Wife and I don't speak
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Originally Posted by Catkill23 
just confused, some girls don't like to be asked any questions and I know the fragile nature of being loved. Some run away when they feel loved, so I thought maybe not showing love might work.
It's not about getting her to respond the way you want. It's about communication. Being your true self. If she doesn't want your true self, then she doesn't want you and nothing will "work."
My advice? Stop playing games. Start being real. It will either work out, or it won't. Do you really want a marriage where you have to think about showing love, not showing love, asking questions, not asking questions?
L
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
If I was in the situation, I would be myself and do my own thing but at the same time leave the door open for her and show interest. Have you guys talked about her pain yet? Have you asked about her pain?
Hugs,
Lulu
Hugs,
Lulu
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by Catkill23
just confused, Some run away when they feel loved, so I thought maybe not showing love might work. Sounds wierd but just stating the facts. It sounds like if I just keep doing what I'm doing I'm fine, in 96 months or so we should be fine.
I am confused now.
some girls don't like to be asked any questions and I know the fragile nature of being loved.
Some run away when they feel loved, so I thought maybe not showing love might work. Sounds wierd but just stating the facts.
It sounds like if I just keep doing what I'm doing I'm fine, in 96 months or so we should be fine
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I think my replying to you is the definition of insanity, and with that I give.
Thank you for this lesson Catkill.
Beth
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Catkill.you are newly sober and dealing with all the feelings that are numbed for sooo long. The alcohol has been removed, and you are left there bare, exposed trying to relearn how to be in a loving relationship.
Be honest..if you miss her, simply say, I miss you. If you want to say I love you, say I love you. Don't try to figure out what she is thinking or what you think she wants.
Healthy relationships aren't about figuring out someone else and trying to do what we think they would like us to.
Keep working your recovery program..you have to be sober to live, with or without her. Ask your sponsor for advice. Have you done a fourth step yet? If you have, have you done your ninth step and made amends? If you have, I am sure you know that the amends are for you to clean your house. Wether or not others accept our amends is a different story. Again, keep on working your recovery program.
I am also going to recommend reading Co-Dependent No More..I know it sounds crazy as you are the A...but, it is a blue print for healthy living and relationships.
Be honest..if you miss her, simply say, I miss you. If you want to say I love you, say I love you. Don't try to figure out what she is thinking or what you think she wants.
Healthy relationships aren't about figuring out someone else and trying to do what we think they would like us to.
Keep working your recovery program..you have to be sober to live, with or without her. Ask your sponsor for advice. Have you done a fourth step yet? If you have, have you done your ninth step and made amends? If you have, I am sure you know that the amends are for you to clean your house. Wether or not others accept our amends is a different story. Again, keep on working your recovery program.
I am also going to recommend reading Co-Dependent No More..I know it sounds crazy as you are the A...but, it is a blue print for healthy living and relationships.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
My perspective, having been married to an alcoholic for 18 years:
Being married to an alcoholic is like living life in a constant state of anxiety. You never know what's going to happen. You're always trying to prepare for the next crisis, anticipate the next emergency, prevent the next disaster, or clean up the latest mess. Hypervigilance is what my therapist called it.
While I was spending all my time sticking my fingers in the dike trying to prevent the flood, I was building up a huge amount of anger and resentment. However, I had no time to deal with it because I was on constant alert, not to mention taking care of all the responsibilities of TWO people, because he was taking care of zero of them. So, all that anger got stuffed down and buried in favor of just surviving.
So, I think at some point, it all has to stop. Whether the alcoholic gets sober, leaves, or dies--or the spouse leaves, the crises eventually end. THEN is when I finally had a chance to stop and breathe. And what did I find when I did? All that anger I had been stuffing! Man O' man, there was a lot of it, too. It came rushing right back like a tidal wave. In fact, for some time, it was more like intense, burning rage, than just merely anger.
It took me a good long time to work through all of that, and I have to say, if he had been pushing me to let it go and pretend like things were just fine, it would have only made it worse.
L
Being married to an alcoholic is like living life in a constant state of anxiety. You never know what's going to happen. You're always trying to prepare for the next crisis, anticipate the next emergency, prevent the next disaster, or clean up the latest mess. Hypervigilance is what my therapist called it.
