lulu1974

tomorrow I have an interview for a job 15 mins from my house. Its less money but its much less stressful and I feel I can really focus on school and accomplish my goals. My HP brought this on and I really hope I get it.
I feel my life is finally changing. I cried a little today
But then I thought about being able to go out dancing again..
Joining the gym and meeting some people in my area...
I am so grateful to God that sooo many of my physical symptoms have gone away since I took a break from him and my stressful job. I dont feel like a walking defect anymore..
I feel hope again.
When he wished me dead earlier, I wanted to say to him...yes after being married to you I have wished myself dead at times too.
But I dont want to feel that way..
Its funny but I watched this show Kendra and she is a former Playboy girl. I have never enjoyed reality shows and she was loud and funny and living her life and it made me giggle because everyone should live out loud. Well I want too at least.
I will plant flowers soon..the first time ever in my home. Its my way of signifyning my growth. And a tree where I will scatter the ashes of my wedding photos one day. My wedding dress will go to good will.
So I actually feel for once I can make it. Not only make it but have a great life.
Alcoholism is a dreadful disease..My heart is with all those suffering or have suffered. Not many talk about the effects of it in the outside world but if they only knew. I wish we had something like AA does where when we make progress we get a hershey kiss or something.

Hugs to all of you for getting me through a hard time. The hardest time of my life..

PHIZ007

Thanks for the inspiring post full of hope and a bright bright future!

Thank you for the hope that you give me, as I am struggling with many things today whilst living with my AH.

I too love Kendra - that show brings a smile to my face - she is so.....out there!!

Enjoy planting those flowers....my hanging baskets have just come into bloom and they are looking very bright and colourful.

Take care and keep moving forward.......Phiz

lulu1974

because I am sure you know what I meant ..living with an achoholic was a very sad and quiet life..I lived on eggshells. I dont want to live on eggshells anymore.

mishaco1

I want to do this as well. Hopefully in time!

You are a very strong woman and bring hope to all of us who have not and may not make it as far as you! At least you brought some hope to me

Have fun planting your flowers and living out loud. You deserve every bit of it!

wanting

I watched the E True Hollywood Story of Kendra and it made me like her X 1,000,000! The best thing she talked about was how I guess her dad was a douchebag or something (I missed the beginning), and how she knows that girls often grow up to marry someone like their dad if he's a douche, but that she always knew she'd marry a good man, and she did. It gave me a lot of hope for my girls.

Jadmack25

Blimey Lulu, you really are making me run to keep up with you....gasp, gasp.
Ok, now I have you on todays prayer list for job interview tomorrow.
God bless

MahiMahi

Best of luck to you on your interview and thanks for reminding me to get the garden started......