I feel I haven't been truthful
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by wanting 
I don't think you have to get a divorce to start taking care of yourself. I mean, what if he gets sober? What if he gets healthy? Will things work out between you if you're not healthy at that point? If you truly believe in your marriage, and you truly believe things will work out, then start the work to make yourself a healthy person who can offer something to a healthy marriage.
I don't think you have to get a divorce, ever, if you don't want to.
I also believe in God, and believe in marriage, and I was staying for the long haul. But God had other plans for me, that I still to this day sometimes fight against. My husband left me, and I now see that as God stepping in and doing something for me that I couldn't do for myself. I do still pray for him, and I do still wish things didn't have to be this way. But I trust that God has helped me onto the right path, and I have faith that he's leading the way. Sometimes, I imagine that there's this wonderful guy out there, and a wonderful marriage in my future, and that God just groans and throws his hands up in the air every time I try to resist going in that direction and try to stay stuck in a miserable situation.
I don't think you have to get a divorce, ever, if you don't want to.
I also believe in God, and believe in marriage, and I was staying for the long haul. But God had other plans for me, that I still to this day sometimes fight against. My husband left me, and I now see that as God stepping in and doing something for me that I couldn't do for myself. I do still pray for him, and I do still wish things didn't have to be this way. But I trust that God has helped me onto the right path, and I have faith that he's leading the way. Sometimes, I imagine that there's this wonderful guy out there, and a wonderful marriage in my future, and that God just groans and throws his hands up in the air every time I try to resist going in that direction and try to stay stuck in a miserable situation.
Hugs
Lulu
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
i want to say that i am grateful for this thread. a couple of weeks ago there was another one started by a member, about something she felt she should come clean about. i think there was another recently as well, but not sure...
anyway, sesh wrote a beautiful and honest post, lulu received love and support here, and the same (for the most part) with the other that i mentioned.
i, too, seek validation. it's funny how, on a message board that is completely anonymous, some of us still have the feelings that we don't wanna get caught being who we are, or that we seek approval from people that we will never meet.
it's HARD to be really, deeply truthful all the time. there are layers.
i hope that we would all feel encouraged to not be afraid to be who we are, and where we are, at any given time.
thanks, y'all
anyway, sesh wrote a beautiful and honest post, lulu received love and support here, and the same (for the most part) with the other that i mentioned.
i, too, seek validation. it's funny how, on a message board that is completely anonymous, some of us still have the feelings that we don't wanna get caught being who we are, or that we seek approval from people that we will never meet.
it's HARD to be really, deeply truthful all the time. there are layers.
i hope that we would all feel encouraged to not be afraid to be who we are, and where we are, at any given time.
thanks, y'all
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi Lulu,
I understand how you feel about marriage. I understand from a post in one of your previous threads that you are Catholic (guilt, by the way, is not exclusive to Catholics....it is a human emotion). While I am not Catholic myself, I was married this past October to a devout Catholic man in a Nuptial Mass. It is a very moving, meaningful, and beautiful ceremony.
The marriage vows during the nuptial mass are: "I, ______, take you, Lulu, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."
You deserve to be loved and honored all the days of your life, Lulu.....what makes me sad is that he does not seem to believe in those words or honor that vow right now--he is too sick and blinded by his disease.
I hope that for you these words will ultimately come to true and will pray for a happy and healthy future for both you and your husband--whatever form that takes.
Huge hugs and many prayers for peace and joy! HG
I understand how you feel about marriage. I understand from a post in one of your previous threads that you are Catholic (guilt, by the way, is not exclusive to Catholics....it is a human emotion). While I am not Catholic myself, I was married this past October to a devout Catholic man in a Nuptial Mass. It is a very moving, meaningful, and beautiful ceremony.
The marriage vows during the nuptial mass are: "I, ______, take you, Lulu, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."
You deserve to be loved and honored all the days of your life, Lulu.....what makes me sad is that he does not seem to believe in those words or honor that vow right now--he is too sick and blinded by his disease.
I hope that for you these words will ultimately come to true and will pray for a happy and healthy future for both you and your husband--whatever form that takes.
Huge hugs and many prayers for peace and joy! HG
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