better...better...
 

I've noticed a shift in my thinking. I have a dear friend, a male, that sometimes freaks out on me when I don't return his calls right away. Usually I feel bad, but this morning he sent me some nasty texts saying WTF!! You can't pick up the phone?

I'm so busy it's unreal. The guy I hired to disribute my newspaper state wide won't answer his phone or call me back-for a week! It was suppose to be distributed this week. So I"ve had to recreate everything and try to get folks their paper. Plus, prepare to testify in front of Congress on Monday and two other city council meetings this week. So yeah, I've been freaking busy.

So I called him and said, "I probably could have returned your call sooner, but you have no right to go off on me. You're acting like a child. Stop it."

Usually I would have coddled him out of fear that he'd be mad or some stupid sh1t like that. But I really think I just no longer suffer fools. Must be all of Jadmacks wisdom seeping in.

That felt great. He apologized! First time ever.

I think I"ve been programmed to take the blame for other peoples anger. Either that or rage back. I like this approach better--I've done nothing wrong; you're just a jerk!

And as an aside, I going to my first EMDR therapy session Tuesday. I can't wait, really, to clean out the last of this PTSD.

YEAH transform! That sounds like an awesome step! I'm so proud of you :)

:You_Rock_

wow transform....what progress!!!! so wonderful to hear.

Ooooh Woman! I had the EMDR done some years ago and it has been terrific. I wish I could have it done again to erase the trauma from the past 3 years with an addict! I envy you - but am very excited for you at the same time.

EMDR???

Way to go you!

Yeah, I find that happening sometimes too LOL
It's a beautiful thing.

Hooray for you, and the GiveLove quote in your sig is awesome.

I need to learn tact. My response lately has been "grow the h*ll up or get away from me".

Sigh.

Wait, I'm missing something. And this is bad how? :lmao

:)

Well, I do try to be more tactful. I've been stressed lately and I shouldn't allow that to make me short with immature jerks. :D

@Lilyflower - I think this is what you were asking? I was curious too. Found good info under the first link that came up with a google search. (don't know if the link is okay to post here, but you can get to it easily.) Here's the basic info I found:

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)1 is a comprehensive, integrative psychotherapy approach. It contains elements of many effective psychotherapies in structured protocols that are designed to maximize treatment effects. These include psychodynamic, cognitive behavioral, interpersonal, experiential, and body-centered therapies2.

EMDR is an information processing therapy and uses an eight phase approach to address the experiential contributors of a wide range of pathologies. It attends to the past experiences that have set the groundwork for pathology, the current situations that trigger dysfunctional emotions, beliefs and sensations, and the positive experience needed to enhance future adaptive behaviors and mental health.

During treatment various procedures and protocols are used to address the entire clinical picture. One of the procedural elements is "dual stimulation" using either bilateral eye movements, tones or taps. During the reprocessing phases the client attends momentarily to past memories, present triggers, or anticipated future experiences while simultaneously focusing on a set of external stimulus. During that time, clients generally experience the emergence of insight, changes in memories, or new associations. The clinician assists the client to focus on appropriate material before initiation of each subsequent set.

....It goes on to explain the 8 steps...I am so curious now!
Transform, Let us know how it goes, good luck!

Well I've done "talk therapy" for my PTSD for freaking decades. Also different types of healings. 98% of my life is trigger free, which just means I have the every day struggles of humankind, but these triggers aren't going away with all the work I've done. So I"ve had it.

The therapist says I'm a great candidate for this procedure. You can count on me reporting back. That's me, Process Externally Girl...

And yes, I love this quote from GL as well. She's my hero!

"well I've done "talk therapy" for my PTSD for freaking decades."

For us relative newbies here, what is the PTSD from? If you can say?

I believe there is a forum rule against making the moderators blush, so cut that out :tapping :hug:

short with immature jerks=suffering no fools

Sorry GL. Ma'am.

And the PTSD is from a) my abusive childhood and b) my AH affairs, which might have been pretty bad on their own, but they re-triggered my childhood PTSD.

Funny though, when I found out my AH had a girlfriend AND had brought her to my house while I was gone with the kids, something shifted in me and I started a journey of healing that is pretty escalated. Effective. So, he did me a real favor.

This is one of the ways:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...gree-room.html

That was a very good read. Look at you! You remind me of Debra Winger, only prettier. Yeah, he'd have to be drunk or on drugs. What a tool! :-P

Thank you! Right after I found out I would cry in public, really. I remember telling the gas station attendant, a very charming muscley middle eastern man I knew fairly well from going into his station regularly, that my husband had a girlfriend. It was like I was shell shocked. He said, "what? Is he BLIND?"

That helped me more after the shock wore off than i should admit. I guess it showed me that the affair wasn't about me, but rather him.

Now a days, I just work as hard as I can on focusing in my life, on making it better. That's what makes me feel better.

Even though since I"ve given up the addictive relationship, I"m finding there are parts of myself that are pretty ugly. Gotta acknowledge them and eradicate them.

This is for you GL, and some for me.......Jadmack's wisdom......LOL.

http://i532.photobucket.com/albums/e...e/awshucks.jpg

God bless

I think you're that wonderful. I'm grateful for your wisdom and the multiple layers of gifts and teachings I receive here. Both a ya. All of you.