How far I have come
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
How far I have come
I just looked--my first post was in July 2008. Tomorrow, about one year and almost 9 months later, I will be doing something that I never would have thought I would do. Tomorrow--I buy a house for me and my kids. STBXAH has done anything he could to try to stop me--he has harassed me, he did nothing to help sell the house we had, he has gotten violent, he would not help move anything out of the house. The day we closed I had to go over because to the house because he had left a bunch of his stuff there and the new owners were not happy. But that is all history.
Tomorrow--I will have my own house and he will not be in it. It's much smaller--but will hold much more love. My kids have gotten used to the idea of Daddy not living with us and today older DS told the therapist there are times he wished his Dad and I were not getting divorced-but that he is happy we are because there is no more fighting and he is not afraid anymore.
The kids don't know it--but the muscle to move the stuff into the house will not be around until Saturday. So I am going to spend tomorrow and Friday painting their rooms the colors they have told me they want their rooms. When they come to the house on Saturday I will have their rooms put together as best I can. I have been scrimping and saving to buy a flat screen TV and the kids have no idea it will be there. So I am going to order pizza and get a movie so we can lay among all the unpacked boxes and laugh while we live in our new house, get our jammies on, sleep peacefully and get up knowing STBXAH is not there to make us all nervous, sad, resentful. To wake up happy with the dog barking and the cat meowing for breakfast.
It is not over yet. The divorce is not over and he is doing everything he can to take as much as he can and to not support our kids. I find myself getting angry--then I remind myself he could care less if I'm angry and knock it off. I just fired my attoreny who was acting like road kill and found someone who will not let STBXAH walk all over me and continue to be a deadbeat.
Again-to all of you
:
I could not have gotten this far without your help, encouragement, blunt honesty, and never give up attitude.
Tomorrow--I will have my own house and he will not be in it. It's much smaller--but will hold much more love. My kids have gotten used to the idea of Daddy not living with us and today older DS told the therapist there are times he wished his Dad and I were not getting divorced-but that he is happy we are because there is no more fighting and he is not afraid anymore.
The kids don't know it--but the muscle to move the stuff into the house will not be around until Saturday. So I am going to spend tomorrow and Friday painting their rooms the colors they have told me they want their rooms. When they come to the house on Saturday I will have their rooms put together as best I can. I have been scrimping and saving to buy a flat screen TV and the kids have no idea it will be there. So I am going to order pizza and get a movie so we can lay among all the unpacked boxes and laugh while we live in our new house, get our jammies on, sleep peacefully and get up knowing STBXAH is not there to make us all nervous, sad, resentful. To wake up happy with the dog barking and the cat meowing for breakfast.
It is not over yet. The divorce is not over and he is doing everything he can to take as much as he can and to not support our kids. I find myself getting angry--then I remind myself he could care less if I'm angry and knock it off. I just fired my attoreny who was acting like road kill and found someone who will not let STBXAH walk all over me and continue to be a deadbeat.
Again-to all of you
:I could not have gotten this far without your help, encouragement, blunt honesty, and never give up attitude.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
So I am going to order pizza and get a movie so we can lay among all the unpacked boxes and laugh while we live in our new house, get our jammies on, sleep peacefully and get up knowing STBXAH is not there to make us all nervous, sad, resentful. To wake up happy with the dog barking and the cat meowing for breakfast.
Congratulations on your new house, which will be your home. Peace.
Beth
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I loved your post. I got teary even... yes, to wake up happy with the cats meowing, that is also my goal !! to relax and be in pijamas and see the sunset and do yoga in the early hours of the morning, then drink green tea while reading Language of Letting go.
At night...to turn on a candle and do more yoga and thank HP for another day in this world. Then spend as much time as I can playing with the aforementioned cats.
Hugs!!
At night...to turn on a candle and do more yoga and thank HP for another day in this world. Then spend as much time as I can playing with the aforementioned cats.
Hugs!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
It is that sense of peace. It is also living for the day and not worrying what will be tomorrow.
Last week I found out that somehow the child support order was vacated. . .then I got a call from STBXAH telling me they sent his child support payment back. Checked the bank and saw that the IRS did a tax intercept and took part of my half of the tax return. In the past I would have gotten mad, mad, mad. Today I called family court and figured out how to fix the child support. I started to get mad that I was paying myself child support with my share of the tax return and stopped and said-honey--you have money. There was actually money there for the IRS to take-consider yourself lucky-and let it go.
It will all get straightened out.
Kerb-I remember so many days and nights of despair--thinking I would live in hell forever. Feeling like I would never get out from under it. Worrying about the wrong things and then finally figuring out that all that stuff I thought I needed (so I stayed) I did not. I have my little house, children who feel safe and peace. I almost feel giddy I feel so peaceful. I have not felt this way in years.
Taking charge-I actually started hooping to get myself centered. I even decided to take a class so I can learn some other things. I even have a back yard at the new house so I have a place to hoop now. Probably scare the heck out of the new neighbors. Hey, check out the old lady next door--what the heck does she think she is doing.:rotfxko
Last week I found out that somehow the child support order was vacated. . .then I got a call from STBXAH telling me they sent his child support payment back. Checked the bank and saw that the IRS did a tax intercept and took part of my half of the tax return. In the past I would have gotten mad, mad, mad. Today I called family court and figured out how to fix the child support. I started to get mad that I was paying myself child support with my share of the tax return and stopped and said-honey--you have money. There was actually money there for the IRS to take-consider yourself lucky-and let it go.
It will all get straightened out.
Kerb-I remember so many days and nights of despair--thinking I would live in hell forever. Feeling like I would never get out from under it. Worrying about the wrong things and then finally figuring out that all that stuff I thought I needed (so I stayed) I did not. I have my little house, children who feel safe and peace. I almost feel giddy I feel so peaceful. I have not felt this way in years.
Taking charge-I actually started hooping to get myself centered. I even decided to take a class so I can learn some other things. I even have a back yard at the new house so I have a place to hoop now. Probably scare the heck out of the new neighbors. Hey, check out the old lady next door--what the heck does she think she is doing.:rotfxko
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
