My husband has lost it, and I don't know what to do : (
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 16
My husband has lost it, and I don't know what to do : (
I've posted on this board a few times in recent months...I've been dealing with my husband's alcohol problems for the last 3 years. He binges on alcohol (and lately coke) and gets very verbally abusive toward me, and has been slightly physical (pushing, slapping) a couple of times. I moved out in December because I couldn't live with the fear of him drinking anymore.
He called me last night and said he wants a divorce. I am so confused right now. I was raised in a very strict religious household, and basically taught that sex was a shameful thing outside of marriage. I had only been with one person before I met my husband, and I told him that. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24! And I lost it to someone I was not in a relationship with. I do regret that. Also, when I left the religion, I went out to clubs drinking with friends a lot. I met guys out, and sometimes I hooked up with them, but I never slept with anyone but two people, and haven't my whole life, and I'm 28 now.
I told my husband that I had only slept with the one other guy, but when I told him, I made the story more favorable to myself and implied that I'd been dating the guy for a few months before I slept with him (it was actually only a couple weeks). I also told my husband that I was not slutty before I met him, and that I didn't hook up with a bunch of guys. He never believed me. Whenever he drank, he would get really upset and call me a lying ****, and say all kinds of other horrible things. My family has seen him do this. He did it while I was pregnant with our son, and my sister was a witness to it. He was even interrogating my sister, asking her who I'd been with and what their names were. Because of his craziness on this subject, I always downplayed my past with him because he seemed to have such an issue with it.
Last weekend, he kept calling me, completely wasted. He called me every name in the book. He told me he knows I've lied to him all along. I actually almost called the police Saturday night, because he sounded so incoherent and even said he was going to kill himself. But then he left to go out with his friends...another mind game.
Anyway, last night he called and told me that he wanted to know the real truth about my past. Foolishly, I gave in, out of frustration, and told him every sexual experience I've had since I was 18. Not that there is much to tell. After I'd done that, he said he wanted a divorce. He says I have brought this divorce upon myself, and that I'm the reason he's been drinking so much the last few years. He said he knew all along that I wasn't as good of a girl as I portrayed, and that all he's ever wanted is honesty. He said he would rather I had slept with 10 people and told the truth, then hid the fact that I'd had hook-ups and made out with strangers. He said he finds me disgusting, that I'm a lying *****, a bad mother, etc. He also said he's going to come after custody and take my son away from me. Also, if I date anyone else or try to bring another man into my son's life, he says he'll kill the guy and I'll pay for it. He went to the doctor yesterday and got anti-anxiety medication, and he sounds like he's taken too many, he can barely string a sentence together. Everything he says is hateful and cruel.
I'm dealing with a complete psycho here, right?? The longer I'm away from him, the clearer it becomes. This is not normal behavior, and I should not be expected to tell him every detail about my life before him. I've never cheated on him, I am a good wife and I do everything for him. I just did his taxes last week, worked on it for hours. Bue he hates me and wants a divorce. I feel so beaten down by the last 3 years. He is blaming me for everything. This is so upsetting, I am a wreck, not to mention afraid of losing my son. Do I deserve any of this? Does he not realize that the way he became when drunk made me not want to tell him anything?? Am I the crazy one?
He called me last night and said he wants a divorce. I am so confused right now. I was raised in a very strict religious household, and basically taught that sex was a shameful thing outside of marriage. I had only been with one person before I met my husband, and I told him that. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24! And I lost it to someone I was not in a relationship with. I do regret that. Also, when I left the religion, I went out to clubs drinking with friends a lot. I met guys out, and sometimes I hooked up with them, but I never slept with anyone but two people, and haven't my whole life, and I'm 28 now.
I told my husband that I had only slept with the one other guy, but when I told him, I made the story more favorable to myself and implied that I'd been dating the guy for a few months before I slept with him (it was actually only a couple weeks). I also told my husband that I was not slutty before I met him, and that I didn't hook up with a bunch of guys. He never believed me. Whenever he drank, he would get really upset and call me a lying ****, and say all kinds of other horrible things. My family has seen him do this. He did it while I was pregnant with our son, and my sister was a witness to it. He was even interrogating my sister, asking her who I'd been with and what their names were. Because of his craziness on this subject, I always downplayed my past with him because he seemed to have such an issue with it.
