Question about Sponsors
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 220
Question about Sponsors
I am wondering how important is the Sponsor in Al-Anon? I have been attending for about a year and a half and I have not yet asked anyone to be my sponsor... I'm not sure why, but it is a relationship that I am so uncomfortable with. Maybe too close and personal?
What are your thoughts on this? The meeting I currently attend is a very healthy meeting (I have been to many that weren't) and it is filled with healthy, practicing Al-Anoners - but most of the people are sponsored by one person and I don't feel comfortable with that. She is a mentor and a good resource, but I wouldn't want her to be my sponsor.
I would appreciate your feedback. Thanks!
What are your thoughts on this? The meeting I currently attend is a very healthy meeting (I have been to many that weren't) and it is filled with healthy, practicing Al-Anoners - but most of the people are sponsored by one person and I don't feel comfortable with that. She is a mentor and a good resource, but I wouldn't want her to be my sponsor.
I would appreciate your feedback. Thanks!
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
I have an AA sponsor, but I suppose the answer would fit anywhoo.
Try to attend a few meetings you haven't been to. Switch it up to get new and different insights from new and different people. One thing that is done (that I think is a good idea) is asking someone to be a temporary sponsor to see how well you work together. The main thing is to get one! - taking your time, but not too much time.
Try to attend a few meetings you haven't been to. Switch it up to get new and different insights from new and different people. One thing that is done (that I think is a good idea) is asking someone to be a temporary sponsor to see how well you work together. The main thing is to get one! - taking your time, but not too much time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Hi KerBearz,
I've been going to Alanon for 6 months and it was just this past month that I asked someone to be my sponsor. It has been a very important relationship for me, but when I asked about it I also said what I was wanting to do (4th step) and that the relationship I was in at the time was "taking a break" for a month and I wanted greater clarity with that. Now that I'm not in a romantic relationship outside of myself (as of yesterday) I'm beginning a new journey inside and am really glad to have an assistant-on-call for that process. I also have a therapist, and those are two totally different helpful relationships, but both are based on trusting myself with them.
If you're uncomfortable with who you choose as a sponsor I wouldn't think it would work well. I observed people in the meetings and chose 3 that I thought I could work with. The first one I asked felt that she had too much going on in her life to give me adequate sponsorship, so I asked someone else and it has been really positive to have that support.
I like Ali's suggestion to try a "trial basis" to see how it works. But I'd definitely encourage you to try it to see if helps you grow.
posie
I've been going to Alanon for 6 months and it was just this past month that I asked someone to be my sponsor. It has been a very important relationship for me, but when I asked about it I also said what I was wanting to do (4th step) and that the relationship I was in at the time was "taking a break" for a month and I wanted greater clarity with that. Now that I'm not in a romantic relationship outside of myself (as of yesterday) I'm beginning a new journey inside and am really glad to have an assistant-on-call for that process. I also have a therapist, and those are two totally different helpful relationships, but both are based on trusting myself with them.
If you're uncomfortable with who you choose as a sponsor I wouldn't think it would work well. I observed people in the meetings and chose 3 that I thought I could work with. The first one I asked felt that she had too much going on in her life to give me adequate sponsorship, so I asked someone else and it has been really positive to have that support.
I like Ali's suggestion to try a "trial basis" to see how it works. But I'd definitely encourage you to try it to see if helps you grow.
posie
Last edited by posiesperson; 04-08-2010 at 06:14 PM. Reason: clarification
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
I agree I would try to narrow it down to 2-3 people you would lke to be your sponsor...it really doesn't matter who anyone elses sponsor is. Take some time and then ask them. I like the idea of a trial cause you never know if your styles are going to match. You may also consider asking them to coffee or something after a meeting, then ask them more indepth about their program etc... It will give you some insight on if they are right for you 
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