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Feels like a good cry is in order..... Up until now I have been handling things really well. It's not unusual for my circle of friends and family to say to me on a daily basis "I don't know how you can be so strong, but ZI am so proud of you' Tonight I feel the exact opposite. While my stbxah is out on what I am counting his 4th date, I am sitting home with the kids, feeling overwhelmed, tired and lost. It may have something to do with the "down time" I have this weekend. I have had plans the last couple weekends and have been out with friends, ect. Today I tackled the weeding in the backyard. I was looking around at the deck that needs to be restained, the porch that needs to be restained, the kids swingset that needs to be restained, I need to add new woodchips to all of the landscaping beds, the grass is getting long...I was just feeling overwhelmed, and I think it finally sunk in that I am going to be on my own. STBXAH has offered to come and help me out with these things, he pointed out to me that it is going to be a big undertaking and if I needed his help he would give it to me. I have a lot of friends that will help me too... I am not regretting my decesion at all , but sitting home tonight while he is probably out on a date is making me feel very "disposable" After 11 long years this is the climax. He is just getting right back into the swing of things, probably using the same lies and lines he used on me when I fell hard and fast for him when we started dating. This makes my stomach turn. I can't wait for him to move out, for this to be final and to get some closure. I am gonna go hug my kids, thank my HP and have a good cry...... |
Awww... :grouphug: I'm sorry you are feeling sad, but maybe try looking at it this way. You have a home with landscaping and children who love you. You have friends who care about you and are willing to help out when needed. You have what many people can only dream of having. Sure, it takes upkeep, but that just goes along with having a home you can call your own. Dating really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd much rather spend time at home with my kids watching a funny movie on TV or reading or just hanging out than I would having to get dressed up and going out on a date. How about having a "staining party?" Go buy the stain, invite some friends over and have each one bring a dish, and afterward have a cookout. It could be a blast now that the weather is getting warmer. |
Aaawww froglegs.... Today I tackled the weeding in the backyard. I was looking around at the deck that needs to be restained, the porch that needs to be restained, the kids swingset that needs to be restained, I need to add new woodchips to all of the landscaping beds, the grass is getting long...I was just feeling overwhelmed, and I think it finally sunk in that I am going to be on my own. I dug up 3 ornery stumps yesterday... I was so relieved that I didn't have to contend with an AH... I took all my aggression :a043: on those 3 stumps and boy did I give it to them! Now I must admit that I had to learn to be handy... and it can be overwhelming... but in manageable pieces... make a list and prioritize it. Can a neighborhood kid mow your grass and add the woodchips? Heck... you might consider having a "clean-up my yard...stain the deck... he's gone party" and provide a BBQ.... It would be a great opportunity to have friends over AND get work done. There is more than one way to look at things... you're smart... you can do this... ((hugs)) **SUKI - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE** |
Sounds like you and I are of the same mind, hammerhead. ;) |
Isn't it great that we can come to this site, get some feelings out, process a little, and receive some cyber-hugs? It does sound a little overwhelming, but also that you will take care of things - with the help of your friends who surely WANT to lend a hand. You are at home with children that are needy, while he's out playing. You have certainly chosen the more noble, and rewarding of the two. The dividends that will be paid to you as a result are priceless. (((Hug))) |
I know how you feel. My Xh is on his 3rd girlfriend already, and I have yet to date. It feels lonely at times, but the thought of dating right now makes me laugh. |
I have been through that..BUT it felt great once I accomplished everything. I have never had a feeling like that in my life...oh and the date thing..I have learned it never really lasts..Most dont stick around and now I want to smack myself in the head for ever being upset up that..I too sit home with no kids. Most of my friends are just starting their families so no single ones left. I have to rebuild so I actually have something to do on Saturday nights cause I am bored beyond belief now that the house is in tip top shape...Hugs |
froglegs... While my stbxah is out on what I am counting his 4th date, I am sitting home with the kids, feeling overwhelmed, tired and lost. ... your time spent with your children is wonderful and admirable... opportunities to make wonderful memories... think of the QUALITY time you have to spend with your children. STBXAH has offered to come and help me out with these things, he pointed out to me that it is going to be a big undertaking and if I needed his help he would give it to me. I have a lot of friends that will help me too... It's not that it's a BIG job... it's a time management job.... you can manage just fine without him... you have a lot of friends that will help. I am not regretting my decesion at all , but sitting home tonight while he is probably out on a date is making me feel very "disposable" After 11 long years this is the climax. He is just getting right back into the swing of things, probably using the same lies and lines he used on me when I fell hard and fast for him when we started dating. This makes my stomach turn. I can't wait for him to move out, for this to be final and to get some closure. I am gonna go hug my kids, thank my HP and have a good cry...... BTW... you mention that you can't wait for him to move out... WTF... he's living there and NOT helping with the yard... it's not a matter of if you need him to help you do anything... but the lazy bum has his priorities all screwed up... he's out "partying" but offers to help... if you need it. WTF! Cry if you must... let it out... get it out... but please know that you are so much better than he treats you. ((more hugs to you)) |
Thanks everyone ((hugs)) My best friend just called me...I was talking to her about how I was feeling. I hate burdening my friends with this stuff, I must sound like a broken record. It's nice to have a place to come and share with people who have "been there, done that" :) I love the idea of having a party to get some things done...my friends are totally motivated by free beer and food! LOL... I love that and it makes me feel better and more hopeful already. So, who's free to stain a deck, a swing set and a patio in oh, about 2 weeks? LOL Thanks again for making me feel better. |
I'm game... but Venus seems like a very long trip is in order... how long does it take to get there? :rotfxko |
doesn't that sound fun??! where do you live, froggie? |
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