Last weekend, he kept calling me, completely wasted. He called me every name in the book. He told me he knows I've lied to him all along. I actually almost called the police Saturday night, because he sounded so incoherent and even said he was going to kill himself. But then he left to go out with his friends...another mind game.
Anyway, last night he called and told me that he wanted to know the real truth about my past. Foolishly, I gave in, out of frustration, and told him every sexual experience I've had since I was 18. Not that there is much to tell. After I'd done that, he said he wanted a divorce. He says I have brought this divorce upon myself, and that I'm the reason he's been drinking so much the last few years. He said he knew all along that I wasn't as good of a girl as I portrayed, and that all he's ever wanted is honesty. He said he would rather I had slept with 10 people and told the truth, then hid the fact that I'd had hook-ups and made out with strangers. He said he finds me disgusting, that I'm a lying *****, a bad mother, etc. He also said he's going to come after custody and take my son away from me. Also, if I date anyone else or try to bring another man into my son's life, he says he'll kill the guy and I'll pay for it. He went to the doctor yesterday and got anti-anxiety medication, and he sounds like he's taken too many, he can barely string a sentence together. Everything he says is hateful and cruel.
I'm dealing with a complete psycho here, right?? The longer I'm away from him, the clearer it becomes. This is not normal behavior, and I should not be expected to tell him every detail about my life before him. I've never cheated on him, I am a good wife and I do everything for him. I just did his taxes last week, worked on it for hours. Bue he hates me and wants a divorce. I feel so beaten down by the last 3 years. He is blaming me for everything. This is so upsetting, I am a wreck, not to mention afraid of losing my son. Do I deserve any of this? Does he not realize that the way he became when drunk made me not want to tell him anything?? Am I the crazy one?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Stop talking to him. Don't answer when he calls. Better yet, block his number. You no longer live with him, so there is no need to put up with his crap. You don't have to tell him anything. If he wants a divorce, give him one. If he backs off the divorce talk, file for divorce yourself. Why would you want to stay married to someone so abusive?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
(((Cyberhugs)))
I'm sorry that he took the information you shared and twisted it into something ugly. You did not cause this, you can not control this and you will not cure this. This is his addiction talking.
He is quacking, loudly! His enabler has pulled out and he is trying to manipulate you into coming back into his control.
You are not powerful enough to make a grown man drink! Forget it! quack, quack, quack
He will likely keep trying to hook you into his drama. Please try to maintain NO Contact for your own serenity.
Have you consulted a lawyer yet? I recommend getting a lawyer. Let the professional tell you what your rights are according to the laws of your state. Do not believe the words of an active alcoholic. Look at his actions. Has he consulted a real lawyer (not the guy on the next bar stool who has divorced 4 times)?
Detach, detach, detach.
You are a good mom for getting yourself and your child out of that drama. Please continue to look after yourselves.
I just took a bubble bath and gave myself a foot massage - I recommend the bubbles!
I'm sorry that he took the information you shared and twisted it into something ugly. You did not cause this, you can not control this and you will not cure this. This is his addiction talking.
He is quacking, loudly! His enabler has pulled out and he is trying to manipulate you into coming back into his control.
You are not powerful enough to make a grown man drink! Forget it! quack, quack, quack
He will likely keep trying to hook you into his drama. Please try to maintain NO Contact for your own serenity.
Have you consulted a lawyer yet? I recommend getting a lawyer. Let the professional tell you what your rights are according to the laws of your state. Do not believe the words of an active alcoholic. Look at his actions. Has he consulted a real lawyer (not the guy on the next bar stool who has divorced 4 times)?
Detach, detach, detach.
You are a good mom for getting yourself and your child out of that drama. Please continue to look after yourselves.
I just took a bubble bath and gave myself a foot massage - I recommend the bubbles!
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Oh wow. First, this isn't anything you caused, and you darned sure can't control it.
No contact would be a good way to go, if you can afford it, get yourself an attorney and have any contact your AH needs to make with you go through them.
I'd think about getting a protective order also.
And yes, it IS psycho behavior.
No contact would be a good way to go, if you can afford it, get yourself an attorney and have any contact your AH needs to make with you go through them.
I'd think about getting a protective order also.
