I got so angry today
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Perfectionism is a pretty common codie trait.
Even when we know in our rational minds or can say "Jeez it's not the end of the world!" there is usually a darker voice inside that is harshly judgmental and very angry that we f*ck up the way we do, because remember that codie voice thinks it knows how to do everything right!!!!
Cognitive Behavior Therapy helped me alot with my overeaction, with beating myself down for mistakes and shortcomings. It helped me learn to look at my thoughts more rationally, more detached, and decide on a change in behavior without all the tearing myself to shreds, which had quite a negative effect on me, my moods, my performance as a parent etc.
CBT also taught me to arrange a kind of red flag alarm system with myself so when someone or one of my kids was pushing me past my limit I could self-impose a little time-out before I said something I would regret that would start the self-hating cycle all over again.
It takes effort ...but it has made a HUGE difference for me. I can use the techniques anywhere, anytime....as long as I stay mindful and don't fall off the rage cliff first!!
Forgive yourself Kermie. Sometimes kids push us too far and they need to know that. And then we can teach them another lesson by honestly apologizing for our harsh words or foolish behavior in a moment of anger.
((((hugs))))
peace-
b
Even when we know in our rational minds or can say "Jeez it's not the end of the world!" there is usually a darker voice inside that is harshly judgmental and very angry that we f*ck up the way we do, because remember that codie voice thinks it knows how to do everything right!!!!
Cognitive Behavior Therapy helped me alot with my overeaction, with beating myself down for mistakes and shortcomings. It helped me learn to look at my thoughts more rationally, more detached, and decide on a change in behavior without all the tearing myself to shreds, which had quite a negative effect on me, my moods, my performance as a parent etc.
CBT also taught me to arrange a kind of red flag alarm system with myself so when someone or one of my kids was pushing me past my limit I could self-impose a little time-out before I said something I would regret that would start the self-hating cycle all over again.
It takes effort ...but it has made a HUGE difference for me. I can use the techniques anywhere, anytime....as long as I stay mindful and don't fall off the rage cliff first!!
Forgive yourself Kermie. Sometimes kids push us too far and they need to know that. And then we can teach them another lesson by honestly apologizing for our harsh words or foolish behavior in a moment of anger.
((((hugs))))
peace-
b
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