Blogs


Notices

Pros and Cons of Leaving - My List

Old 04-18-2010, 06:56 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Attended By a Single Hound
 
tsukiko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: England
Posts: 425
Blog Entries: 8
Pros:
1# Iím no longer responsible for a man who took more emotionally than I was able to give.
2# I donít miss coming second to his addiction.
3# Iím no longer being called cold hearted, cruel and emotionally dead on a regular because I didnít cry or show my emotions as freely as he did. Ironically, I was especially tight lipped with my feelings (towards the end) with him because I felt I had to keep it together for the both of us.
4# Iím free of the mind games and constant tussle for control and power.
5# I donít miss the few incidents when our arguments became physical, or watching the guy I love become someone who was able to use the ways Iíve been abused in the past to try control and dominate me for his own gain.
6# Iím no longer being robbed and ripped off (when I needed money for my score too) by the one person who was meant to be beside me, with me.
7# I donít wake up to the sound of rattling tin foil or get kissed with lips that taste like heroin.

Cons:
1# I've never stopped loving him or known how to.
2# I lost the first and only person who showed me I had my own voice. He made me a better person. Ironically, he gave me the tools I relied on to quit heroin and leave him in the end.
3# Even now, whenever something good happens my instant thought is to share that with him, before I remember he isnít there. He's like a fantom limb.
4# I miss listening to him, his ideas, opinions, views, feelings...I miss his insights so much.
5# I miss the way he looked at me. No man, or person I know, have ever looked at me like that before or since.
6# Without him, much as my life is different in a far more positive way now, Iím a liar if I say itís always better.
7# I wake up alone now, and to absolute silence. It doesn't make me regret waking up, but I hope one day I don't have to begin every day alone.

Swings and round abouts, eh, guys
tsukiko is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:58 AM.