LS2

The kids and I were searching in the cupboards in our garage for the tub of flip flops/sandels and low and behold I found a twelve pack of beer. Nice. Just Nice. He totally had it hidden behind his work boots. Lets just add more to the list of lies.

To be honest, it really didn't shock me-it almost makes me feel better, but I am on the fence to even mention to him that I know it is there? He has been dry for 2 months as far as I knew. I am sure he had it from when the kids and I were in the cities for 2 nights.

Ok, I have a question- Since he is on probation for his fourth DUI, Can he get in trouble at all if I contact his P.O. ? Or do they have to be caught actually drinking it?

Thanks, Lindsey

LaTeeDa

You know what you know. What difference will confronting him make? I find when I look at my motivation, it's easier to decide what to do. Same goes for turning him in. What would your motivation be?

When I found myself in similar situations, my motivation was to prove I was right and he was wrong. To feed my superiority. All that did was keep me in the power struggle.

L

Ceres

I was just like LaTeeDa. Motives were all out of focus. I couldn't prove my husband was using. Drove me batty. Came here and learned it didn't really matter. I had to simply look at our marriage to see the sad state of the reality of it. Using or not using. It was just over.

Freedom1990

I agree with the others on looking at your motives.

I had plenty of opportunities to snitch out my EXAH to his parole officer. Considering he had no maximum on his parole length, as in life, that would've gotten me beaten worse than he already did on a regular basis.

You can't change him or what he's going to do. Considering he's on probation for his 4th DUI, it sounds like he's perfectly content doing what he does.

My question to you is are you happy with your life, and if not, what can you do to change your life?

Personally I no longer take a front seat to anyone's alcoholism/addictions, and that includes my 32 year old daughter.

coffeedrinker

play this out. what would happen/change if you told him what you found?

Still Waters

I would certainly point out that he's a liar if he claims there is no beer in the house. But I wouldn't bother to bring it up.

I'm still sick of being blamed for everything, told I am crazy, that it's all me, in my head, yada yada. It wasn't/isn't in my head, and finding something like that would be PROOF it wasn't.

Back before I left, I needed things like that.

barb dwyer

PUT a bow on it and give it to someone he doesn't know- LOL

and say... NOTHING. I mean - EVER.

the thing that bothers me is the wanting to call the PO.

that could possibly escalate things to a dimension
you don't want to experience.
And it kinda had a 'flavor' of 'tit for tat' to it.