or loaded onto other destinations, as our other luggage sometimes is.

This baggage, is carry on and carry forever, unless WE decide to dump it and walk away.

How much more of Corey's baggage and drinking are you going to carry around....how much more misery are you going to live with?

If you moved every week for the next 5 years, it would not matter or change one single thing for you, as you would have taken it all with you.

It ends only when you leave it behind you and walk away.

God bless

coffeedrinker

sweetheart, do you think that when you move, you will leave a part of your personality - like your sense of humor - behind?
of course not; it is a part of you. it goes with you.

if you had diabetes, would that stay behind, because you had less stress, or weren't around someone's little brothers?

of course you see this as nonsense, but i think it is very much the same.

if your bf is an alcoholic, WHY would moving change that?

bookwyrm

In 2001 XAH and I moved to another town. He did cut back on drinking - he didn't have any drinking buddies here. But that didn't last very long - he soon found new ones. And things progressively got worse....