Daisy30

Maybe you guys can talk me through this one.

I found a condom tonight at AH house. I admit I was being nosey and digging around in a drawer (by the bed) and I lifted up a little note book and bam, there it was. Now this could have been one of our condoms...i dunno? I really don't remember the last time we used them? We have probably only bought them twice in our whole marriage. We may have bought some after DS was born (almost 3 years ago) I really can't remember. Let's just say we haven't dtd in at least 18 months. We have been seperated for 15 months now.

So I checked the expiration date, hoping it would give me a clue as to when it was purchased (bad, I know). It expires in 2014. I dunno what to make of all this. I don't want to make something out of nothing either.

Thoughts?....am I nuts??

also, I will post an update about the al-non lady and our talk soon

suki44883

Okay, you were snooping and you found a condom. You don't know if it's new or old. You have been separated for 15 months. What difference would it make, really? 18 months is a long time for most men to go without sex. Had you not considered that he might have had sex during the past 15 months? I'm not trying to be harsh, but it wouldn't really be that unusual, right?

Daisy30

I really thought that he wouldn't. We are still married. I know I have filed for divorce.
I guess I shouldn't get myself worked up.

suki44883

I can understand how it might be a shock. Just because you're getting divorced doesn't mean you don't still have feelings.

Taking5

So let's assume the worst, let's assume he was having sex with someone. Of what use is this information to you? Why do you even give a damn? Why were you snooping?

Daisy30

I know I shouldn't have been. It is my own fault. I stopped looking for bottles a long time ago. But really this time I was looking for drugs. Something just seemed off about AH and I thought I would (take control Ahhhhhhhhhhh.....don't do it) and look and see if I could find my answer.

I know better......


ETA: I think I was getting sucked back in.....I was starting to think that everything was going to work out some how, that he was getting "better". I really HATE divorce with every inch of my being. It hurts everyone, me, my kids, AH. I was in rainbows and lollypos land......*sigh* I can go there so easily.....still

freefalling

The snooping after separation made me physically sick. Nearly landed in hospital. What they do with their time has got nothing to do with us. We of course want them to pine after only us - not gonna happen.

What did I read here on the board about expectations and resentments?

Gold

Any time we are focusing on them takes away time from us focusing on ourselves and our own needs.

Stop setting yourself up for pain and hurt. Do things which nurture your soul.