While I was spending all my time sticking my fingers in the dike trying to prevent the flood, I was building up a huge amount of anger and resentment. However, I had no time to deal with it because I was on constant alert, not to mention taking care of all the responsibilities of TWO people, because he was taking care of zero of them. So, all that anger got stuffed down and buried in favor of just surviving.
So, I think at some point, it all has to stop. Whether the alcoholic gets sober, leaves, or dies--or the spouse leaves, the crises eventually end. THEN is when I finally had a chance to stop and breathe. And what did I find when I did? All that anger I had been stuffing! Man O' man, there was a lot of it, too. It came rushing right back like a tidal wave. In fact, for some time, it was more like intense, burning rage, than just merely anger.
It took me a good long time to work through all of that, and I have to say, if he had been pushing me to let it go and pretend like things were just fine, it would have only made it worse.
L
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
JoeVet:
I totally understand how you feel. The process of recovery while my AH was in rehab consisted of him telling me I "didn't get it", him expecting everything to magically be "fixed", and me feeling so very grateful for that time away from him.
While I understand that early recovery is by necessity a selfish thing, I don't feel like a "I know it's going to be hard, I know it's been hell living and dealing with me these past years, I know you'll find it hard to trust in me and the recovery process" is too much to ask.
I insisted my AH go to an Oxford House after rehab. He had been sending me nasty letters while in rehab, passing blame and insisting that I just didn't get it. I got it just fine. I knew in my gut that there was little actual recovery or growth going on, and a lot of manipulation.
It never got any better. Oh, for a few weeks after he did come home things were smooth, but it didn't last long. And guess what? It's my fault
Anyway, just adding this to say that YES, you have every reason to mistrust, and YES you have every reason to doubt. You also have every reason to be enjoying some peace and serenity in your home.
I can't understand the mindset of early recovery, but my gut feeling is that anyone in rehab who is "excited" to leave the shelter of that setting and go back to where they don't have a support group in place is perhaps not being honest with themselves.
I would be very cautious of letting that person back in my life.
I totally understand how you feel. The process of recovery while my AH was in rehab consisted of him telling me I "didn't get it", him expecting everything to magically be "fixed", and me feeling so very grateful for that time away from him.
While I understand that early recovery is by necessity a selfish thing, I don't feel like a "I know it's going to be hard, I know it's been hell living and dealing with me these past years, I know you'll find it hard to trust in me and the recovery process" is too much to ask.
I insisted my AH go to an Oxford House after rehab. He had been sending me nasty letters while in rehab, passing blame and insisting that I just didn't get it. I got it just fine. I knew in my gut that there was little actual recovery or growth going on, and a lot of manipulation.
It never got any better. Oh, for a few weeks after he did come home things were smooth, but it didn't last long. And guess what? It's my fault
Anyway, just adding this to say that YES, you have every reason to mistrust, and YES you have every reason to doubt. You also have every reason to be enjoying some peace and serenity in your home.
I can't understand the mindset of early recovery, but my gut feeling is that anyone in rehab who is "excited" to leave the shelter of that setting and go back to where they don't have a support group in place is perhaps not being honest with themselves.
I would be very cautious of letting that person back in my life.
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Originally Posted by Catkill23
just confused, some girls don't like to be asked any questions and I know the fragile nature of being loved. Some run away when they feel loved, so I thought maybe not showing love might work. Sounds wierd but just stating the facts. It sounds like if I just keep doing what I'm doing I'm fine, in 96 months or so we should be fine.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 26
Catkill, I'm impressed. I don't know about the other NA spouses/partners here but for me, "hearing" you gives me hope. Thank-you for being willing to coming to this forum and asking for advice.
So here's my "hard" line, if you will, you're at the next hard part big guy. Just like all these other folks have been telling you, mending your relationship has JUST begun and I don't think there's any timeline but I don't think 8 months is enough either. I think where you are is why most of these relationships don't make it. The A and NA have to face everything, their character defects, their disappointsments, their lack of power, and worst of all the hurt they contributed. I BELIEVE us NA do our fair share of hurtful things, it just the mouse in the corner versus the elepant, if you follow my meaning.
