Some progress
 

tomorrow I have an interview for a job 15 mins from my house. Its less money but its much less stressful and I feel I can really focus on school and accomplish my goals. My HP brought this on and I really hope I get it.
I feel my life is finally changing. I cried a little today
But then I thought about being able to go out dancing again..
Joining the gym and meeting some people in my area...
I am so grateful to God that sooo many of my physical symptoms have gone away since I took a break from him and my stressful job. I dont feel like a walking defect anymore..
I feel hope again.
When he wished me dead earlier, I wanted to say to him...yes after being married to you I have wished myself dead at times too.
But I dont want to feel that way..
Its funny but I watched this show Kendra and she is a former Playboy girl. I have never enjoyed reality shows and she was loud and funny and living her life and it made me giggle because everyone should live out loud. Well I want too at least.
I will plant flowers soon..the first time ever in my home. Its my way of signifyning my growth. And a tree where I will scatter the ashes of my wedding photos one day. My wedding dress will go to good will.
So I actually feel for once I can make it. Not only make it but have a great life.
Alcoholism is a dreadful disease..My heart is with all those suffering or have suffered. Not many talk about the effects of it in the outside world but if they only knew. I wish we had something like AA does where when we make progress we get a hershey kiss or something.

Hugs to all of you for getting me through a hard time. The hardest time of my life..

Thanks for the inspiring post full of hope and a bright bright future!

Thank you for the hope that you give me, as I am struggling with many things today whilst living with my AH.

I too love Kendra - that show brings a smile to my face - she is so.....out there!!

Enjoy planting those flowers....my hanging baskets have just come into bloom and they are looking very bright and colourful.

Take care and keep moving forward.......Phiz :You_Rock_

because I am sure you know what I meant ..living with an achoholic was a very sad and quiet life..I lived on eggshells. I dont want to live on eggshells anymore.

I want to do this as well. Hopefully in time!

You are a very strong woman and bring hope to all of us who have not and may not make it as far as you! At least you brought some hope to me :You_Rock_

Have fun planting your flowers and living out loud. You deserve every bit of it!

I watched the E True Hollywood Story of Kendra and it made me like her X 1,000,000! The best thing she talked about was how I guess her dad was a douchebag or something (I missed the beginning), and how she knows that girls often grow up to marry someone like their dad if he's a douche, but that she always knew she'd marry a good man, and she did. It gave me a lot of hope for my girls.

Blimey Lulu, you really are making me run to keep up with you....gasp, gasp.
Ok, now I have you on todays prayer list for job interview tomorrow.
God bless

http://i532.photobucket.com/albums/e...ligus/102v.jpg

Best of luck to you on your interview and thanks for reminding me to get the garden started......