KeepPedaling

I'm just curious where everyone is at and how it feels.

For me it's been 6 weeks and I'm feeling like I'm over the hardest part. I think weeks 1 and 2 were the worst.

I feel stronger and happier.

tpen

Was at 7 days, but no zero after today. So upset!

freefalling

Was at six weeks. He came back from rehab -he made contact once and I connected. He is still drinking. Back to no contact. I can also say that contact does not upset me as much as before. I fell off. I cried for a day because he will die - not because I feel that I will die LOL. Does it make sense?

If I can do this -anybody can! I was so scared of losing him and scared of people not approving of what I am doing. My HP loves me and may I say all of you

Hugs

Jadmack25

Does not having had a puff for nearly 7 weeks qualify as NC = No Cigarettes?
Man have I felt like getting out the papers and tobacco and rolling one, a few times.

God bless

freefalling

I love you Jadmack - dont you have a picture ?

IamSaved

8 weeks today! I agree, the first couple weeks were the WORST! NC has been a total blessing! I am so glad he left me alone. The longer he stays away, the more my heart heals and is ready to move on!

lulu1974

The first month has been tough. I think I expected a miracle but fnow I am facing reality now. I will never get honesty, genuine caring, decency, normalcy from him. And how does one live a life based on lies. It just doesnt happen. It just makes it a crazy life.

kittykitty

I am about 5 days, and everyday he has tried to contact me in some way shape or form. Shows up at my work, sends text messages, emails, leaves notes in my door at home. Was on the phone with my Al anon sponsor two minutes ago, and he came to my open front door. He said through the screen that he wanted to talk, I said I had nothing to say. He said "so we're never going to talk again?" I casually got up from my recliner, walked over to the door, bent down and picked up my chihuahua and closed the front door and locked it. He got in his car and left.

The decision to go no contact was an easy one. Having to make it over and over again every stinking day is really starting to make me angry. I wish he would respect my wishes and leave me alone. But I'm not going to let it ruin my day!!! I and only I decide how to feel, and I'm deciding to be happy today!

lulu1974

WOW. You are my hero for the day!!

Kassie2

It has been 3 months now and I really didn't think he could do it. Altho' in the first months he did attempt emailing and calling. I gave in one time and was sorry I did. I did keep my composure and backed out of it graciously and quickly.

I am surprised and yet sad that things are this way.

IamSaved

That sums it up beautifully...thank you!

tigger11

Four months.

Ours is forced NC via a civil order of protection. If that weren't in effect, I know for certain that I would have called him. In fact, confession time... I've called using the *67 prefix so my number would come up as "unknown caller".

I ache for missing him... well... the person that I thought he was... you know... the dream. I beat myself up all the time for missing him, and the feel of his skin, and that cute British accent which I now know to be affected (put on for show) since he's been in the US 20 years, and had a cockney accent when he lived in England. That lovely, refined gentleman's accent he practiced, and now uses to his advantage... oh how the ladies swoon. It suckered me.

When I'm thinking clearly, I know that being able to have contact would be awful. We'd talk, he'd twist words and conversations into things that were angry and aimed at obliterating my heart and mind. He'd alternately love and hate me with his words, as he did for so long, and it would devastate me.

Yes, no contact is a Godsend, and has probably saved my sorry behind many times over.

Jadmack25

My goodness, kittykitty how on earth have you not become a screaming wreck. You did a perfect action when he arrived at your door, but Lordy, he could just pop up beside you anytime, any place. Freaky....Yuk. Is there nothing you can do to legally stop this "stalking" and harassment of you, day in day out,? Do you have a large and heavy frying pan?

Thanks Freefalling....Seems just as hard now as at the start, temper frays very fast.


God bless