Pros and Cons of Leaving - My List

Old 04-18-2010, 06:56 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: England
Posts: 425
Blog Entries: 8
1# Iím no longer responsible for a man who took more emotionally than I was able to give.
2# I donít miss coming second to his addiction.
3# Iím no longer being called cold hearted, cruel and emotionally dead on a regular because I didnít cry or show my emotions as freely as he did. Ironically, I was especially tight lipped with my feelings (towards the end) with him because I felt I had to keep it together for the both of us.
4# Iím free of the mind games and constant tussle for control and power.
5# I donít miss the few incidents when our arguments became physical, or watching the guy I love become someone who was able to use the ways Iíve been abused in the past to try control and dominate me for his own gain.
6# Iím no longer being robbed and ripped off (when I needed money for my score too) by the one person who was meant to be beside me, with me.
7# I donít wake up to the sound of rattling tin foil or get kissed with lips that taste like heroin.

1# I've never stopped loving him or known how to.
2# I lost the first and only person who showed me I had my own voice. He made me a better person. Ironically, he gave me the tools I relied on to quit heroin and leave him in the end.
3# Even now, whenever something good happens my instant thought is to share that with him, before I remember he isnít there. He's like a fantom limb.
4# I miss listening to him, his ideas, opinions, views, feelings...I miss his insights so much.
5# I miss the way he looked at me. No man, or person I know, have ever looked at me like that before or since.
6# Without him, much as my life is different in a far more positive way now, Iím a liar if I say itís always better.
7# I wake up alone now, and to absolute silence. It doesn't make me regret waking up, but I hope one day I don't have to begin every day alone.

Swings and round abouts, eh, guys
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