You are getting a taste of what you've "done" to your wife all this time, she's been waiting for you to realize you have a problem and get help. And lots of us are marters, so to finally get what we've hoped, prayed and begged for only to get it and find out WE have a problem and WE contributed our part to your problem too - man oh man is that a HARD pill to swallow. We were victims! Weren't we? ;-)
Remember all of your anger? Remember how your addiction took you away from it for a while and anyone that told you there was something wrong with it ticked you right off? Here's your mirror. You may or may not be able to handle it. I think it depends on what kind of man you want to be and I don't say that in the degrading, challenging way, I mean it in the honest, straight forward, all the cards on the table way. If you're not the kind of man that can work his program and be patient with the situation he's created and wait like your wife waited for you, it will feel bad, there will be people that put you down and say bad things about you but your hp will still love you, I will still love you as a person and many others will as well - nothing changes that.
If there is something more inside of you, and I have a feeling there is or you wouldn't have stepped into this possible lion's den, then work your program, accept where you and your wife are today and remember THINGS ALWAYS CHANGE. Those of us trapped in addiction forget that. I did just today until I read this and was moved to post. Thank-you, you helped one NA today and tomorrow is another day. Maybe it will be the day your wife finally sees and hears. Good luck! I'm pulling and praying for you.
PS - Do you understand how to romance a woman? If so, start THAT because I doesn't seem like you have from your posts. If not, there are lots of books on it. :-)
So here's my "hard" line, if you will, you're at the next hard part big guy. Just like all these other folks have been telling you, mending your relationship has JUST begun and I don't think there's any timeline but I don't think 8 months is enough either. I think where you are is why most of these relationships don't make it. The A and NA have to face everything, their character defects, their disappointsments, their lack of power, and worst of all the hurt they contributed. I BELIEVE us NA do our fair share of hurtful things, it just the mouse in the corner versus the elepant, if you follow my meaning.
You are getting a taste of what you've "done" to your wife all this time, she's been waiting for you to realize you have a problem and get help. And lots of us are marters, so to finally get what we've hoped, prayed and begged for only to get it and find out WE have a problem and WE contributed our part to your problem too - man oh man is that a HARD pill to swallow. We were victims! Weren't we? ;-)
Remember all of your anger? Remember how your addiction took you away from it for a while and anyone that told you there was something wrong with it ticked you right off? Here's your mirror. You may or may not be able to handle it. I think it depends on what kind of man you want to be and I don't say that in the degrading, challenging way, I mean it in the honest, straight forward, all the cards on the table way. If you're not the kind of man that can work his program and be patient with the situation he's created and wait like your wife waited for you, it will feel bad, there will be people that put you down and say bad things about you but your hp will still love you, I will still love you as a person and many others will as well - nothing changes that.
If there is something more inside of you, and I have a feeling there is or you wouldn't have stepped into this possible lion's den, then work your program, accept where you and your wife are today and remember THINGS ALWAYS CHANGE. Those of us trapped in addiction forget that. I did just today until I read this and was moved to post. Thank-you, you helped one NA today and tomorrow is another day. Maybe it will be the day your wife finally sees and hears. Good luck! I'm pulling and praying for you.
PS - Do you understand how to romance a woman? If so, start THAT because I doesn't seem like you have from your posts. If not, there are lots of books on it. :-)
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 26
I thought I was at the end of the thread when I made my last post so here's my answer to your last question. If a man was walking on eggshells around me after he put me through all the things you've put your wife through I'd be MAD but I'm a strong, fiery, independent woman. So, I would ask you "Do you know your wife?" Chances are you really don't and you need to understand who she is to answer the questions you're asking. Honesty is the best policy.
I was married to a A and I realized some really important things about myself after he left; I was using him to try and repair my childhood with alcohol and drug abusers but more importantly I've been in love with one man my whole life and it wasn't my AH. That is my shameful culpability in that relationship.
The man I've always loved I've known since I was 15 and he's been abusing some substance or other all these 20 years that have passed now and I wouldn't be with him because of it. About a year ago he finally decided he wanted to quit everything but he wasn't serious about working a program or having a plan. So, I bowed out BEFORE everything got crazy (I have horrible guilt about that) and I will tell you this, he was very honest with me about the things he didn't know how to do. He didn't know how to take care of anyone, not even himself, he doesn't know anything but anger and doesn't even know if he remembers what made him so angry that he started to use to escape, he doesn't understand how a hp can help, let alone exist.