And yes, it IS psycho behavior.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Oh, HW, I'm so sorry...
I've only been here a short time also, and there are so many who can offer you more experience than I can. But I want to share with you that no, this is NOT normal behavior, but I understand that you question yourself about that. I question myself about what's really happened in my relationship and if you read my story I'm willing to bet you'd see my words and tell me that there's no way should it be acceptable to be treated that way. And yet, I still go on wondering sometimes, should I have tried harder? Should I have responded differently? It's so very hard to sort it out for ourselves.
Trust what you feel. Trust what you want for yourself and your child. Find healthy people who live the way you want to, and spend time with them. I've gained all kinds of strength and hope by going to Alanon.
And keep posting...
Hugs,
posie
I've only been here a short time also, and there are so many who can offer you more experience than I can. But I want to share with you that no, this is NOT normal behavior, but I understand that you question yourself about that. I question myself about what's really happened in my relationship and if you read my story I'm willing to bet you'd see my words and tell me that there's no way should it be acceptable to be treated that way. And yet, I still go on wondering sometimes, should I have tried harder? Should I have responded differently? It's so very hard to sort it out for ourselves.
Trust what you feel. Trust what you want for yourself and your child. Find healthy people who live the way you want to, and spend time with them. I've gained all kinds of strength and hope by going to Alanon.
And keep posting...
Hugs,
posie
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I know this hurts - what he said I mean -
but it's nothing that this whole board hasn't heard.
Yes he's a total psycho.
Now it's alcohol and prescription drugs.
WooHoo.
He's not gonna take your kids.
I'll bet a dollar
(and in MY world they are hard come by)
that he doesn't even WANT the kids.
He can't.
He can't pass a drug test.
Period.
He's blackmailing you.
Terrorizing you.
he wants a divorce -
YAY! (far as I am concerned)
Do it -
and get the child support coming in.
As far as trying to hang onto four years -
consider it an education period.
Just like a really hard college.
And you're about to graduate.
Block the phone -
(if you're that scared)
write(or type) out a report
of his harassment
and file it with your local police dept.
DAY/TIME/EVENT.
If it makes the kids cry WRITE IT DOWN.
You tell the cops
you want a record of everything that's happening
because it's escalating
and you may soon want their help.
You (meanwhile) keep a daily journal.
If you see his car drive by -
write it down.
You get hangup calls -
write it down.
Tell your school you have sole custody until proceedings are final.
Block his number.
Return any mail from him.
But WRITE EVERY TEENSY THING DOWN.
Once per week - make a copy
and take it to the police dept.
They will have it on record.
If your local police dept tells you
that they won't take the report -
call your nearest American Civil Liberties Union.
He's mixing poisons now, hon.
It's what we call .. escalating.
I'm trying to get you to prepare yourself.
but it's nothing that this whole board hasn't heard.
Yes he's a total psycho.
Now it's alcohol and prescription drugs.
WooHoo.
He's not gonna take your kids.
I'll bet a dollar
(and in MY world they are hard come by)
that he doesn't even WANT the kids.
He can't.
He can't pass a drug test.
Period.
He's blackmailing you.
Terrorizing you.
he wants a divorce -
YAY! (far as I am concerned)
Do it -
and get the child support coming in.
As far as trying to hang onto four years -
consider it an education period.
Just like a really hard college.
And you're about to graduate.
Block the phone -
(if you're that scared)
write(or type) out a report
of his harassment
and file it with your local police dept.
DAY/TIME/EVENT.
If it makes the kids cry WRITE IT DOWN.
You tell the cops
you want a record of everything that's happening
because it's escalating
and you may soon want their help.
You (meanwhile) keep a daily journal.
If you see his car drive by -
write it down.
You get hangup calls -
write it down.
Tell your school you have sole custody until proceedings are final.
Block his number.
Return any mail from him.
But WRITE EVERY TEENSY THING DOWN.
Once per week - make a copy
and take it to the police dept.
They will have it on record.
If your local police dept tells you
that they won't take the report -
call your nearest American Civil Liberties Union.
He's mixing poisons now, hon.
It's what we call .. escalating.
I'm trying to get you to prepare yourself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Honey, you stay connected to this website - I have seen the caring and smart people here do wonders for one another.
