My birthday dinner.....
Just for today....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Venus
Posts: 118
My birthday dinner.....
So.......
Today is my birthday. My birthday is always a huge deal to me.
My kids (3 and 5) are also very excited about my birthday, so my son made some home made invitations and said we are having a party when i get home. The kids were super excited about it and wanted to decorate and said I could invite 2 friends over too
So, STBAXH just calls and says that they just went to the store. he says the my daughter picked out pink cupcakes and pink ice cream and Hawaiian punch and she wanted to get balloons and streamers to decorate.
Then he says he is going tom ake me a birthday dinner (he did all the cooking, I don't cook) and says we are having cheese fondue, shrimp scampi, jumbo scallops, twice baked potatoes, and salad...which those items all happen to be my favorite things to eat, and he knows it, this is my standard birthday dinner every year.
Now, while I know I have said about 1,000 times to him I am going to go through with this divorce, and I am hoping this is just a party he is doing for the kids (which he says it is) part of me doesn't want to eat this birthday dinner, and the other part of me says to eat it and remind him that the divorce is going through...
So would you accept this as a gesture for my bday or what do you think?
The party is really important to the kids...we make huge deals out of birthdays in our house.
Ugh, I hate these situations!
I don't want him to think I have "sucker" written on my forehead.
Today is my birthday. My birthday is always a huge deal to me.
My kids (3 and 5) are also very excited about my birthday, so my son made some home made invitations and said we are having a party when i get home. The kids were super excited about it and wanted to decorate and said I could invite 2 friends over too
So, STBAXH just calls and says that they just went to the store. he says the my daughter picked out pink cupcakes and pink ice cream and Hawaiian punch and she wanted to get balloons and streamers to decorate.
Then he says he is going tom ake me a birthday dinner (he did all the cooking, I don't cook) and says we are having cheese fondue, shrimp scampi, jumbo scallops, twice baked potatoes, and salad...which those items all happen to be my favorite things to eat, and he knows it, this is my standard birthday dinner every year.
Now, while I know I have said about 1,000 times to him I am going to go through with this divorce, and I am hoping this is just a party he is doing for the kids (which he says it is) part of me doesn't want to eat this birthday dinner, and the other part of me says to eat it and remind him that the divorce is going through...
So would you accept this as a gesture for my bday or what do you think?
The party is really important to the kids...we make huge deals out of birthdays in our house.
Ugh, I hate these situations!
I don't want him to think I have "sucker" written on my forehead.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Okay, he says it is a party for the kids to give to you.
I think you should go with that, and if he tries to make it anything else
you say "i thought we were clear on making this party for the kids sake"
and keep it simple.
if he tries, "but i did all this for you!"
again you say, i was clear that this was for the kids. for the kids.
I think you should go with that, and if he tries to make it anything else
you say "i thought we were clear on making this party for the kids sake"
and keep it simple.
if he tries, "but i did all this for you!"
again you say, i was clear that this was for the kids. for the kids.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
It's your birthday and the kids are excited. Your daughter has already picked stuff out for you. He's cooking.
Enjoy it. Take it at face value. Let the kids see you enjoying yourself, especially since your daughter used such love and care 'preparing'!
How he chooses to interpret that is on him, not on you!
7 
Enjoy it. Take it at face value. Let the kids see you enjoying yourself, especially since your daughter used such love and care 'preparing'!
How he chooses to interpret that is on him, not on you!
7 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
i know i'm weighing in too late, but, i woulda accepted the gracious party invitation.
i know it's different, cuz i've been divorced for almost 4 years, and we did part amicably, but sometimes today my xah sends me a card (mother's day: thanks for being a great mother to our girls, for instance), he waited at the hospital when i had a 7-hour surgery in 2008, and other examples. i just smile and say "thank you".
i know it's different, cuz i've been divorced for almost 4 years, and we did part amicably, but sometimes today my xah sends me a card (mother's day: thanks for being a great mother to our girls, for instance), he waited at the hospital when i had a 7-hour surgery in 2008, and other examples. i just smile and say "thank you".
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
:day2 and all blessings for it to be a good one.
Enjoy the fruits of your kids and his labours, knowing your kids are doing it for love of you, no underhand reason. Why he is busy cooking, is his business, don't borrow trouble. You have said already it was for the kids, so leave it there and enjoy.
God bless
Enjoy the fruits of your kids and his labours, knowing your kids are doing it for love of you, no underhand reason. Why he is busy cooking, is his business, don't borrow trouble. You have said already it was for the kids, so leave it there and enjoy.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Hope you have a great birthday!
I'll echo what Freedom said. Eating his dinner does not equal "okay, everything's fine now, let's get back together." If he thinks it does, then that is his problem, not yours.
L
I'll echo what Freedom said. Eating his dinner does not equal "okay, everything's fine now, let's get back together." If he thinks it does, then that is his problem, not yours.
L
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Happy Birthday!
Forget worries today! Let others have problems but not you!
You just enjoy and tell us how it goes. Let others deal with their feelings. I agree it is important for the kids right now. They need to see you celebrate your BD and be ok. Nothing else matters.
Let husband think what he will b/c we don't have control over that.
Have a wonderful time - enjoy the moment- stay in the present.
Forget worries today! Let others have problems but not you!
You just enjoy and tell us how it goes. Let others deal with their feelings. I agree it is important for the kids right now. They need to see you celebrate your BD and be ok. Nothing else matters.
Let husband think what he will b/c we don't have control over that.
Have a wonderful time - enjoy the moment- stay in the present.
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