All of these things he's told me and they were HARD to hear, some of them even made me angry but I respected him for being honest. If he ever gets serious about working a program or a plan like you are and he wants me back I will be right there because we have respect. Your relationship doesn't have any respect anymore but you CAN get it back.
The man inside you understands he's messed up big time, the damage he's caused, that he loves his wife and wants her in his life, that all of this is complicated and will take time, and that he's dealing with a disease he has to work on every day. I "hear" those things in your posts, don't forget that you're a MAN but you've been letting the child in you rule the roost all the while you were drinking. You're not drinking anymore, you're not a child anymore. Men know what their wives need and if they don't they HUNT down what they don't know until they find it! You can ask us, read books, go to meetings and marriage counseling and all of that will help you in your hunt but ultimately you have to know - you have the answer.
I was married to a A and I realized some really important things about myself after he left; I was using him to try and repair my childhood with alcohol and drug abusers but more importantly I've been in love with one man my whole life and it wasn't my AH. That is my shameful culpability in that relationship.
The man I've always loved I've known since I was 15 and he's been abusing some substance or other all these 20 years that have passed now and I wouldn't be with him because of it. About a year ago he finally decided he wanted to quit everything but he wasn't serious about working a program or having a plan. So, I bowed out BEFORE everything got crazy (I have horrible guilt about that) and I will tell you this, he was very honest with me about the things he didn't know how to do. He didn't know how to take care of anyone, not even himself, he doesn't know anything but anger and doesn't even know if he remembers what made him so angry that he started to use to escape, he doesn't understand how a hp can help, let alone exist.
All of these things he's told me and they were HARD to hear, some of them even made me angry but I respected him for being honest. If he ever gets serious about working a program or a plan like you are and he wants me back I will be right there because we have respect. Your relationship doesn't have any respect anymore but you CAN get it back.
The man inside you understands he's messed up big time, the damage he's caused, that he loves his wife and wants her in his life, that all of this is complicated and will take time, and that he's dealing with a disease he has to work on every day. I "hear" those things in your posts, don't forget that you're a MAN but you've been letting the child in you rule the roost all the while you were drinking. You're not drinking anymore, you're not a child anymore. Men know what their wives need and if they don't they HUNT down what they don't know until they find it! You can ask us, read books, go to meetings and marriage counseling and all of that will help you in your hunt but ultimately you have to know - you have the answer.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by KeepPedaling
So true. But I can't help but think, "Dang, she should have just walked away. It's so not worth it."
I for one, am so so glad that I walked away. I can't help but feel like 90% of sober alcoholics remain the selfish whiney self-absorbed babies that they were when they were drinking. It's not like people ever get thanked or appreciated for sticking around and suffering the alcoholics. More importantly, save the precious few couples, it's not like they ever achieve even the most tattered, fragile bond of true intimacy. They get the exact opposite.
I for one, am so so glad that I walked away. I can't help but feel like 90% of sober alcoholics remain the selfish whiney self-absorbed babies that they were when they were drinking. It's not like people ever get thanked or appreciated for sticking around and suffering the alcoholics. More importantly, save the precious few couples, it's not like they ever achieve even the most tattered, fragile bond of true intimacy. They get the exact opposite.
Sticking around is HORRIBLY hard for loved ones of the addict.
They've done so much damage that even amnesia wouldn't block out the pain of their actions.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by Catkill23
just confused, some girls don't like to be asked any questions and I know the fragile nature of being loved. Some run away when they feel loved, so I thought maybe not showing love might work. Sounds wierd but just stating the facts. It sounds like if I just keep doing what I'm doing I'm fine, in 96 months or so we should be fine.
Showing love will work, not showing love will get her into the arms of someone who can show it
a fantasic thread by the way. Cat, keep posting. It's hard to hear some of these things, but I think it will help you grow.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
Might work? Work how? Maybe you should concern yourself with being honest and genuine and let the chips fall where they may.
It's not about getting her to respond the way you want. It's about communication. Being your true self. If she doesn't want your true self, then she doesn't want you and nothing will "work."
My advice? Stop playing games. Start being real. It will either work out, or it won't. Do you really want a marriage where you have to think about showing love, not showing love, asking questions, not asking questions?