He is messing with your mind big-time. HE IS NOT TELLING THE TRUTH about who you are.
I would agree with Suki: go no contact.
He is messing with your mind big-time. HE IS NOT TELLING THE TRUTH about who you are.
I would agree with Suki: go no contact.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
He is quacking, loudly! His enabler has pulled out and he is trying to manipulate you into coming back into his control.
You are not powerful enough to make a grown man drink! Forget it! quack, quack, quack
He will likely keep trying to hook you into his drama
Pelican I have a question because I found this point by you interesting....
now realizing that Hopeless is not dealing with "normal".... but why is it that he/they really use such CRUEL techniques to keep the person entangled in drama?? Wouldn't such cruel techniques just push the person away?
And Hopeless...No, you are certainly not dealing with a "sane" person!! You sound like such a sweet and thoughtful woman and I am so sorry he is saying these ridiculous things to you.
Do you see what he did though? He first asked you to tell him what he wanted to know...THEN he used THAT information to turn against you. Really, it's almost like no matter what you would have said he would have found away to blame it all on you.
Sending you BIG HUGS.
You are not powerful enough to make a grown man drink! Forget it! quack, quack, quack
He will likely keep trying to hook you into his drama
Pelican I have a question because I found this point by you interesting....
now realizing that Hopeless is not dealing with "normal".... but why is it that he/they really use such CRUEL techniques to keep the person entangled in drama?? Wouldn't such cruel techniques just push the person away?
And Hopeless...No, you are certainly not dealing with a "sane" person!! You sound like such a sweet and thoughtful woman and I am so sorry he is saying these ridiculous things to you.
Do you see what he did though? He first asked you to tell him what he wanted to know...THEN he used THAT information to turn against you. Really, it's almost like no matter what you would have said he would have found away to blame it all on you.
Sending you BIG HUGS.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 534
He seems like a textbook abuser. I agree with no contact. And document the threats of violence against you and future imagined boyfriends. I would definitely file for divorce and a protective order.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hopeless,
Please listen to the good advice above:
1) Document EVERYTHING.
2) File complaints with the police - being a good wife needs to take the back seat to saving your own life and sanity right now, as well as the safety of your child.
3) Please see a lawyer immediately, and explain what is happening. Consider a protective order.
4) I'd urge you to contact your local service agency that helps abused women. He IS a textbook abuser, and you are (I'm sorry to say) thinking the thoughts of a textbook victim. You can change this - and for your son's sake and YOUR sake, you need to. There is help available.
5) Please keep posting here. We have such a wide range of support and experience and wisdom here.
We can help you to see the answer to your question:
Absolutely right. And you need to let your religious beliefs protect you, rather than letting them bring you into harm's way. I know of no God that lays his children on the altar of violence and abuse - the God of my heart would have put you here for a reason. For what reason we can't know - more will be revealed - but it wasn't to be ground under the boot of an abusive, manipulative addict.
Hugs to you,
GL
Please listen to the good advice above:
1) Document EVERYTHING.
2) File complaints with the police - being a good wife needs to take the back seat to saving your own life and sanity right now, as well as the safety of your child.
3) Please see a lawyer immediately, and explain what is happening. Consider a protective order.
4) I'd urge you to contact your local service agency that helps abused women. He IS a textbook abuser, and you are (I'm sorry to say) thinking the thoughts of a textbook victim. You can change this - and for your son's sake and YOUR sake, you need to. There is help available.
5) Please keep posting here. We have such a wide range of support and experience and wisdom here.
We can help you to see the answer to your question:
I'm dealing with a complete psycho here, right??
Hugs to you,
GL
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Pelican I have a question because I found this point by you interesting....
now realizing that Hopeless is not dealing with "normal".... but why is it that he/they really use such CRUEL techniques to keep the person entangled in drama?? Wouldn't such cruel techniques just push the person away?
It is a form of abuse used by abusers. Making the victim of abuse feel responsible for the outburst and attacks. Lowering the self-esteem keeps victims stuck in the drama.
"The power of being emotionally stuck is far greater than the power of reason." Melody Beattie in Codependent No More
now realizing that Hopeless is not dealing with "normal".... but why is it that he/they really use such CRUEL techniques to keep the person entangled in drama?? Wouldn't such cruel techniques just push the person away?
