Ceres

I totally avoid this forum! I avoid all of you! which, in my case, is avoiding some of my higher power - Which these days are people who work on codependency issues!

coffeedrinker

i've been wondering where you been!

i go back to my "bad" behaviors: smoking a lot, isolating, feeling blue.

what's goin on kim?

Ceres

What's going on....

I'm dating a guy from AA who's really fun to be around and would normally be a good thing. But my head isn't in the proper place. So, I'm going to sllloooow down with this one and take a good look at my program(s) before I go into complete self-destruct mode. :-)

CAPTAINZING2000

Tougher crowd in here then the rest of the forum

Ceres

Oh yeah, that too! meanies!!! :rotfxko

iloveme

Allowing yourself to feel unworthy is dangerous.

We sabbotage all good things and healthy relationships when we believe these lies we hear or want/need to feel.

This is that "higher power thingy," Becareful please...... Being a co-dependant is sometimes worse then being homeless, hungry, or pennyless.

We are here! God Bless!

coffeedrinker

look at how smart you are - you know what to do

coffeedrinker

i thought i sent a caring response - ?

confused by your statement

Ceres

Oh he meant it in fun and complimentary (we're friends) He was pointing out that this forum tends to be tough and have some tough love. Not, not caring. :-)

Pelican

I have passed the recommended one year mark for sobriety and relationships. (while experimenting with relationships along the way)
I have passed the recommended one year mark for divorce and relationships. (while experimenting with relationships along the way)

Know what I learned after one year?

My relationship with myself is still my priority.

Know how I learned that? By trying to take my shiny new tool belt into the world and feeling protected. I found I had bought the whole, deluxe set of tools and there were lots of them but I was not skilled enough to use them. Unfortunately, when I put them to use - they weren't producing the intended results. I would relapse into using my kitchen butter knife and my fingernails to get things done.

I need that butter knife to cut butter, not to scrape someone's paint off.
I need my fingernails to scratch my head, not to dig a hole to bury someone else's mistakes.

I am comfortable working on me a little while longer.

CAPTAINZING2000

What type of sobriety does this guy have??

Ceres

12 years captain.

Pelican: sound advice as usual. :-P

Pelican

Give yourself a hug today.

One day at a time!

CAPTAINZING2000

How about you?

Learn2Live

As with everything, try for balance in your life. I tend to be extreme, black and white, no grey areas. So I have to practice having a little of this and a little of that, not eat the whole pie all at once, if you know what I mean.

Ceres

Three years in July Captain. :-)

CAPTAINZING2000

just making sure
there wasn't a matter of 13 stepping going on

Ceres

One issue with the dating that's weird is that this man does not need, get all romanticized, or seeks a relationship necessarily.

So, the codie in me says: You don't need Mwah? Huh? I need to be needed! <ha, ha, ha> I'm gonna smash this thought.

ItsmeAlice

Fantastic thread!

I've been daydreaming a lot about getting on with things like dating and taking this forum off my daily to do list.
Like Pelican, I look at my handy dandy new tool belt and get chomping at the bit to build myself the Taj Mahal.

It's a thread like this that reminds me that I still need a little accountability in my life (this forum fills that bill just right for me) and I ought to try something a little more in keeping with my skill set....like a birdhouse....before I go running off thinking I'm some sort of carpenter.

Alizerin, thanks for posting where you're head's at right now. It's been an eye opener for me.

See, you are needed. Right here!

Alice