When is it OK to leave a toddler with an alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 97
Thumper,
Thanks so much for your view. I guess I think your second "case" describes what is happening. I can see many things that lead me to believe my brother-in-law is still struggling to deal with the reality of the situation, and still seeming pretty "codependent".
Thanks so much for your view. I guess I think your second "case" describes what is happening. I can see many things that lead me to believe my brother-in-law is still struggling to deal with the reality of the situation, and still seeming pretty "codependent".
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I didn't see your last post before that one.
Yes, the family is in a tough spot. If you think the child is really in danger with those two woman you should definately say something to BIL. I think you could also give him some information on al-anon. If it is possible for you, you could offer to babysit during the meeting time so he could attend. He has a lot coming at him. You can be a good support person. You don't have to be over involved to be that. He might run into some resistance if he begins to detach from the alcoholics in his life and make a healthier life for him and his son. If you just offer verbal support when appropriate that will go a long way. I had a long distance person provide that to me (not even very often - every 2-3 weeks I called her) and I tell you what - it was like a life line. She was the voice of sanity and reason admist all the chaos of my life. And she never once told me what to do. She is a blessing.
Yes, the family is in a tough spot. If you think the child is really in danger with those two woman you should definately say something to BIL. I think you could also give him some information on al-anon. If it is possible for you, you could offer to babysit during the meeting time so he could attend. He has a lot coming at him. You can be a good support person. You don't have to be over involved to be that. He might run into some resistance if he begins to detach from the alcoholics in his life and make a healthier life for him and his son. If you just offer verbal support when appropriate that will go a long way. I had a long distance person provide that to me (not even very often - every 2-3 weeks I called her) and I tell you what - it was like a life line. She was the voice of sanity and reason admist all the chaos of my life. And she never once told me what to do. She is a blessing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 97
Considering how little information I have, it's hard for me to know if any danger is involved. It's like some horrible thought experiment. "Will she suggest driving to the park? Will she black out and forget she's caring for him?" Stuff like that, and I don't know how to know to answer.
Thank you so much for sharing your own experiences. It really helps me.
1234
Thank you so much for sharing your own experiences. It really helps me.
1234
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Honey, for me the answer would be......when the "toddler" can recite the Gettysburgh Address backwards, swim across Sydney Harbour, and paraski down the Eiger.
I guess I could have just said NEVER, but the other sounded more fun.
I left my daughter aged 6 weeks with her father one evening, while I went to get my mum from work.....took all of 18 minutes. When we got back, we heard her cries as soon as the car door was opened, so I sprinted inside. Daddy was asleep on the couch, with baby squashed into the side, yelling fit to burst and her little face was face scarlet.
My husband learned that night that mother is NOT a word to ever take lightly, and I was surprised just how far I could throw a full bottle of beer. Needless to say, after that he never even dared have thoughts of drinking if he was baby sitting.
Too scary and dangerous to take chances with precious and innocent lives.
God bless
I guess I could have just said NEVER, but the other sounded more fun.
I left my daughter aged 6 weeks with her father one evening, while I went to get my mum from work.....took all of 18 minutes. When we got back, we heard her cries as soon as the car door was opened, so I sprinted inside. Daddy was asleep on the couch, with baby squashed into the side, yelling fit to burst and her little face was face scarlet.
My husband learned that night that mother is NOT a word to ever take lightly, and I was surprised just how far I could throw a full bottle of beer. Needless to say, after that he never even dared have thoughts of drinking if he was baby sitting.
Too scary and dangerous to take chances with precious and innocent lives.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: norwich, uk
Posts: 80
In my humble opinion NEVER is as many times as I would leave a toddler with an alcoholic. My STBXH used to fall asleep on the sofa and our youngest used to get up to all sorts, then when STBXH discovered what had happened he used to go off on one at youngest. I believe that my STBXH was a dry drunk. Toddlers do not necessarily know what they are doing is wrong, so you end up with a fearful child.
What would happen if the toddler did something that a sane human being would find funny and the OH went off on one at him/her and ended up effectively assaulting the child, would you be prepared to get the relevant authorities involved? I threatened my STBXH with a call to the police if he ever did it again and he never assaulted our son, plus I never gave him the opportunity.
What would happen if the toddler did something that a sane human being would find funny and the OH went off on one at him/her and ended up effectively assaulting the child, would you be prepared to get the relevant authorities involved? I threatened my STBXH with a call to the police if he ever did it again and he never assaulted our son, plus I never gave him the opportunity.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