It is a form of abuse used by abusers. Making the victim of abuse feel responsible for the outburst and attacks. Lowering the self-esteem keeps victims stuck in the drama.
"The power of being emotionally stuck is far greater than the power of reason." Melody Beattie in Codependent No More
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Honey, you call his actions "not normal", I call them INSANE, and very dangerous.
You need protecting from him, in fact everybody needs protecting from him, as he seems off the planet. The suggestions here are good, and unfortunately learned thru hard, personal experience. Some here still wear the scars, others have scars that are hidden.
First you protect yourself:
See a lawyer, and also seek a protection order.
Maybe he will explode and be put into care, but you need safety now.
Have no contact with him, cut phone etc from his calls.
Keep posting so you have support here, and we don't worry ourselves over how you are.
God bless
You need protecting from him, in fact everybody needs protecting from him, as he seems off the planet. The suggestions here are good, and unfortunately learned thru hard, personal experience. Some here still wear the scars, others have scars that are hidden.
First you protect yourself:
See a lawyer, and also seek a protection order.
Maybe he will explode and be put into care, but you need safety now.
Have no contact with him, cut phone etc from his calls.
Keep posting so you have support here, and we don't worry ourselves over how you are.
God bless
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: UK and Australia
Posts: 447
Lots of good advice above no more to add except my support to the pile :0).....keep reading keep posting and TAKE CARE OF YOU and your son.
Alcoholism Sucks....but SR keeps many of us sane......Phiz
Alcoholism Sucks....but SR keeps many of us sane......Phiz
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: littleton, Colorado
Posts: 146
Hopeless-listen to the wisdom here. I have. Although it took some time for me to find the "right" time to walk. I did 2 months ago. My RAH did the threats against 2 different men because he believed I was fooling around. I wasn't. I have been the biggest support...just like you. But-it doesn't matter how supportive you are-it will never matter or make a difference to him. He is one twisted dude, plain and simple. Your son does not deserve to have that as a role model.
Protect yourself-keep coming back here.
Protect yourself-keep coming back here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Originally Posted by Pelican 
Pelican I have a question because I found this point by you interesting....
now realizing that Hopeless is not dealing with "normal".... but why is it that he/they really use such CRUEL techniques to keep the person entangled in drama?? Wouldn't such cruel techniques just push the person away?
It is a form of abuse used by abusers. Making the victim of abuse feel responsible for the outburst and attacks. Lowering the self-esteem keeps victims stuck in the drama.
"The power of being emotionally stuck is far greater than the power of reason." Melody Beattie in Codependent No More
now realizing that Hopeless is not dealing with "normal".... but why is it that he/they really use such CRUEL techniques to keep the person entangled in drama?? Wouldn't such cruel techniques just push the person away?
It is a form of abuse used by abusers. Making the victim of abuse feel responsible for the outburst and attacks. Lowering the self-esteem keeps victims stuck in the drama.
"The power of being emotionally stuck is far greater than the power of reason." Melody Beattie in Codependent No More
Wife thanks that I could vent/share on your thread. This man is keeping you stuck and he knows how to keep you timid. NO CONTACT. Do not show him that he frightens you.There is no way that you could lose children due to normal human behaviour before you met him. He is extremely abusive and a danger to your mental health. I know you have to let go - but dont let go of RECORDING every deatil of each abusive (yes it is abuse) incident. In fact if you cannot remember past behaviour - use your posts on SR.
Lots of love from me.You are not a hopeless wife. He decided that for you. He is a hopeless husband.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
He has to bring up your past to take the focus off HIM being a jerk, alcoholic/junkie...........And what you did before him isn't his business. And what you did wasn't that bad. He is an abuser. They are jealous. Women's Health Mag. March2010..... has a list of abusers characteristics;blamers, resentful,have an entitlement complex, superiority complex, petty, sarccastic, deceitful, JEALOUS, and pushy!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
I doubt he wants a divorce. What he wants is to convince you that you are so loathsome that no one else will want you and you will stick with him no matter how messed up he is.
I wouldn't be surprised if next week he tells you he 'forgives' you for your past.
You talk to him, you do his taxes, you are easily pushed around....nah, he doesn't want to lose you; just punish you further into submission.
