lulu1974

I am sure you guys recall how I brought all his stuff back to his cousins house..15 boxes worth after he told me he was filing for divorce and wanted to still do our taxes?
Well, I guess he found his passport as after I told him to check his files as I never had it in the first place..no word from him.
I was going to get my taxes done today but as some of you may have heard..I took a tumble down the stairs the other day and I have to say although the foot is getting better the bruising really hurts!! So I took a painkiller this morning and of course I needed the tax from from our join checking account exxcept it would allow me (I will figure out why later) so I was forced to email him asking him why I couldnt download it. He emails it no problem and offersto do them again. I say no thanks. I am in the car, late as is going to the city to get them done and I start to get so nauseous I have to pull over and you know what..I think the pain killer didnt agreee with me..Needless to say I get upset cause I waited for this appt for a month now and I call them and they tell me to just file an extension..When I get home, like as arse that I am..I email him asking him to do them because I was even having a hard time figuring out how to file an extension. He says sure and I could drop the stuff off at his cousins or scan it to him.
I admit right here and now it was a bad idea to begin with. But I replied back saying its too much to scan to him, thank him for the offer and say I will file the extension and use the guy I was going to see.
I am not going to his cousin's house and leaving all my tax stuff there. And I am not going to let him treat me like I have the plague. I did nothing to this man and yet I cant drop my taxes off too him becaise seeing me is off limits..Like I am the bad guy. No way. Like I said it was a bad idea to begin with but having to go through his cousin MIke, his new enabler to drop off paper work is just ridiculous. I wont be made of to be the bad person. I didnt do anything to him to deserve this. So no contact it is. Things really were better that way. Thanks for letting me vent.

Freedom1990

I hope your foot gets to feeling better soon, dear! I missed the last two steps going down to my basement last year while carrying laundry and fell hard. I ended up with a stress fracture in my foot!

Be good to yourself, and NC sounds good to me! :ghug3 :ghug3

coffeedrinker

good idea. sometimes my ex sets me off when he didn't even do anything wrong! it just stirs something up i guess the less contact, usually the better.

Jadmack25

No Contact, two words meaning Peace, contentment, no quacking, no blame....Peace.

As for your feeling so ill, yes dearie, it could have been re-action to painkillers, or stress, or dealing with Mr Wonderful that upset you like that.
Smart move to forget asking him for anything, and going thru hassles with other people is better than opening yourself up to his mind games.

Hope you are resting that foot, and seeing a GP would be a good way to go...trust me 1 little broken bone in your foot is not pleasant, and can take up to a YEAR to knit.

God bless

lulu1974

I spoke to my therapist about this today..feeling like he is making me the bad guy and he cant see me. She mentioned most people who have lied as much as he has cant face it..If he apologized to me about what he lied about he would have to apologize to so many others as well because then he would need to face the lies. It may be possible he is a naricissit and he can rationalize his behavior so he really does feel that I am the bad guy. That is just nuts that someone can get to that point. Rationlizing insanity and lies. I dont understand how anyone sick or not can not distinguish the truth versus fantasy? I really need to get past this feeling of being offended he is making me the bad guy. Sure I did some things wrong and apologized for them but making me out to have the plague cant continue. How do I get past this? Hugs

Duped

Gosh. You sound like me. I get demonised to no end. It drives me absolutely batty at times. I have my good days and bad days with it. Rationalising insanity and lies. It's like being in a house of mirrors.

I guess what really gets me going is she is telling anyone and everyone what a bast*rd I am........even after everything I did to help her. Money, support, just being there for her when she was out of rehab. Picking her up and dusting her off.....and this is the repayment I got for being a good samaritan.

lulu1974

Yes duped..the story of my life. Now I have to reconcile I chose to be there for him through all the chaos. Nothing I can do about it. Knowing what I know now..I would have still been there for him but in a different way. So I guess I need to learn to know how not to accept what he says about me. It isnt true as Anvil said its his opinion. Most dont agree with it but that is what he thinks. Somehow to me I think this is my self esteem issue.

lulu1974

You are right. I wish I could learn how to not let it affect me. Maybe time is the healer and working on my self esteem.

lulu1974

I can answer that.back in the day he was the greatest guy I ever met. I mean that. Now I keep hoping he will return. I have to kill that hope and that I will be better..