L
It's not about getting her to respond the way you want. It's about communication. Being your true self. If she doesn't want your true self, then she doesn't want you and nothing will "work."
My advice? Stop playing games. Start being real. It will either work out, or it won't. Do you really want a marriage where you have to think about showing love, not showing love, asking questions, not asking questions?
L
If men would only just apply this.
The games my boyfriend plays are just nuts, and SO obvious!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by ANEWAUGUST
Catkill.you are newly sober and dealing with all the feelings that are numbed for sooo long. The alcohol has been removed, and you are left there bare, exposed trying to relearn how to be in a loving relationship.
Be honest..if you miss her, simply say, I miss you. If you want to say I love you, say I love you. Don't try to figure out what she is thinking or what you think she wants.
Healthy relationships aren't about figuring out someone else and trying to do what we think they would like us to.
Keep working your recovery program..you have to be sober to live, with or without her. Ask your sponsor for advice. Have you done a fourth step yet? If you have, have you done your ninth step and made amends? If you have, I am sure you know that the amends are for you to clean your house. Wether or not others accept our amends is a different story. Again, keep on working your recovery program.
I am also going to recommend reading Co-Dependent No More..I know it sounds crazy as you are the A...but, it is a blue print for healthy living and relationships.
Be honest..if you miss her, simply say, I miss you. If you want to say I love you, say I love you. Don't try to figure out what she is thinking or what you think she wants.
Healthy relationships aren't about figuring out someone else and trying to do what we think they would like us to.
Keep working your recovery program..you have to be sober to live, with or without her. Ask your sponsor for advice. Have you done a fourth step yet? If you have, have you done your ninth step and made amends? If you have, I am sure you know that the amends are for you to clean your house. Wether or not others accept our amends is a different story. Again, keep on working your recovery program.
I am also going to recommend reading Co-Dependent No More..I know it sounds crazy as you are the A...but, it is a blue print for healthy living and relationships.
Feeling vulnerable is not an option for some
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: NE
Posts: 69
Great advice, I have another question. Why doesn't the NAW just leave if you are miserable. If friends are more important then me and our Son then go get your happiness that you are seeking, I want the NAW to be happy. Do they think something is going to change more than we've changed already. It probably will as it is every day, but she doesn't get to see it and will miss out. What really does the NA want? From what I can tell they are fearful of growing up as they never have had it, and still want to party with alchoholics, but just can't stand to live with them. The next day the Gossip all starts again, and you are searching for something you will never get, until you realize you are freaking in a hospital bed and your kids hate you for being immature. Why is it hard for people to see this in general.
Are 36 year old women this immature? I couldn't handle the gossip, parties etc.. as I told them all to grow up and they thought I was funny. So I guess I showed them by almost dying by playing hard. They wanted me to play, but don't play too hard. Wish I could give some peace I have now away.
It seems that control is a big issue for the NAW, as she thinks she can't control me and make me jealous anymore. I know I was asking secrets of the secret women's handbook, but maybe someone can give a hint to this secret. Some of the posts say to be honest in the relationship both of us or just me, and also there was a post that said not loving will cause them to withdraw, leave, etc.. Is this for both the man and women or just the women secrets handbook.
Are 36 year old women this immature? I couldn't handle the gossip, parties etc.. as I told them all to grow up and they thought I was funny. So I guess I showed them by almost dying by playing hard. They wanted me to play, but don't play too hard. Wish I could give some peace I have now away.
It seems that control is a big issue for the NAW, as she thinks she can't control me and make me jealous anymore. I know I was asking secrets of the secret women's handbook, but maybe someone can give a hint to this secret. Some of the posts say to be honest in the relationship both of us or just me, and also there was a post that said not loving will cause them to withdraw, leave, etc.. Is this for both the man and women or just the women secrets handbook.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
Catkill - I think maybe you should re-read all the posts in your thread, because all these questions you are asking have already been answered. From your responses it sometimes seems like you're not really reading what people are telling you?!
Have you asked your wife that?
May I ask how old you are? Why don't you focus more on you and how immature you have been all these years and stop looking down on other people. Did people tell you, you were less than when you first started recovery? I doubt it. Accept that not everyone is at the same point in their lives - some are much further along in recovery than you, some are not.