He's not going to get your son. Hookers get custody of their kids. Drunks get custody of kids. Not that you are either. It's just that parental rights are so strong that really the only ones who lose their parental rights are those who walk away...or those who over a very long period of time don't cooperate with the court.
You might feel better speaking to a religious person about your confusion. Or go to Luke173ministries dot org. It's written primarily for adult women who have grown up in abusive families...but it will absolutely be pertinent to your situation, any abusive situation. Abusers everywhere say all the same thing, make all the same moves. The woman who runs the site counters all the predictable bs abusers give based on bibical study. I doubt there's an abusive technique she hasn't addressed.
In any case, he IS psycho. You'll feel better if you just cut him off no contact. It's funny, the first couple times are hard because you are conditioned to respond, but after one or two times of hanging up on him the minute you hear his voice, or not responding to the text or email and suddenly, like a switch, you won't ever want to engage again. It will make you sick to even think of talking to him. The peace and stength is too intoxicating.
You owe him nothing. Marriages are broken through abuse, addiction, adultry, and abandonment...sometimes it just takes the law time to catch up to the spirtual reality. I believe Heaven weeps at the abuse and pain he is influcting on you.
I wouldn't be surprised if next week he tells you he 'forgives' you for your past.
You talk to him, you do his taxes, you are easily pushed around....nah, he doesn't want to lose you; just punish you further into submission.
He's not going to get your son. Hookers get custody of their kids. Drunks get custody of kids. Not that you are either. It's just that parental rights are so strong that really the only ones who lose their parental rights are those who walk away...or those who over a very long period of time don't cooperate with the court.
You might feel better speaking to a religious person about your confusion. Or go to Luke173ministries dot org. It's written primarily for adult women who have grown up in abusive families...but it will absolutely be pertinent to your situation, any abusive situation. Abusers everywhere say all the same thing, make all the same moves. The woman who runs the site counters all the predictable bs abusers give based on bibical study. I doubt there's an abusive technique she hasn't addressed.
In any case, he IS psycho. You'll feel better if you just cut him off no contact. It's funny, the first couple times are hard because you are conditioned to respond, but after one or two times of hanging up on him the minute you hear his voice, or not responding to the text or email and suddenly, like a switch, you won't ever want to engage again. It will make you sick to even think of talking to him. The peace and stength is too intoxicating.
You owe him nothing. Marriages are broken through abuse, addiction, adultry, and abandonment...sometimes it just takes the law time to catch up to the spirtual reality. I believe Heaven weeps at the abuse and pain he is influcting on you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 16
Thanks for your advice. I just read the Women's Health article on abusive men and he has a lot of the characteristics. He is acting as if I've betrayed him in the worst possible way, like I've cheated on him or something of that level. He called today and said I make him sick and that I don't know what I've done to him, that he looks ill and feels so angry. He just keeps saying how disgusting I am. I've turned my cell phone off and I'm only letting him contact me through e-mail, but I just feel horrible. I did lie about small things about my past, but it was none of his business in the first place. He is such a mess. I am going to try not speaking to him at all for a week while I figure out what I'm going to do and speak to a family law attorney I used to work with.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 302
You will feel so much better not being around that! Cut him off, and don't acknowledge him. It will make him furious, but it will make you stronger. He doesn't want you to be strong - he wants to keep walking all over you.
I can totally see him "forgiving you" next week for your supposed indiscretions. Ha.
Run, and don't let him drag you back. Definitely talk to a lawyer.
I can totally see him "forgiving you" next week for your supposed indiscretions. Ha.
Run, and don't let him drag you back. Definitely talk to a lawyer.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
thanks for the update, h.w.
you are SO smart to just turn off the phone. when you have to turn it on to look at it, any message or call from him....you know what to do....delete it! even reading a text could send you into a spin, so don't risk it!
you're so gonna get through this, one
day you're gonna look back and see HOW MUCH you've learned, and HOW STRONG you are, even today, right this minute, you are strong.
we're all here with ya
you are SO smart to just turn off the phone. when you have to turn it on to look at it, any message or call from him....you know what to do....delete it! even reading a text could send you into a spin, so don't risk it!
you're so gonna get through this, one
day you're gonna look back and see HOW MUCH you've learned, and HOW STRONG you are, even today, right this minute, you are strong.
we're all here with ya
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