Bucyn

A couple people have wondered whether or not their partner is an alkie. Posters here respond that it's a chronic condition that always gets worse.

But people wonder what it means in their case. The Jellinek curve is the slope down to rock bottom and the climb back.

Here's the downward slide leading to rock bottom. I bolded the ones my XAH hit. The stages aren't precise, don't necessarily line up in precise order, they come in clusters, some are skipped, there's backtracking, sometimes an advanced symptom shows up prematurely, etc... but this is the general trend to rock bottom:

Occasional relief drinking
Increase in tolerance in alcohol
Constance relief drinking
Onset of memory blackouts (I don't know if XAH ever had blackouts, we never discussed it)
Secretive drinking
Increasing dependence on alcohol
Urgent need for the first drink
Feelings of guilt
Unable to discuss the problem
Increasing dependence on alcohol
Blackouts increase
Drinking bolstered with excuses (boy oh boy did he have excuses)
Decrease of ability to stop when others do
Grandiose and aggressive behaviorPersistent remorse (I think he had this but not sure)
Efforts to control fail repeatedly
Promises and resolutions fail

Crucial Phase
Geographical escapes
Loss of other interests (he got really boring at the end)
Family and friends avoided (me)
Work and money troubles
Unreasonable resentments
Neglect of food
Loss of ordinary will power
Tremors and early morning drinks
Decrease in alcohol tolerance
Physical deteriorations (he'd always complain how cutting the grass did him in, thought it was aging tho)
Onset of lengthy intoxications (yep, day after day after day drinking nonstop when not asleep and presumably not at work)
Moral deteriorations (lying, lying, lying, also talking to 17 year old girls about their sex lives thinking he was 'helping' them)
Impaired thinking (see above, also I have dozens of examples of his stupid logic)
Drinking with other chronic users (yep, your best friends are your bar buddies)
Indefinable fears (like his wife was going to kill him and so he'd better watch a lot to tv to protect himself)
Unable to initiate action (he no longer has much initiative)

Chronic Phase
Obsession with drinking
Vague spiritual desires
All alibis exhausted
Complete defeat admitted

Rock Bottom
Obsessive drinking continues in vicious circles

People can stay here until death or they climb up the slope to healing which has as many milestones as the downward slide.

Interestingly, I have never done even one of those things on that list, altho a couple times in the last 25 years I have been tipsy, and twice in my life, drunk, and I drink on occasion.

Ceres

That's very good!!

Ingwer

Thank you for this! Reading all the things my AH has done, compared to what others have seen or experienced makes me feel a little less crazy and a little more sure of myself.

tpen

Could you describe tremors please?

shockozulu

Here is a great PDF file of the curve from the state of Indiana web site.

I've experienced almost everything on the way down, as well as those on the way up in recovery. I only hope someday the A in my life will have the chance to move up as well. That is for her to decide.

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/ijlap/docs/jellinek.pdf

Seeking Wisdom

Ah ... this forum is a wealth of information. I wish I had known all of this years ago. The progression so closely followed what my AH went through. Sadly, he was not able to unable to climb up that slope and find his way out.

Taking5

Tremors are just shakes, caused by alcohol withdrawal. Unsteady hands and even coordination problems. This is mostly just an annoyance and an embarrassment, unless it is accompanied with delirium, in which case it is life threatening Delirium Tremens, also know as the DTs.

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Delirium+tremens

tpen

Can tremors occur at night? That was more my question.

Still Waters

Interesting. I wonder if this is why my AH tells people he's Jewish?

MovingForward

Thank you for posting this. I've been lurking a while here and this is the first time I've seen this list. My AH has hit all of the first two categories, except for 4, and has hit one in the crucial category.

As for tremors, my husband says he has tremors because his mother had MS and the doctors at that time said that her children may suffer from some of the symptoms of MS. I've heard this so many times over the years. I know he believes it. Even if it is true, his hands shake so bad and miraculously stop after he has a few.

Just this past Friday, he cleaned up the yard and thatched. He said he couldn't believe how tired it made him. I told him that the nightly beating (drinking 1/2 bottle of vodka and 10 beers a night) he gives his body probably has something to do with it. Of course, his response is "How did I know that was coming?" Really?

MovingForward

Sorry, I meant he hit one in the chronic category.

wicked

anvilhead,
no way man! bad ice?
well, i did buy bags of ice when i was in Germany.
bad water makes.....bad ice!

beth

LaTeeDa

I remember seeing this graph when I first came here and it was a huge AHA moment for me. I finally understood that "functional" was a stage of alcoholism, not a type of alcoholic. WOW!

L

MovingForward

I can totally see that coming. WOW is right.

Still Waters

Bad Ice.

lulu1974

thank u for this. it dead on. so true.

Still Waters

Well for me, the most amazing thing of ALL in this is that I probably would have (for a moment) wondered if the ice might have been bad.

Back then anyway.

I'm just not wired to expect people to lie 24/7. I wasn't good at detecting that kind of stuff. I'm better now.