BTW, while a lot of us NA have similiar issues we are not all the same... we all have different personalities and characteristics ... we are all individuals. So the only person who would really be able to answer all your questions are your wife and to an extent you yourself (if you were to really try to understand your wife).
I for one am not much of a partier anymore and right now try to avoid people that drink too much. Everyone is different though.
I seems to me that there are still a lot of games that are being played in your relationship. Revisit one of the previous responses in your thread that touched on this topic. If you don't want to play games anymore than simply don't engage... AND don't play games yourself!
Sounds to me like you need to do some soulsearching and see if you can answer your own questions. What is it that you want in a relationship/ marriage? What is important for you in a relationship/ marriage (i.e. do you want a relationship in which both partners are honest, or is it ok for you to have a relationship in which only one partner - you - is honest?)? How would you feel if you're wife was not showing you any love/ affection (would you withdraw, or would you feel good about it? BTW someone in this thread touched on that very topic - you are still playing games and still trying to manipulate another person into acting the way you want her to act - Again "say what you mean and mean what you say" don't try to be someone you're not, just to get a reaction out of someone else.
Ok and that's it from me - because I'm starting to get really frustrated here!
I hope you find some time to sit down and really figure out what it is you want in your life (defining it very clearly), who you are, why you do what you do. Try to answer all these questions yourself, because in the end there is no growth, if you simply take on other people's opinions.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
What really does the NA want?
Originally Posted by Catkill23
From what I can tell they are fearful of growing up as they never have had it, and still want to party with alchoholics, but just can't stand to live with them.....
Are 36 year old women this immature? I couldn't handle the gossip, parties etc.. as I told them all to grow up and they thought I was funny.
Are 36 year old women this immature? I couldn't handle the gossip, parties etc.. as I told them all to grow up and they thought I was funny.
BTW, while a lot of us NA have similiar issues we are not all the same... we all have different personalities and characteristics ... we are all individuals. So the only person who would really be able to answer all your questions are your wife and to an extent you yourself (if you were to really try to understand your wife).
I for one am not much of a partier anymore and right now try to avoid people that drink too much. Everyone is different though.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
It seems that control is a big issue for the NAW, as she thinks she can't control me and make me jealous anymore.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
I know I was asking secrets of the secret women's handbook, but maybe someone can give a hint to this secret. Some of the posts say to be honest in the relationship both of us or just me, and also there was a post that said not loving will cause them to withdraw, leave, etc.. Is this for both the man and women or just the women secrets handbook.
Ok and that's it from me - because I'm starting to get really frustrated here!
I hope you find some time to sit down and really figure out what it is you want in your life (defining it very clearly), who you are, why you do what you do. Try to answer all these questions yourself, because in the end there is no growth, if you simply take on other people's opinions.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: England
Posts: 741
Originally Posted by Catkill23
Great advice, I have another question. Why doesn't the NAW just leave if you are miserable.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
If friends are more important then me and our Son then go get your happiness that you are seeking, I want the NAW to be happy.
Sounds to me like she's built a life for herself without you, which she probably had to because you were too busy with your "mistress" (alcohol) and now that you've stopped you expect her to just fall into line with your expectations of what a "happy wife" should be like.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
Are 36 year old women this immature? I couldn't handle the gossip, parties etc.. as I told them all to grow up and they thought I was funny. So I guess I showed them by almost dying by playing hard. They wanted me to play, but don't play too hard. Wish I could give some peace I have now away.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
It seems that control is a big issue for the NAW, as she thinks she can't control me and make me jealous anymore.
Originally Posted by Catkill23
I know I was asking secrets of the secret women's handbook, but maybe someone can give a hint to this secret. Some of the posts say to be honest in the relationship both of us or just me, and also there was a post that said not loving will cause them to withdraw, leave, etc.. Is this for both the man and women or just the women secrets handbook.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central, La.
Posts: 422
This continues to be a great post. Really identify with being emotionally stunted. Yep, a bunch of us are. Our causes and conditions.... Couldn't identify with the, forcefully said, expression: Why don't you just grow up! I know now it wasn't the body they were talking too. It was the emotionally immature child trying to control everything because it was afraid........ Also, this comes to mind: There is a big difference between being child-like and being childish.......
Hope everyone has a great day!
Hope everyone has a great day!
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