Can't Believe IT....

Old 04-14-2010, 04:17 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Can't Believe IT....

I am sure that I was simply postponing the inevitable by having AH stay here during my pregnancy etc., hoping that things might change. However, as of yesterday.....I asked him to leave - and I have NO intention of changing my mind about it!! He called me all sorts of horrible names yesterday when trying to have a discusion about his job situation, then actually sat w/ my daughter on his lap and called me a b several times, then called me other names yesterday evening. Topping it off by throwing a basket of laundry at me. And is by displaying his superiority somehoe he keep make rude comments and either tapping my a or he has "ownership" of it. He is not drinking that I know of but has no nprogram, and is completely out of control........I am SO tired of worrying about what kind of mood he is it, or him yelling at me..........and do you know after he left and he texted me....and I said, "here I am pregnant and hurting laying on the bed and you throw a hole basket of laundry and the basket on me," and his response "it's not like I killed you....Jesus." I have nothing left in this relationship - so next week I am having this baby and I am no longer concerned about having help....I can do it myself.
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Old 04-14-2010, 04:27 AM
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Well. You sound determined and wise. It's great.

First, I would encourage you to contact a domestic violence hotline or shelter and just tell them what you've told us. Name calling, throwing things at you, etc is not only not acceptable, but is textbook domestic violence. Who knows what he'll do when you finally cut the strings? Please call. Today. Just talk to them, as they (not me) are capable of giving you the best advice. Helping you.

In fact this from a recent post of yours should be a huge red flag
My AH actually told me he gets joy out of hurting me......just writing that sounds horrible, and I can't believe he said that....but he did.
He doesn't love you. This is not love. But you can love yourself and your children enough to say no to him and keep your family safe.

You can do it yourself. It's amazing how much I've learned I can do. it's EASIER without the abuse and drama.

Do you have someone, anyone to go along with you when you're in labor?

Also, it will help to start lining up your friends (got any warrior buddies?) to come over and do housework. You may want to resist, but DON'T. Tell them, yes I'd love for you to see the baby. I'm scheduling folks who can bring dinner, take my daughter to the park, vacuum, etc. Whatever you think is most important.

Tell them your AH is not allowed in the house.

If you start setting up your boundaries now, firm like, you'll be grateful you did later when you're exhausted from the new baby.

Stay strong. And please, keep your boundaries firm and in place. You deserve it and so do your children.
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Old 04-14-2010, 05:29 AM
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First I would like to say congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child - despite what is going on - what a beautiful blessing that will be!!

Then let me congratulate you on finding the strength, courage and wisdom to take care of you, your daughter and your new baby by setting the healthy boundaries and setting the example for your daughter that your AH's behaviors are totally unacceptable.

I am a mother of 5 daughters - I regretfully tell you that I didn't not teach them what was unacceptable behaviors from a mate and they have suffered because of it.

Good for you for not allowing him to discount his actions - keep owning your truths.

Praying your Higher Power continues to guide you and protect you and your children!

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Old 04-14-2010, 06:19 AM
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Good god you're a strong one. I'm so glad you've decided to kick him out of your life before this new baby comes along. Will he be staying somewhere else so you can finally have a calm place to live?

Transform is right...what he's doing is abuse, pure and simple, and you need support/protection. costs you nothing and it may prove invaluable to you!
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
National Domestic Violence Hotline

Please keep us updated on what's happening!
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:50 AM
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You can do this. I raised my sons myself after leaving AH #1 when they were 3 and 6. Truly raising them alone has been one of the greatest blessings of my life- We are so close- We had hard times but I would not trade it now for anything. Stay strong!
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:07 AM
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Protecting and standing up for yourself!

I hope you NEVER get treated like dirt again!

Hugs and hope and peace,

oh, and, find some loving support for the birth/post birth so you don't feel tempted for that reason to lean on him. I am sure there are folks who would love to be there for you during that time!
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Old 04-14-2010, 06:18 PM
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I am so relieved you have kicked that flea out, (biting, irritant of an animal) and will not have him at the birth. Baby does not need that to greet them.
Hope any pain you should have, is transferred to him, with large interest.

Here's your angry pride sisters, racing to stand beside you.

As for that pig ignorant, gutless and cowardly blob of unmentionable doodoo, send him over here to me.
I am in the right mood to dish out nasties to creeps, and trust me RABF is keeping well clear.

God bless
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:11 PM
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hey, mentally, i am so very glad you posted. sometimes we just curl up and don't tell anyone, and we're surrounded by shame and sadness. you just come here 20 times a day if you want. we're cyber, but we're strong. and we love you.

please listen to transform's and noday's wise words - they know of what they speak.

and do everything in your power to:
not think of him
not communicated with him
barricard your threshhold (figuratively speaking)
line up as much real-person support as possible

don't feel for one second you're burdening anyone: what a joy and tremendous honor to be asked to help usher in a new and beautiful life!! (seriously)

don't forget to make that call. and let us know what's goin on.

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